In just two short years, the world will end. We know that. California will fall into the ocean. Tidal waves will spill over the mountains of Tibet. Humanity will disappear into an Apocalyptic chasm and time as we know it will cease to exist. This is all written. But what are we supposed to do until then?! Two years will probably seem like almost nothing by the time the End of the World actually arrives, but from where I'm sitting, that's still a fair amount of time to kill. I already had a sandwich today. Now what? Watch a video of a guy placing an anvil on top of another anvil, with gunpowder layered in between, and shooting one of the anvils 200 feet into the air? I guess. But why is he doing it? I said why is he shooting the anvil 200 feet into the air? What do you mean because? It just seems kind of pointless, doesn't it? I mean, there has to be a reason besides "because."
Oh, because he too is simply passing time until the world and all of human history is swallowed into a silent nightmare of annihilation, and so until then he goes to the park and shoots anvils 200 feet into the air because what else is he going to do?
Remember the California Raisin Facepaint guy from ancient earlier this afternoon? Of course you remember him, because you date him, and he is your boyfriend, and one day maybe he will put a ring on that finger. But it turns out that he has TONS of these videos, featuring all variety of TERRIFYING face inventions. You knew that, obviously, since it's his private passion, and it was one of those quirks you had to get used to early in the relationship. "We each have our sides of the bed. He goes straight for the Sports section and I read the Sunday Styles. And of course there is the horrific use of creative face paint for living nightmare YouTube videos recorded in the basement." Love = compromise.
But for the rest of us, this is news. Terrible, upsetting, eye-breaking news. So many videos. Something for everyone, really. To run away from. In mortal terror.
It's hard out there! I know it's hard out there. This guy knows it's hard out there. If it's not one thing, it's another. You just have to keep your head down, and do whatever it takes to get through the day. For some people that means unwinding after a day at the office with a nice scotch and an episode of Ice Road Truckers. ("I'm just so excited to find out if they drive that truck successfully over that ice!") For some people it's taking a pottery class at the local community center, or swing dance lessons with a teacher you found on craigslist who smells like alcohol and plastic. It's like T.I. said before he went to prison for attempting to purchase machine guns with silencers on them: you can have whatever you like! (Except machine guns with silencers on them.)
One thing that American furries have never understood is that there needs to be some kind of balance between the soft, sensual fur that we all recognize as being a totally normal facet of human sexuality (or whatever being a furry is about. Dancing?) and natural, animalistic mobility. Does the sleek and beautiful leopard have trouble with his pants draping over and then under his feet, tripping him up? Does the graceful, sexy panda have to keep readjusting her head so it doesn't fall off? For the latest in furry technology, combining the STEAMY sexuality of an animal costume with the LIFELIKE freedom of movement, we look to Russia, where WinFoxi has combined a stunning fox head with a pared-down, but still completely fur-covered bodysuit.
As you can see (after the jump), WinFoxi enjoys the unbridled freedom of dressing up like a forest creature without the limitations of so many of the modern furry's physical constraints:
It's a difficult world we live in! Even if you do manage to carve out some small corner of your own somewhere, where you can be yourself and enjoy your life, there's someone waiting just on the other side of the door with an axe and a bullhorn. He is going to shout in your face and tear your house down! You know how the world is. It's important to fight for what you want, because you are rarely allowed to just have it. Defend your home. Ignore the "haters." It's no one else's life! Who is anyone to say anything! Go for it!
All of that being said, when your tiny corner of genuine happiness involves dressing up like Sailor Moon and playing frantic nightmare videogame bass in between drinking glasses of milk, and then posting videos of all of this to YouTube because extroversion is part of it, the harder of a row you are going to have to hoe. But hoe away!
This is the story of two adult human beings who are into BOTH the furry/plushie fetish AND the infantalism/diaper fetish.They need Microsoft Excel 97 just to keep everything straight! This is safe for work, but I rejected it a few weeks ago as being too weird and creepy for this fine upstanding site. So here it is today! I can't decide which creeps me out more: not being able to tell the gender of the diaper bunny, the fact that the guy behind the camera sounds like Brian Posehn from The Sarah Silverman Program and Mr. Show, or this couple's demonstrated interest in Art Of The Twenties. I bet Salvador Dali is their favorite!
There's such a thing as an Inuit fur costume. Can something be so utterly ridiculous that it passes over being racist and enters a post-race realm of universally agreed-upon absurdity? If so, this guy trapped in an Inuit fur suit has done his part to Solve Racism:
lindsay: is everyone on youtube that we think is a pervert actually a pervert?
gabe: yes
gabe: wait, who?
lindsay: it can't be!
gabe: that old dude?
gabe: your boyfriend?
lindsay: well, remember the halcyon days of tuesday
lindsay: when we thought the creepy old man was a man with a sense of humor about his face and that he was a gift to us from the internet
lindsay: and then we found out he's on the sexual offender list?
gabe: right
lindsay: and, apparently, he breastfeeds his dog with his stomach? (WARNING, this is terrible!!):
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