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 +1Posted on Jan 25th, 2010 | re: When You Wrestle With The Ginger, You're Gonna Get Wet With Lawyers (78 comments)

“Michael, last time I checked it doesn’t take 3 minutes to take the trash out.”

 +5Posted on Nov 20th, 2009 | re: World's Greatest Freak Out Kids Are Taking It To The Next Level (27 comments)

“I black out the whole thing… when I get angry I don’t really remember what I do.” Whoa easy there Eddie Norton!

 0Posted on Nov 18th, 2009 | re: An Open Letter To The Ladies Of The View On The Subject Of Rape (42 comments)

Did we date? I recall you stealing Hamiltons out of my wallet and returning from Nordstrom Rack with UGGs and leggings on. Bitch.

 0Posted on Nov 10th, 2009 | re: Clearly, We Need To Name-Bomb The Paranormal Activity DVD (45 comments)

Joel Videogum Bauer = huge Paranormal Activity fan
This guy… ehhh, not so much.

 0Posted on Oct 13th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 9 (250 comments)

Sorry American Patriot but I think I FOUND the MOST FUCKING ridiculous IMDB thread EVER http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469263/board/thread/66309751

 +5Posted on Oct 13th, 2009 | re: Roger Ebert Is The @Best! (15 comments)

Yes my friend, but it’s a double-edged sword (I heard that in the Breakfast Club): the internet also brings you one @ away from Dustin Diamond.

 +19Posted on Oct 13th, 2009 | re: Roger Ebert Is The @Best! (15 comments)

Who’s this Roger Ebert? Is he Robert’s brother?

 +6Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 | re: That's Your Sitcom: Sherri (31 comments)

If you run out of mousepads I’ll take the less sought-after “Vodka and Tampon” coffee mug.

 +2Posted on Oct 5th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Whip It! (71 comments)

Gabe: “American Gothic” Sarah Paulson? Or Sarah Paulson now? I’m on a need-to-know basis and I needz to know!

 +3Posted on Oct 5th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Whip It! (71 comments)

Sadly, (sighs, shakes head in embarrassment) there’s an app for that.
http://www.runpee.com/#app=845b&e1bd-RunPeeID=0.0.0&d22f-selectedIndex=0

 +1Posted on Sep 25th, 2009 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (86 comments)

Sorry, guy. I wear his mask to remind me of my own vulnerability. I still have The Shining-esque nightmares of him sniffing his way through that Bavarian town. Shudder.

 +6Posted on Sep 24th, 2009 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (86 comments)

SHIT! I was totally going to suggest this idea, only instead of the Tofe it was going to be Devon Sawa! There’s no “Highlander” rule in effect here is there?

 +1Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 | re: That's Your Gathering: The 10th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos (160 comments)

Finally! A reward for living in Cave-In-Rock,IL! Remember, no smoking near the outhouse! You probably want to steer clear of the meth lab too…

I really thought we’d all see “Keeping the Faith: Breaking Training” before she hit the sitcoms again. Boy was I wrong!

 +26Posted on Jun 24th, 2009 | re: Another Intelligent Adult Seems To Think Facebook: The Movie Is A Good Idea (21 comments)

Sorkin’s gonna get the greenlight for this one while the script for my Xanga biopic sits on the shelf. Well, that’s Hollywood I guess.

Man that’s like giving David Schwimmer a star now. He doesn’t have one does he? If he does it must be from his Kissing a Fool/ 6 Days 7 Nights era.

 +6Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 | re: The Kush: Finally, A Thing To Put Between Your Boobs While You Sleep (49 comments)

Was I the only one who thought back to my freshman college roommate when I saw this? It was always “Afghan Kush this” and “OG Kush that” with that kid.

 0Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Margot At The Wedding (116 comments)

In that first clip, when Margot is opening the present (How long does it take you to tear open tissue paper!?!) JJL gives the “hurry this along” hand gesture. That’s precisely how I felt watching this movie.

Easy there tiger. That “Well Zach Galifianakis is in it so I’m going to give it a chance” card is thrown around way too much. I enjoy him as much as the next person, but for every genius movie he’s in, there’s also Heartbreakers, Bubble Boy, Corky Romano, G-Force, etc.. Don’t hate. I’m just looking out for you because I care.

 -9Posted on Jun 18th, 2009 | re: NSFW: Name That Catch/Cumphrase (210 comments)

“Whoa!” Joey Lawrence.

 +3Posted on Jun 12th, 2009 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (78 comments)

Classic name! I want you to know that, well, I appreciate you.

 +5Posted on Jun 12th, 2009 | re: Kate Gosselin Is A Monster. (52 comments)

When she says, “Alexis, that’s adorable” I realized she’d be great as the villain in McG’s next Terminator installment. Ice queen. What a bitch.

 +2Posted on Jun 12th, 2009 | re: Old Dogs Is The John McCain Of Movies (54 comments)

Scottie NO! Seth Green had the same exact scene in “Without a Paddle” only replace the gorilla with a bear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8pz1gIVWYc See, the gorilla/bear SO BIG, but Seth Green SO LITTLE. This movie will be #1 in the box office for 2+ weeks. I guarantee it.

Hey! That’s Clint Eastwood’s daughter you’re ragging on oh-so-deservedly!

 +4Posted on May 20th, 2009 | re: Remember When Twin Peaks Was Just A Network TV Show? (14 comments)

“That gum you like is going to come back in style.”