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October 21, 2009

We Are All Just Waiting For 2012

thumbnail icon: We Are All Just Waiting For 2012

In just two short years, the world will end. We know that. California will fall into the ocean. Tidal waves will spill over the mountains of Tibet. Humanity will disappear into an Apocalyptic chasm and time as we know it will cease to exist. This is all written. But what are we supposed to do until then?! Two years will probably seem like almost nothing by the time the End of the World actually arrives, but from where I'm sitting, that's still a fair amount of time to kill. I already had a sandwich today. Now what? Watch a video of a guy placing an anvil on top of another anvil, with gunpowder layered in between, and shooting one of the anvils 200 feet into the air? I guess. But why is he doing it? I said why is he shooting the anvil 200 feet into the air? What do you mean because? It just seems kind of pointless, doesn't it? I mean, there has to be a reason besides "because."

Oh, because he too is simply passing time until the world and all of human history is swallowed into a silent nightmare of annihilation, and so until then he goes to the park and shoots anvils 200 feet into the air because what else is he going to do?

FAIR ENOUGH. Ring that bell, monk! (Via Neatorama.)

Posted by Gabe at 2:50 PM in
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33 Comments

"Why would you wanna do that?"
- That IS what she said

Posted by: RichGuy profile link at 10/21/09 2:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

"Women say "Why would you want to do that?" (...) it's just neat seeing something launch that wasn't intended to be launched, i think. "

Like Laika. YOU'RE WELCOME, LADIES.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 10/21/09 2:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Gender differences in grammar in action.

Posted by: kiljoywashere profile link  in reply to  Elliot's comment at 10/21/09 3:00 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

thanks for inadvertently rounding out my arcade fire knowledge. never understood that part of the song, but never remembered to look it up.

Posted by: spectator profile link  in reply to  Elliot's comment at 10/22/09 3:03 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"It's just neat launchin' somethin' that wasn't intended to be launched."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Posted by: Walrus Parade profile link at 10/21/09 2:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

If I had known that "World Champion Anvil Shooter" was a title that existed, I would have spent my last two years very differently. At least now I know how I'll spend my next (and last) two. Thank you, Gay Wilkinson.

Posted by: Tom Foolery profile link at 10/21/09 3:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

I'm a women and I think that's pretty cool.

Posted by: Emmylou profile link at 10/21/09 3:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

You can have your explosions. I just want an anvil-shaped legal pad.

Posted by: ladders profile link at 10/21/09 3:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

world champion anvil shooter?? good for you dude..good for you.

Posted by: chris at 10/21/09 3:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Did you not hear Keegan Hamilton of the Riverfront Times? This man is a WORLD CHAMPION ANVIL SHOOTER.
WORLD.
CHAMP. ION.
http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2009-10-21/news/aint-rocket-science-people-talk-about-joy-sex-dont-last-nothin-shootin-anvils/

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 10/21/09 3:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

This article is like, 5 pages of pure Misourrah...

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/21/09 3:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I like how Keegan obviously tried to get in a forceful last word ("And we're about to launch an anvil...") right before the pyrotechnics started going off -- and then Gay just totally brushed him aside and ruined his delivery by prattling on.

Posted by: Joe  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 10/21/09 7:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

this is what people with viewing standards miss out on when they refuse to see "sweet home alabama" with me.

Posted by: super! profile link at 10/21/09 3:16 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Gabe asks "Why is that man placing an anvil on top of another anvil, with gunpowder layered in between, and shooting one of the anvils 200 feet into the air?"

I ask "Why am I in an office reading videogum instead of in some field somewhere placing an anvil on top of another anvil, with gunpowder layered in between, and shooting one of the anvils 200 feet into the air?"

Tom Cruise asks "Why are all these gay people always placing an anvil on top of another anvil, with gunpowder layered in between, and shooting one of the anvils 200 feet into the air?"

