Ted Danson Was The Original Pick-Up Artist
Ted Danson! You're giving away all of our secrets! What a traitor! President Mystery, throw him in Guy Jail!
What is that book he's reading from, anyway? The Big Book Of Boringest Things You Can Think of to Say to Someone? "Are you tired? Because I'm attracted to you all day." That's page three of his book. Of course, things were simpler back then. It was easy to peacock by just sitting in an easy chair like a sissy about to enjoy a cup of tea and some neighborhood gossip. "Ooh, what's his story?" When you wanted to bounce a target out of a three-set to a second location, you just kino-escalated by pointing your laser tag gun at her chest plate and inviting her to buy you an ice cold Tab. Now, of course, you need a welder's mask and a shirt soaked in blood to even get a girl's attention. (Via EverythingIsTerrible, obviously.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in Where Were They Then?
Tags: Sex | Ted Danson | The Pick Up Artist
You mock, but the dude bagged Whoopi Goldberg.
Score = 20
I think it was his Cosby sweater that closed that deal.
Score = 4
Using a chair: You are doing it terribly.
Score = 18
This would really only work if he were in blackface.
Score = 6
he forgot "smell this rag, it's smells like cherries" and the clincher, "what are we gonna do bout this?"
Score = 4
I just yell "Norm!"
Score = 3
This piece of gum is heaven.
Score = 1
sexy socks
Score = 3
Hah, this is a clip from a VHS my sister found in the $2 bin at our old video store called "How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?" It's an old PSA meant to teach teenagers about sex, etc. Jason Bateman's there too. The whole video is hilarious. Here it is on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4e8DKxNTbw
Score = 9
i was unable to pull out of this video in time.
Score = 11
This is one of the few things from EIT that I've actually seen. My friend worked in a video store that had this. There is an awful lot of singing, Ted Danson being creepy, and Jason and Justine Bateman being creepy.
Score = 0
Yikes - I forgot how scary Ted Danson looked when he was "young." Like some kind of Ron Perlman Beauty and the Beast/Hellboy mashup.
Score = 2
i guess telling your friend's wife who really masturbated on their blanket is actually a pickup line
Score = -1
He will always be the pedophile father in "Something About Amelia" to me. That and the dead, drowned zombie from "Creepshow". I heart the 80's.
Score = -1
Oh Crap! What's he talking about "A guy can only go two days without having sex"? I'm so scared. Please, someone help me!
That's the best pick up line I could come up with.
Score = 0
Ted Danson is on my list. Anyone who knows me IRL would know exactly what I mean when I say that, but for the benefit of everyone on here, I'm talking about my list of guys I would totally have a crush on if I were gay.
Score = 0