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brianfantana
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I agree on porn – I would read these at home (but not at work). Reviewing big budget ones like Batman XXX and the like could be neat. OR not.
For whoever said “less ads please” I definitely agree with the sentiment, but let’s be real – those ads are what gives this place bandwidth to post repeated .gif’s of Community every Thursday (or every day, for that matter). It’s definitely not going to get less ads without us subscribing and I do enjoy my FreeGum right now and don’t want that to change.
As far as user content, is there any reason we, as users, couldn’t contribute to these same reviews? I know we’re not getting paid, but I’d honestly love to write a WMOAT review. Even if Gabe simply assigns them to people who volunteer and we all write them at the same time, allowing him to pick and choose when he filters them out. If only 30 well-written-and-read monsters wrote recaps and even if only 20 were actually done/completed and/or funny, that would be enough to do one every 5 days for the majority of the summer. Pretty simple solution! I think this principle would apply to everything – whoever loves Franklin and Bash, write a #FandB recap. These guys can’t do it all!
If we want to help keep the content what we want, maybe we should start DETERMINING the content, instead of simply responding to it.
I’d like to joke about Jon Hamm’s insertion filling my void for 100, orangeyouglad. #MangayforHammgum
Thank GOSH, amiright? NO PARADOX – POP POP!
Let’s do it using sandwiches:
NBC is producing a turd sandwich every single day, save for Thursday evenings when they break out the “fancy” ham, the various breads, bacon, some nice Italian cheese or whatever and they toast and deep fry that shit until everyone LOVES it; can’t get enough and they even start websites just TALKING about these sandwiches, but most people are so bored/”ugh!” with what they serve most of the time, they don’t bother to come back to the restaurant to give it a chance.
Meanwhile, USA is Jimmy Johns – fast, effortless sandwiches that aren’t the best thing you’ve ever eaten, but enough that they’ve got repeat customers every day who want something simple that doesn’t cost a whole lot to make or reinvent the wheel.
In that scenario, Jimmy Johns beats turd sandwich every day of the week and twice on weekends with Pirates of the Carribean marathons (“DAVY JONES! GIANT SQUID!”)
I’m not sure if Cheryl Hines has children, but I consider her a MILF [/paradox]
The Other Boleyn Girl. Leave it to me to watch the trailers and think it’s a Kate Hudson-style rom-com where a girl steals her sister’s husband. Mrs. Fantana took me willingly and I was not prepared for the miscarriages and all the incest.
Oh sweet Lord, the incest.
Try watching this damn clip on silent. I’ve got Pandora on at work and “My Sundown” by Jimmy Eat World was playing when I saw this. It’s water-works in my office now and I’m getting tear stains all over my hipster ironic/non-ironic khakis. No lie.
Damn you children and your sweet, innocent, beautiful little hearts.
Bike, bike, bike! I’m on a BIKE! Go VEGAN! Whole Foods is corporate! I’m gonna turn, watch out, UGH, CARS man, WHY? I GET THE FULL LANE! I hope I get a sunburn…
Everyone, go see Bridesmaids! I saw a screener a few weeks ago thinking that in the herstory of herstories, I have never seen a female comedy claiming to be “as gross as men’s” that 1) lived up to the premise and 2) still held it together with a pretty good story. Bridesmaids is that movie, ladeez!
Cereally, go see it. If nothing else because Kirsten Wiig is adorbs and kinda messy-sexy (amiright fellas?) and you get to see Jon Hamm doing it vigorously for about 3 minutes (amiright EVERYONE?!)
Clear eyes. Full hearts. JJ Abrams. CAN’T.FUCKING.LOSE.
Whatever happened to Gabe (or Soft Gabe)’s promise to start doing Justified recaps? And how can we be sure we don’t miss them when it comes back next year? Can you imagine the Boyd gifs?
BTW – Between this Community episode, Justified and the kickass new trailer for “Hell on Wheels” (neo-Western) on AMC, I may buy cowboy boots. PURCHASING POWER!
Oh, you mean I should have said I’d let him put his “Hamm” in my “Jon”? (Strangely, that one may make more sense).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am as hetero as the day is vertical, but I am gaybones for Jon Hamm and I don’t care who knows it.
I would let him put his “Jon” in my “Hamm” if you know what I mean.
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like the best one? Even the music is better.
Granted, it could very well be the best piece of dogshit in the kennel of Transformers movies, but still.
I was not a fan of the flaming red unitard/uniform that ol Willy had to wear.
Quick – in five seconds or less, say his last name! You don’t know it, do you? Nobody does! [/monster who doesn't know if they announced it on the show or not]
PS – It’s not “Crindy”
I imagine Charlie Kelly’s face in your awesome avatar is what Wills should have in 2015 or so. His hair will be mostly gone and he’ll be compensating with the beard, but the joke’s on him because it rains in England ALL. THE. TIME. He’ll be ol “Wet Beard Will,” like the crazy uncle at parties who no one is sure he’s related to.
All because he had to marry this jezebel.
Terry Bradshaw: If Carolina was a napkin, we’d all be eating fire hydrants!
(all break into raucous, uncontrollable laughter at the slightest joke-slash-unintelligible gibberish that’s meant to seem like an inside joke among the best of friends, but really they’re paid professionals who only mildly stand each other)
BANTER!
Trapped in television.
Surrounded by England.
Low on dental hygiene.
Sidenote: beef wellington is delish. SERVE BEEF WELLINGTON! Welsh lamb has Ryan Leaf written all over it’s cream fraisch.
At least she’s marrying him now that he’s ugly. THE CROWN MEANS TRUE LUVS!
Don’t get me wrong: this monster thought those kids were good looking cats (COOL CATS!) back in the day, but Wills looks like he got hit with a frying pan that also removes hair compared to how he looked maybe 5 years ago.
I will be wearing my orange tuxedo and looking forward to a fine late evening/early morning of tea and strumpets.
SHIT! How did I miss this? #christmasmoviefail
Hospitals are actually zero tolerance for that shit; well the good ones anyway [/explainabrag: THIS moi-ster happens to have a desk WITH a nameplate at a big hospital in a major metro area] so I would think HR is a good bet with this. I mean, their whole job is to make sure that “humans” “relate” to each other! It sounds like your fucking ass-bag co-workers (humans) need a swift punch in the junk to shake them out of their idiocy so they can be decent “human” (human) beings and actually relate (!) to you. HUMAN RELATIONS!
Monsters make the world better.
Can we start a #fuckhumanity hashtag?
Seriously though, where do you work? Do you have HR? That sounds so terrible and you certainly need a real outlet (not that VG isn’t real) to convey these feelings. The idea that these people are basically torturing you, even though the situation may/may not apply to you is crazy at best and sadistic at worst, which is a long-winded way of saying you work with some fucking assholes who need to stuff their shitty attitudes in a sack.
As a writer who sometimes (hell, frequently) adapts that writing style, I did so as a younger/newer Monster because I saw so many others doing it and like a lemming, figured that’s what fits in around here. Groupthink, right? And I laugh when Gabe writes that way.
I guess I don’t come here for a reading of Keats or some type of highbrow English, but I can certainly say that I see where you’re coming from.