Posted by: Apartment Tiger profile link at 10/21/09 3:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 48 Vote up Vote down

To launch them away from the gays, to safety, of course.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  Apartment Tiger's comment at 10/21/09 4:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I would like to know more about these unsung world champion title holders, is there a world champion blog reader somewhere? I would like to contest that title!

Posted by: DOCTORJOKES at 10/21/09 3:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Excerpt from Gay WIlkinson's Memoir "Diary of a World Champion Anvil Shooter" (Random House, $24.99) -- "When you have a dream, you have an obsession, you do what it takes to manifest that dream in reality. Maybe it starts with growing a beard, but that beard only serves as a constant reminder that merely looking like a world champion anvil shooter does not bring you closer to the life of accomplishment that plays before your eyes in the movie that is your dreams. After many nights interrupted,waking in a cold sweat, my mind was made up. I would take the wife and kids to Missouri..."

Posted by: Skillet profile link at 10/21/09 3:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Holy shit, maybe it's because I had pictured a much smaller "launch" in my head, but that explosion and subsequent 200 FOOT ANVIL LAUNCH AT LIKE THREE MILLION MILES AN HOUR impressed the hell out of me.

Posted by: Jon1331 profile link at 10/21/09 3:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

in 30 years, this is who my real boyfriend, a physicist who blows shit up in my basement, is going to be. i am excited!

Posted by: southernbitch profile link at 10/21/09 3:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

I am jealous! Imagine how high he will be able to launch anvils with Martian gunpowder in the hover-park in the future! Like, really high I bet! Exclamation point!

Posted by: Apartment Tiger profile link  in reply to  southernbitch's comment at 10/21/09 3:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

i would imaging that, but every time he tries to explain what he's doing, my brain pretty much shuts off and i just nod a whole bunch. so my capacity to imagine what he's going to do in 30 years is pretty much nil.

Posted by: southernbitch profile link  in reply to  Apartment Tiger's comment at 10/21/09 3:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

also on the list of things i can't do: basic verb/tense agreement.

Posted by: southernbitch profile link  in reply to  southernbitch's comment at 10/21/09 4:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

With the title and that photo, I was sure this was a new Olympic event. So much for optimism.

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 10/21/09 3:30 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Good thing Tom Cruise was busy getting ice cream with Suri. Cause you know, Gay Wilkinson.

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 10/21/09 4:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

I guess this is what Gay does in between Ernest Hemingway look-alike contests. Gotta pass the time somehow

Posted by: hellsbells53 profile link at 10/21/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

his name is gay?!?!

Posted by: El Señor con El Sombrero profile link at 10/21/09 4:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

keep this video away from richard heene please. thats if his kids havent been taken from him alrready

Posted by: b profile link at 10/21/09 5:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

At first I was merely curious, but when it launched I could not stop LOL'ing. I'm also like that with pranks.

Posted by: epic pajl profile link at 10/21/09 6:07 PM  | Reply
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Annnnd I'm moving to Missouri!

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link at 10/21/09 6:19 PM  | Reply
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i live in Kansas (DON'T HATE MONSTERS!) and i've actually seen this. it seems kind of stupid, but when the fuse is lit and the "boom" hits there's a weird satisfaction and sense of awe watching something you can barely lift yourself fly 100 feet in the air. admittedly, they did it surrounded by tons of fireworks...so it's just a little something extra...but still.

Posted by: practicallyinformation profile link  in reply to  Napoleon Complex's comment at 10/22/09 9:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Since the world is ending December 12th 2012, i think we should get to have Christmas a few weeks early, I mean c'mon guys, thats a no duh

Posted by: The Smartest House profile link at 10/21/09 8:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

This is only newsworthy if a child is allegedly hiding in the anvil 200 feet in the air.

Posted by: Walter Kovacs profile link at 10/22/09 12:44 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

This is stupid. Everyone knows the Roadrunner can't fly.

Posted by: Paperback Rioter profile link at 10/22/09 3:44 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

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