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dance contest winner
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Planned Parenthood, obviously.
p.s. this one is for the KELLY SUPERFANS who click through on ALL of the afternoon links
“I want to report a rape.”
–Chris Kattan
The Sisterhood of the Unbuttoned Pants
The Expandables
Speaking of biting hands and Werther’s Originals:
Andy Serkis can play the dry pants. Still works.
“I’m just here for the free wifi.”
Stupid words used this episode: vampup, fangrape.
Your move, Richard Heene.
Quick, get on the computer train that goes directly from the center of the computer to the portal!
Shouldn’t that be a bus? (get it? computers!)
“We’re on a mission from Dog.”
Gross. I wouldn’t fuck Carrot Top with Kathy Griffin’s dick.
and this is why Mr. Hausfrau is THE BEST! My very brief heyday on vgum came and went and now I am very old and the kids have taken over but you still remember! It’s like being invited back for old-timer’s day. 3 hearts right back at ya!
“Lady Liberty kept flashing them big ass titties at me, so I fucked her.” –France
Now you have to fuck her sister. That’s just how that works.
Exhibit 100 gazillion in the ongoing case of Men Will Say and Do ANYTHING to Get Laid.
p.s. can someone let me know if this actually works?
gettin’ JigiLeaks with it.
The first rule of Night Club is that you don’t talk about Night Club.
The second rule of Night Club is where am I? Who are you people? I need to go home.
In 2030, all Americans will work for the Chinese? So, the complaint is that they are going to give us jobs? Go back to complaint school, CAGW.
The first rule of Fort Club is that you must use your imagination to empower and grow our community.
The second rule of Fort Club is no Droid phones.
Kids these days are obsessed with what day it is. When I was young, it was Tuesday every day and we liked it that way!
Aww…don’t worry, buddy. There’s plenty of fish in the pet shop up on level 3, next to the footlocker.
Luca Brasi sleeps with the puppies, in the den.






















Padma fact #12: That’s not chocolate.