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Christopher
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I basically do not get Gabe’s attitude here at all.
The sequence of events is essentially this:
Problem: Cable subscriptions offer you a variety of channels. Too many, in fact; you’re paying a lot of money for twelve channels that you watch and the 50 that have never had a single program on them that you have ever wanted to watch in the decade you’ve been paying for cable.
Solution: A fairly cheap high-speed internet network that allows people to watch only the programs that appeal to them, and at the times that are best for them.
New Problem: The current business plans of the big entertainment conglomerates don’t work unless people are paying for those useless channels and watching the programs on TV
Solution: Suppress the useful, popular technology and decide there is no solution to the original problem.
I’m not saying anybody on that chain of logic made a bad decision, morally or in terms of business, I’m just saying that if we live in a system where mediocre ideas that make money routinely, and expectedly crowd out better ideas that don’t make money, maybe that’s actually a legitimate problem?
To look at that chain of events and essentially react with “What, you think that good ideas should do better than bad ones just because they’re good ideas? What are you, some kind of baby?” is really, really weird to me.
Also, real talk: Why are cable ad revenues so much higher than Hulu ad revenues? I haven’t watched an ad on live TV since they invented the mute button, and I haven’t watched them on the internet since they invented ad blocking software. Actually, my ad blocker seems to have stopped working on Hulu, and the 30 seconds of ads they have there aren’t annoying enough for me to try to turn off, so I’m arguably MORE likely to see and respond to ads on Hulu.
You know TV used to be free, right? They just broadcast that shit over the airwaves and paid for it with ad revenue. Why is this not an option for Hulu?
Hey, here’s a fun game: What religious texts does Paltrow have on her religious book shelf?
Dianetics? The Satanic Bible?
You all can think of something that’s actually funny, I’m sure.
Actually, we know exactly what books she has, because they came with the shelf. Seriously.
Here’s the non funny part: Because I didn’t pay attention to her that closely, I always thought that Gabe was too hard on Paltrow, but I kind of really hate her now just because of this one bookshelf. It has specially carved nooks so that the tops of all the books line up, sending the inspiring message that different religions should all be respected on the same level. The books are divided between the Abrahamic religions and the four most famous Asian religions, sending the inspiring message that the religious history of the other four continents and most of Europe isn’t even worth remembering. It’s perfect for a person who is simultaneously pretentious and utterly thoughtless.
So, I always take bugs outside in a cup, because I believe in karma and I think it lessens the chances that somebody will think I’m gross and wad me up in a kleenex (I’m pretty gross so there’s a real threat here).
That said, am I the only one who thought this video was kind of more funny then sad? I think it needs more, like the Dragonfly wooing its first love, getting a degree from Dragonfly U, seeing its child take its first steps, etc.
My question is, where does it end?
My mom sometimes gives food to her church, and they in turn donate it to needy families in the community. The American community. A stable first world country with at least the semblance of a social safety net. Why isn’t she donating that food to needy communities in war-torn Afghanistan? And thinking further, at least the people in Afghanistan are free, when you compare them to political dissidents being tortured in repressive regimes, so why isn’t she dropping everything to start a campaign to free political dissidents? If you think about it even more, with six billion people on earth odds are at least one of them is a quadriplegic orphan nun trapped in a volcano, and sort of accidentally propped up on top of a car battery that periodically shorts out and shocks her, plus Cthulhu is there too. This human rights campaign is really just using up time that would be better spent searching each of our planet’s volcanos….
“Maybe the state could make an argument for why she needs to be institutionalized, but surely two separate private citizens are not in charge of this?”
Well, apparently Jodie Foster attacks have the same protocol as Gamera attacks: Whichever civilian yells the loudest about how the monster is our friend is put in charge. At least Liam Neeson wasn’t wearing short pants. I hope.
I feel like this movie is kind of getting a bad rep here that it doesn’t deserve. It’s not Pirates of the Caribbean 4 or Predators or whatever movie you think is just a parade of idiocies that falls apart in literally one second’s thought.
You don’t have to be open to stupidity, you just have to be open to the fact that this is J.J. Abrams making a retro Spielberg pastiche.
