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 +39Posted on May 5th, 2011 | re: There Is No Ceiling On Gwyneth Paltrow's Awfulness (72 comments)

“There actually IS a ceiling on my awfulness. Manuel, my Glass/Light Conduit Expert just does such a great job keeping it spotless.” – Goop

 -15Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: Announcing The Starting Line-Up For Puppy Bowl VII! (98 comments)

” View Full Size” – no thanks.

 +22Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: Your Girlfriend Katherine Chloe Cahoon Is Back! (110 comments)

One thing we can all agree on…You need a fully functioning woodshop to make a book cover.

 +47Posted on Sep 13th, 2010 | re: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time (940 comments)

Surely someone else has seen this on HBO recently…
Couples Retreat, a comedy completely devoid of jokes.

Alternate caption: No one tan should have all that power.

 -6Posted on Jul 2nd, 2010 | re: Goodbye, M. Night Shyamalan (117 comments)

Man, that is a classic joke! I gotta meet this friend group!

 +5Posted on May 14th, 2010 | re: Fine, Let's Start Our Own Betty White Facebook Group (102 comments)

I am having the same problem with my ‘Get Alec Baldwin to host SNL’ group.

 +46Posted on Apr 23rd, 2010 | re: The Porno Switcheroo Archives: Disney Channel Chile (44 comments)

After she fell off her chair she was helped up by a pizza delivery guy who just happened to be in the neighborhood….with sexy results.

 +7Posted on Apr 22nd, 2010 | re: Restore Stephen Baldwin Is REAL! (122 comments)

Baldwins Will Soar

I am starting a Facebook page to make this stop.

 +8Posted on Apr 20th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Kick-Ass (142 comments)

I’m good. Thanks for asking.

 +44Posted on Apr 20th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Kick-Ass (142 comments)

First off, I could care less about Kick Ass.
Secondly, I have heard this “Ebert tweets too much” thing a few times. If you don’t like it, UNFOLLOW. The guy lost his ability to communicate verbally, so maybe we should cut him a little fucking slack if he is playing fast and loose with a new medium (where people are eating it up, by the way). He is a venerable critic who I have often disagreed with, but it is his job to give his opinion on movies. What good would it be if all of those opinions fell in line with yours.

 0Posted on Apr 15th, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game: 21: #grossmoviequoteomissions (391 comments)

Are you guys negging me? I saw ‘The Pickup Artist’, it won’t work.

 -1Posted on Apr 15th, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game: 21: #grossmoviequoteomissions (391 comments)

___________ is like a box of chocolates.

Vampire Weekend

on second thought, let’s not do city in-jokes.

Thanks, Jay. I like your new desk.

Philly Pride: Adventures at Wawa
starring: Roy Ziegler*

*joke for 5 people

 +26Posted on Apr 14th, 2010 | re: Shrek And Friends: Finally More Fuckable (41 comments)

“I like this. It plays with our expectations about the conventions of a high fashion magazine, and the characters from the movie, which in and of themselves are modern and fractured takes on the “fairytale” archetype. It lends an air of sophistication and heft to the movie without taking itself too seriously, and the juxtaposition of the waifish models and the slovenly ogres is a witty comment on glamor and identity.”
-The Ad Wizard Who Came Up With This One

“Brothers don’t shave hands, brothers gotta hug.” -Thomas Boy 1995 AD