Dustin Diamond Is Our Generation's World Trade Center
The cover of this week's People magazine features the Saved by the Bell reunion photo of our hopes and dreams. Or at least of someone's hopes and dreams. Personally I do not understand the Saved by the Bell reunion fever of 2009.
"We're trying to put together a Saved by the Bell reunion."
"Why?"
"To see what they look like now, and what they are all up to!"
"Let me guess: older and not much."
"Isn't it exciting?"
But UH OH, Dustin Diamond is having no part of this! The world remains without a complete cast reunion of Saved by the Bell! What will the world do? (Relax, world.) Actually, I think it's better that he's not involved because I L.O.V.E. how they have dealt with it: by digitally erasing Dustin Diamond from the "before" cast photo. Consistent! There are two instances in which America has not been able to handle the past, and so the past has been revised: the graveyard scene in Zoolander, and the Saved by the Bell reunion cover of People magazine.
"You can't handle the truth!"
--America's Tombstone
(Via Dlisted. Click through for larger image.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:30 PM in Where Are They Now?
Tags: Dennis Haskins | Dustin Diamond | Elizabeth Berkley | Lark Voorhies | Mario Lopez | Mark-Paul Gosselaar | Saved By The Bell | Tiffani Thiessen
They just couldn't pry him away from his Halloween figurines long enough to get a good picture.
Score = 2
Screech was the worst part of that show (masterpiece). I wish I could go back and digitally erase him from my brain. 'Member when he ruined Lisa's fashion show? UGH Screech!
Score = 16
No matter what downer you put on this fictional high school reunion, Michael Jackson still seems to be enjoying looking at them.
Score = 21
SHOWGIRLS!
Score = 4
Dustin Diamond is way too busy with his stand-up career and debunking the "he's Mike D's brother" myth for him to take part in this reunion.
Score = 4
More like too busy videotaping sextapes featuring dirty sanchez's and a penis nobody ever wanted to see.
Score = 6
I guess if they included that doughy, spittle-flecked mutant Mr. Bleding, there'd be too many cancelled subscriptions. He was probably still passed out at the karaoke bar anyway.
Score = 4
I hate myself a little for knowing this, but I am pretty sure the others only agreed to do it if Screech and Mr. Belding were not included. See: here.
Score = 9
Why Mr. Belding? Was he behind the scenes rape-y? Is there an E! True Hollywood Story that explains this?
Score = 7
Maybe the ladies thought they may be powerless against his raw sexual energy? Like these girls. Yes, that's definitely the reason.
Score = 2
I demand a unicorn chaser for that link.
Score = 1
Well between Screech's sex tape and Mr. Belding's depressing voicemail-message-for-hire, they've both basically hit the cesspool of celebrity. The rest of the cast has, surprisingly, been able to avoid such humiliating situations (besides maybe Showgirls and Mario Lopez's friendship with Sleeze King Joe Francis). Those two seem to be a little too pathetic, yes, even for the former cast of Saved By The Bell. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if both Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins have peddled pathetic Saved By The Bell tell-alls (because that has to be an option before the Dirty Sanchez, doesn't it?).
Score = 3
Oh man, I love it when you use the Dennis Haskins tag.
Score = 2
A Saved by the Bell reunion without Screech is like MVEMJSNUP without Pluto!
Score = 7
He's obvi too busy watching Adult Swim cartoons and giving chicks fisheyes.
Score = 7
This is reminiscent of the time that People magazine air brushed out the crude oil down on Bayside High’s football field to save the ducks. Much to Belding’s chagrin.
Score = 2
Check out Lisa flashing a gang sign in the before photo. I forgot how edgey this show was.
Score = 11
I totally respect his decision. It's like when Leonardo Dicaprio didn't want to be a part of that "Growing Pains" retrospective. When your career evolves and reaches a certain point-- oh wait.
Score = 11
FRIENDS FOREVER.
Score = 8
You can still see his shadow in that picture - true photoshop mastery. They coulda put something in there to distract the eye - my computer nerd eye.
Score = 3
friends live forever for mannequins, by Brains:
the years go by, and we live our lives
and we live and some die but some live.
and we shed mannequin tears for the mannequin years
now long passed by.
"Brains. where did the time go,
as you stood on the showroom floor?"
but time doesn't apply to mannequins,
it stands still, like mannequins,
because we are made of wood.
but does life not come from the same earth that gives wood? (TWSS)
and really aren't we all the same?
Fin.
Score = 1
Lakehouse it.
Score = 4
Eh, they just cropped him out. They definitely photoshopped Mr. Belding into the DVD packaging of Season 3/4, though.
http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/culture/gallery/2008/oct/23/television/GD9313440@No-Merchandising_1-3554.jpg
Score = 1
I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so . . . SCARED!
Score = 7
Screech addresses the real reason why everyone hates nerds. Because they all grow up to be horrible, horrible people.
Score = 2
I am still reeling that George Clooney didn't come back for the finale of E.R. Now I have to deal with this?
Score = 2
Gabe, not even your bitter sarcasm could ruin what a great moment this is for me. Go, Bayside Tigers, go! (But none for Screech, bye.)
Score = 2
I saw Screech a few months ago at a hibachi restaurant in milwaukee. (not a joke). And I can tell you what he's been busy doing.... getting FAT. like real FAT. and that my friends, is a true story.
Score = 1
Isn't our generation's World Trade Center the World Trade Center?
Score = 5
Darn, they all look so good. I hate pretty people!!!! [/bitterness]
Well, this is it. I'm buying People magazine this week!
Score = 0
Damn -- they cut Screetch out of both pics! Like he didn't even exist! MAn....now THAT'S how you snub someone! That is so cold. LMAO! Kind sad but I understand. W/everything he's been doing and saying I wouldn't have wanted to deal w/his a** either. It's one thing to be a d*ck in character, but not in real life, dude. Wonder if them not liking Dustin is a recent thing... It'd be pretty sad if they never liked the guy. That's telling, though. If NO ONE liked you... Usually when 'everyone' doesn't like you...you're the problem. Wonder if that's why he didn't think twice about puttin out some tell-all to sell em all down the river? LOL Anyway I can understand snubbin Dustin-- but Mr Belding. What'd he do?
Score = -1