I feel like this movie came out, oh, five years too late. The nostalgia trend is getting played out, and so is the J.J. Abrams trend. Some people are so tired of those trends that they can’t enjoy the rest of the movie, which has excellent child actors, playing well-written characters and good direction that keeps up the suspense.
I can see how the train crash is ridiculous, but at the same time it was really well directed and the fact that it just kept going really made it seem menacing. Every time you think that surely it must almost be over and these kids must be safe, another damn train car falls out of the air and threatens to smush them.
It does fall apart at the ending. My take is, given that the alien is an empath, and that it clearly realizes we’re sentient because it uses our tools to rebuild its spacecraft, it’s eating people because it has been driven crazy, and as soon as it gets back home it’s going to start eating the other members of its own species.
But that one wobbly bit isn’t enough to kill the movie. You might think it would be, but the movie’s really about the kids, and none of them eat people.
People aren’t asking Gabe to turn off his brain, they’re just saying that maybe “just because” IS a good enough reason to set a movie in 1979. That even if making films as a kid isn’t meaningful to him, he can see how it would be to other people and accept it as the premise.
Anyway, if the thought of J.J. Abrams making a Spielberg pastiche sounds good to you, I bet you’ll really like this film, and if the idea is already giving you hives, Super 8 is probably just not quite good enough to win you over.
It looks like Puddle of Mudd bought their spaceship used off of Pearl Forrester, which is appropriate, since they also like to torture people with horrible videos.
I read your post and thought, “Hey, a Pepper Anne avatar.”
And then I thought, “Wait, why the hell do I instantly recognize a poorly framed image of a decade old cartoon I have never watched in my life, and yet I’ve lived in this apartment for three months now and still can’t remember my phone number or zip code?” And then I started thinking about where my life is headed and I got depressed.
Basically, I blame you and your Pepper Anne avatar for all the problems in my life.
So Funny Games has the same ending as Wayne’s World?
How the hell do you choke when asked to come up with an advertisement for the community arts center? I’ve seen government ad campaigns around here that make “Yo, this is my Arts Center” look like “Where’s the beef?” and I live in LA.
Dude, I thought we as a nation agreed to never mention Pogs ever again. They have been erased from history. In fact, what’s a pog? Some kind of fancy Swedish restaurant?
Anyway, I had Beanie Babies. For some insane reason the chameleon was green and the iguana was rainbow colored. I keep them in a box next to my Magic: The Gathering cards and Rob Liefield comics. I’m going to trade that box for a Ferrari.
So “viral video” just means “ordinary TV ad but it’s on youtube and slightly longer”?
Also, who the hell is Gavin McInnes and what the hell are Tevas, and why am I the only one who hasn’t heard of these things?
Am I the only person not impressed by this?
It’s not that hard to get a chicken bacon cheese sandwich, so essentially eating this is like if you bought your own sandwich, and then decided to bum one piece of chicken from a friend’s KFC bucket.
Sure it’s pretty gross and bad for you, but where’s the majesty? If I’m going to eat an insane sandwich, it should be the kind that makes me think “So this is what it feels like to be Dagwood Bumstead”, not “so this is what it feels like to ask for seconds”. Throw an all-beef patty and a fried egg in there and we’ll talk.
Is that alien played by Hayashida from Cromartie High School?
I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Oliver.
Wait, no, I think i did that wrong, I’m gonna try again:
Whatcha got ain’t nothin new. This blog’s hard on people, you can’t stop what’s coming, it ain’t all waiting on you. That’s vanity.
Damn, I suck at this.
I know Videogum is putting itself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do…. but I think it logged me in a swinglow.
AND THIS IS BECCA!
If it’s just me, then disregard this.
But if it’s swinglow, then everybody freak out.
That line is so stupid it almost comes back around to being cool… almost.
The best part is that she sent that line to Keanu in a letter. In other words, this isn’t just something she blurted out; it’s the result of hours or days worth of work coming up with a perfect retort to send back to Keanu.
Brilliant.
Well, see what I like about Gran Torino is that Walt is actually extremely racist but he’s still sympathetic.
