Terrence Howard is crying tears…of joy.

Of my many complaints with this show possibly the biggest is that people are like “Oh, these vampires are so sexy!” when no they are not. They are awful. They rip people apart with bare hands and feel no remorse. They have weird secret tribunals where they force people to kill teenage girls. They are sociopaths and I have learned the hard way (or maybe I just learned through common sense) that sociopaths are not sexy.

Let’s see…what happened in 1981. Well, there was – nope, not born.

Why does it have too look so much like what I imagine a vagina to look like?

True Blood is a terrible television show. It is the television equivalent what would happen if Stephanie Meyer and Hitler had a child who became a television writer and then got both Michael Bay to produce and Ewe Boll to direct.

But now I remember why I watch it.

Sir Darren Harper, Esq., Earl of Essex, Duke of Dorset, Second Viscount of Pretentionland

Obviously this takes place in the same universe as The Last Action Hero.

Um, this weekend my friends and I are getting UK drunk!

If this wasn’t the interwebs I would begin clapping slowly as fellow member of the audience began to join into what would become raucous applause.

Oh, well.

Until Smell-o-vision is created I will fail to see the point in perfume commercials. PLEASE, tell me we’ll soon have Smell-o-vision. I’d rather live to see that as opposed to flying cars!

He is really good though! But still pants are pants and whether you’re going outside or letting people outside see what you have on inside pants must be worn.

So that’s Pakistani for “all I wanna know…where the gold at?”

I thought the ‘Funeral’ sketch was pretty funny. By the time Mya Rudolph came on singing about nachos to the tune of Amazing Grace I began to wonder if someone had secretly drugged me.