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September 11, 2009

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Reality TV Destroys Lives

thumbnail icon: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Reality TV Destroys Lives

It's very hard to have sympathy for people on reality TV because it's 2009, and we all know what the rules are at this point. Perhaps in an earlier time, let's say in a pre-Joe Millionaire world, it might have been possible for someone to join the cast of a reality TV show with the hopes of getting some mild celebrity based on their merit and natural human charm. But not anymore. We know, now, that if you go on reality TV you are going to be edited into a racist narcissist who will fuck anything. Or some variation on a racist narcissist who will fuck anything. Reality TV is built on a foundation of abject humiliation. What's most interesting is the fact that it doesn't stop people from going on reality TV. Now that people know how it works, they don't seem any more inclined to preserve their dignity. I WILL EAT MY OWN FARTS, JUST GET ME ON THAT TV!

But it is so dangerous! Be careful, America!

It is being reported today that Camille from NYC Prep has been asked not to return to her private school this fall. Oh jeez! I mean, Camille was one of the most awful people on that show, with her pretentious SAT vocabulary (I don't mean that she knew a lot of big words, I mean that she talked about the SAT a lot) and her faux-refined air of class and sophistication as if those things came complimentary with tea at the Plaza. Sorry, Camille, but everyone is allowed to drink tea at the Plaza now. And also you are 16. What you don't know about class and sophistication could fill a Sotheby's Auction House.

NEVERTHELESS, she was legitimately a child. She made a grave mistake by going on that show, duh, but it was a mistake that could have been easily avoided. BY ADULTS NEVER HAVING MADE THE SHOW IN THE FIRST PLACE. One of the grown ups responsible for that show, and I am mostly just talking about Andy Cohen, should publicly apologize. And by publicly apologize, of course, I mean spend years in prison. "Apology accepted!"

Shameful. You know what to do, Bravo.

Meanwhile, in Turkey, nine women have been rescued from a fake reality TV show where they were being held captive against their will and forced to exercise in swimsuits for perverts on the Internet.

IS THE WHOLE WORLD'S HEAD IN A YOGURT CUP?

Enough. Shut it down. Shut it all down.

Posted by Gabe at 2:50 PM in , , ,
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22 Comments

Richard Simmons is in Turkey?

Posted by: TheJesusCodpiece profile link at 09/11/09 2:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Yeah but the high school kids on Laguna Beach were legitimately children (U-18) and look how well they've turned out.

Posted by: Ron Jenkins profile link at 09/11/09 3:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Wait, so why is this blog post about somebody I've never heard of on some show I will never watch when there is that absolutely crazy fake reality TV story. I'm not a professional blogger, and I don't want to rip the proverbial dick from your mouth, but that seems like the real story there.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link at 09/11/09 3:04 PM  | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down

So either more was added to this post (not likely) or I didn't read the whole thing even though I thought I did because I am a moron (very likely).

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  hlebtastic's comment at 09/11/09 3:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

The sad part about all of this is that you forgot a very important tag, one which will ensure that reality TV will never be shut down.


"What America Wants"

Posted by: The Life of the Mind profile link at 09/11/09 3:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Never Forget, you guys!

Posted by: Huh? profile link at 09/11/09 3:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

maybe i'm super lame but i find posting this guy's photo to be in really bad taste

Posted by: thebigm profile link  in reply to  Huh?'s comment at 09/11/09 8:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I was just in Turkey. The club scene there is crazy. I am so thankful that I was born into a rich family! I caught a few episodes of Turkish Swimsuit Excercise as part of the live studio audience. It was okay but I have seen better ; )

Posted by: Freckles at 09/11/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
Score = -13 Vote up Vote down

What the hell, and stop winking at me.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link  in reply to  Freckles's comment at 09/11/09 3:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down

Ahhh, Gabe. You thing, you. Linking to Honor Suicide. Lots of Love here. Lots of Love.

Posted by: Blondie profile link at 09/11/09 3:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Yesterday, as im at a training seminar for work... there were at least 10 of the 16 people there who could not stop talking about Big Brother 56, or whatever...

Come on people!!! Reality TV is what is wrong in the world today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLEK0UZH4cs

Posted by: j0shsm1th profile link at 09/11/09 3:10 PM  | Reply
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I read that PC was asked never to have interaction with another human being for at least 15 years or until he wears 50% less eyeliner

Posted by: HarshBrowns profile link at 09/11/09 3:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Look... I'm just here to enjoy God's creation and Pokemon... knock it off with all the negativity.

Posted by: Professor Push-Ups profile link at 09/11/09 3:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

:41 to :45-- nice to see the AP is still synonymous with "class."

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 09/11/09 3:35 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

in 20 years the "where are they now: nyc prep" is going to be a veritable schadenfreude bonanza.

Posted by: southernbitch profile link at 09/11/09 4:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"veritable schadenfreude bonanza" is the name of my new band. we do covers of reality tv theme songs.

Posted by: tibmalian profile link  in reply to  southernbitch's comment at 09/11/09 4:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

you should make this be your bands t-shirt design:
bm

Posted by: southernbitch profile link  in reply to  tibmalian's comment at 09/11/09 4:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Done. Also you're now the manager of the band so start getting us gigs on I Love Money Bus of Atlanta Prep

Posted by: tibmalian profile link  in reply to  southernbitch's comment at 09/11/09 5:42 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

This guy (aka, your boyfriend) was the casting director. Who wouldn't sign up after he called?

Posted by: RichGuy profile link at 09/11/09 4:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

The thing about Camille? Meh. There are other pretentious prep schools.

The story about those girls in Turkey? Jesus Christ! It really makes me think I should be putting more money towards that suicide machine I have on layaway.

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link at 09/11/09 5:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Does anyone know when Turkish Prison Villa: Cycle 1 comes out on DVD in NTSC?? I downloaded torrents but I want to watch it in 720p.

Posted by: Graham profile link at 09/11/09 6:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I always thought that guy in your avatar was Chris Brown, but now I see it's not. Whoa.

Posted by: toomuchpizzahut at 09/11/09 10:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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