Videogum Home - designed by Guilherme Rosa

 

June 5, 2008

You Can Make It Up: Werner Herzog Watches An Episode Of The Hills

Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

"What is this? You cannot be serious with this. These girls. These are robot girls? What types of girls are these? One time in the Amazon I saw a woman carrying her baby in a pouch she had slung across her chest, and in one hand she held a bible and in the other hand she held a machete, and she was using the machete to slaughter an old man on the edge of the river. That is how I would wish to die. Do these girls understand death? You cannot understand it by spending so much time at outdoor bistros. There are no shoe shops in hell.

Who will take responsibility for these images? Each image must have a creator, but no one can own an image. It becomes its own entity. It breathes with the fire of life. Why is that girl always on the phone? Is she talking to God? Chit chat chit chat like a little creature in a tree. One time I was in a tree, living in it because I wanted to get a new perspective and I was drinking alcohol that I had made myself in a tin pail and I was momentarily blinded, actually blind, nothing but blackness all around me, and I am in this tree with no escape, and it was at that moment when I was truly free because I knew that—Her eyes are very empty, yes? You see how she confronts the man at the night club but her eyes remain dead? But she looks very realistic for a robot girl. A magic girl. Angry magic.

I wanted to know the truth of obsession, to capture the point at which a human mind breaks. It is harder to find than you might think. We all walk the line between sanity and insanity, but to capture that line for the world to see, that is the trick. Pass me those Doritos chips.

Why are the two robot girls always fighting? The blonde one has no soul. I could make a film of her, just her in a room, sitting in a chair, confronted. Her and the man with the silly beard in a room until they tore each other apart and revealed their mechanics. It would be exhilarating to see this, but also sad. We would ourselves be confronted by what is inside us, which is not so different from these robot girls with their robot hearts. I have seen enough of this, how long have we been watching this? Five minutes is long enough. Let us just sit in the dark for awhile and not speak."

Posted by Gabe at 6:00 PM in
Tags:  |




3 Comments

Painful, ghey, excrutiating.

Posted by: Reed at 06/05/08 6:53 PM  | Reply
Score = -5 Vote up Vote down

I read the Werenor Herzog is remaking Bad Lieutenant with Nicholas Cage in the lead....that's going to suck.

Posted by: Matthew profile link at 06/05/08 11:23 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

that was my favourite one so far

Posted by: john at 06/24/08 1:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Leave a comment


Staff

  • Founder/Editor-In-Chief: Scott Lapatine
  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
  • Executive Editor: Amrit Singh

Info

Contact

You Can Make It Up logo
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: People Tell Carrie Prejean What An Asshole She Is

Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...

MORE »

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time logo
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: In The Land Of The Women

If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...

MORE »

Monsters' Ball logo
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...

MORE »

Double Dog logo
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.

Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A "Just Jack" Tshirt

The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...

MORE »

Videogum Movie Club logo
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.

The Videogum Movie Club: 2012

Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....

MORE »