Find Me On:
I am going to be 70s era Bruce Springsteen. ‘MERICA. BAAAACKSTREEETS. Etc.
Run and fetch that.
Oh good, now I know what punk rock is.
Silence of the Laminater
The Stapler Always Jams Twice
Gabe! Is that your great-grandson standing next to the pony?
let’s all make sure to reference whiskey in our songs, because that makes us adults.
So not-actually-having sex with people that are not married and that nobody else wants to have sex with anyways means that you need to wear a scarlet “A” for “adultery”? why not just a “W” for “what the hell”?
I just want Julie and Saracen to be together, so I can believe in love and happiness and teenage fairytale magic again. IT’S ALL I WANT, TV!
wait, there are drugs you can do that send you immediately to the set of Gossip Girl? brb monsters, callin’ my dealer.
turns out life played the real joke, when each participant contracted genital herpes.
oh, and writing a movie for Miley Cyrus? that is so Hemingway. To Have and Have Not was a vehicle for Shirley Temple, right?
nicholas sparks and james franco must be in the same book club.
“It’s like my thumb is my cock” – Wittgenstein
i’m going to get into phd programs too, after some plastic surgeries and a few roles as an angsty teen.
he writes like an actor pretending to be a writer. or, you know, a tenth grader who just discovered j.d. salinger.
Twilight vibrator sold separately.
i think that last picture shows jeremy piven realizing what an awful film he is in.
…or he’s pooping.
wait, did she just ask if they have french people that are italian?
oh snooki, you’re a national treasure! GIVE THAT LADY A SITCOM!
i can’t wait for the gosselin children to guest star! tininess and chocolate for all!
The Good Time. You know, what you have when you put on four polo shirts and POP ALL THE COLLAS!
obviously chris brown took mumbling classes with weezy.
sometimes i think that hollywood takes a poll to find out what is least necessary, then makes movies about it.
i think i detect michael bay’s fingerprints…
wait, that wasn’t the trailer for 2012?