That’s not because I like racism, but racism is so stigmatized here in America that nobody can ever admit that their behavior is racist, because in this country being racist means you are a worthless, irredeemable scumbag. So you get situations where you have a character like Walt, and you say he’s not racist because he’s not a worthless irredeemable scumbag.
And if people are afraid to admit that their behavior is racist and bad, they won’t change it, because changing the behavior would acknowledge that it is racist, and admitting that their behavior is racist is like admitting that they’re worthless filth.
So I like movies that encourage the idea that racism is bad behavior you can change, rather then a sign of inherent evil.
All that said, it is a pretty stupid movie. And the acting’s not too great either. I don’t think I could even call it a good movie, really, but worst of all time? Sometimes I think you people have way too high standards. Sometimes this almost seems like The Hunt For The Most Kind Of Okay But Not Great Movie Of All Time.
I can’t really agree with you on that. The characters may have motivations but they’re shitty, stupid motivations. Stan’s motivations for being a wacky dick to his hot, long-suffering wife stem from him being a boring stereotype of a Republican, whereas Peter’s stem from a general idea that this is the role the husband should play on a sitcom.
I just don’t see one as being better then the other.
Also, there’s that stupid fish who seems to be there for no other reason then that Family Guy had two wacky sidekicks. They never have anything for him to actually do in the show, so that’s the only reason I can think that they’d include him.
I mean, yeah, they’re not literally exactly the same, but again, there’s nothing that compares to the differences between Futurama and The Simpsons or between Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill.
Is that shocking though? American Dad is just a watered down version of Family Guy, and that’s the one that ISN’T a spin-off.
I’m just annoyed that MacFarlane seems to be making the same show FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME. Mike Judge followed Beavis & Butthead with the radically different King of the Hill (Which, I still don’t get the hate for). Matt Groening followed The Simpsons with the radically different Futurama. And yet MacFarlane just keeps doing the same show over and over again. And it’s especially annoying because it’s not like this is his only outlet. If he wants to do Family Guy, he can just go work on American Dad. Or, you know, just do Family Guy.
Eagle Eye. Every frame of that film has something ridiculous, from the big (The last we see of the big baddie she’s trying to escape from the heroes, and then the movie just ends without saying what happened to her) to the small (The evactuation plan for the Pentagon is just a drawing of the ENTIRE PENTAGON as seen from above with some vague red lines on it.)
It’s so bad it’s hard to talk about except in a stream-of-consciousness ramble, because every time you bring up one problem with the movie, it reminds you of five more related problems, like some kind of bad movie hydra.
Also, I kind of feel like there’s been too many straight drama films in The Hunt lately. Let’s get some genre picks up in here.
Megan Fox looks about fifteen years too old to play a high school student. And I mean even by the Hollywood standard where everybody in high school is 25 years old.
IMDB says she’s 23, but I just can’t buy that. She looks like she could be Johnny Simmons’ mother.
Speaking of adults and having to write the word All-Spark as if that’s a thing, how about the Matrix of Leadership.
You knew the risks going in, Gabe.
The Matrix of Leadership, of course, would be a reference to the 80s cartoon version of Transformers. I sometimes watch that new Transformers cartoon they have now, and every once and a while they’ll put in some cute little reference to the 80s show and I’ll nod my head and think, “yeah, I remember that!” and then I start to think about how these shows were such a big part of my childhood, how a part of my identity was forged by these 30 minute toy ads that clearly had about five seconds of thought put into them (if that), and I feel a little bit sad.
Werewolves are pretty played out too, as are zombies. Mark my words, mummies are the wave of the future.
“No it’s not like that and that is a terrible analogy. Starbucks isn’t making you sit through commercials to drink their cups of coffee.”
See, I come at it from the other direction, which is, if you’re homeless, broke and slowly starving to death, the fact that Starbucks won’t give you a free coffee and brownie actually IS ridiculous.
That doesn’t mean I think Starbucks is immoral for not giving free coffee to anybody who asks, but a terrible result doesn’t magically become a good result just because every individual decision leading to that result made sense at the time.
There. Now you don’t have to read that other post where I said the same thing at three times the length.