Duh Aficionado Magazine: Michael Bay Belongs In Jail
For so many reasons. But also for this reason: Megan Fox tells the story of their first meeting (via FilmDrunk):
The first time I ever met him, I was 15, and I was an extra on Bad Boys 2. We were shooting this club scene, and they brought me in, and I was wearing a stars and stripes bikini and a red cowboy hat, and six-inch heels. And they took me to Mike and he approved it. And they said, 'You know, Michael, she's 15, so you can't sit her at the bar and she can't have a drink in her hand.' So his solution to that problem was to then have me dancing underneath a waterfall getting soaking wet. And that's... At 15 and I was in tenth grade. So that's sort of a microcosm of how Bay's mind works.
Oh jeez. "He approved it" is the new grossest sentence. This whole story is like Capturing the Friedmans, but with less horrifying psychic trauma and unanswered questions ripping a family apart from the inside, and more 'SPLOSIONS.
Video evidence after the jump, in the event that you would also like to go to jail.
Yup. It happened. They're all yours, Warden.
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in Where Were They Then?
Tags: Bad Boys 2 | Child Pornography | Jail | Megan Fox | Michael Bay
Ew. I don't care how smoking Megan Fox is. A fifteen year old looks like a fucking fifteen year old.
Score = 18
And even if they look 21 (or 35), they're still 15.
Score = 30
anyone who thinks megan fox is actually 23 or whatever she says (making her 15 in bad boys 2) is so fucking naive its unbelievable. all actresses lie about their by at least 3 years and anyone who's had a good hard look at her make-up caked mug knows she's hiding a 30 years face underneath all that. michael bay may be a dispicable human being for many reasons, but this story aint one of them. this is PR trying to cover how a "15 year old" was dancing in a scene like that. grow up, kiddies.
Score = -17
Ehhhhh, I chalk up MF's appearance to the fact that she's had some work done on her face and that her make-up gun's always set on Whore. I wouldn't be shocked if she were actually 25 or 26, but she's certainly not older than 30.
But yeah, the story is a little weird. Why is it that a 15-year-old sitting at a bar with a (presumably non-alcoholic) drink is unacceptable, but a 15-year-old dancing underneath a waterfall in a bikini and stripper heels is dandy?
P.S. Regardless of the validity of this, Michael Bay is still a sexist, racist piece of frat boy shit and I'm glad Megan Fox is making sure everyone knows.
Score = 21
I'm sure it's great publicity for her to tell everyone that he's a piece of shit and share this banter with him, but if she's doing it for other reasons, my God I think I might love her a little bit. It's like one of Paltrow's kids complaining about her parenting(Obviously it's not as amazing as that would be, but you know what I mean. How long until Apple and Moses can talk?)
Score = 0
Celebrities can't lie about their ages anymore, people's birth certificates are in the public record.
Score = 0
anyone who thinks megan fox is actually 23 or whatever she says (making her 15 in bad boys 2) is so fucking naive its unbelievable. all actresses lie about their age by at least 3 years and anyone who's had a good hard look at her make-up caked mug knows she's hiding a 30 years face underneath all that. michael bay may be a dispicable human being for many reasons, but this story aint one of them. this is PR trying to cover how a "15 year old" was dancing in a scene like that. grow up, kiddies.
Score = -13
Every time I look at Megan Fox I get the weird sensation THAT SHE WILL EAT MY SOUL.
Score = 23
blame it on diablo cody
Score = 7
What the fuck is happening in that clip? Is Megan Fox even there? I think I'm epileptic now.
Score = 48
SOMEONE GET A SPOON
Score = 12
Shit just got real.
Score = 31
Real barfy!
Score = 16
Megan Fox isn't that attractive. Her face is empty, like a cow's.
Score = 40
She also has a four-chambered stomach, which is a real turn-on.
Score = 57
Omitted from this interview is the scene in Michael Bay's trailer and the phrase "How'd you like to be a star?".
Score = 22
michael bay APPROVED boners all over this land (i'm just going to walk into my cell now. solitary confinement).
capturing the friedman's was FUCKED UP! for the record...
ps - someone's daughter.
Score = 34
Far be it from me to question the inner workings of Megan Fox's mind (or Michael Bay's, for that matter, dear god!), but how exactly was her sitting at a bar in a bikini going to work?
Not only does Hollywood most definitely not care whether the ACTORS who are ACTING like they are drinking are 21 or not, but this story sounds a lot less like a true story about how she couldn't sit at a bar because she was 15, and a lot more like a trumped up "this is how Michael Bay thinks, teehee" vignette meant to stroke his perverted ego. And guess what, she knows the man, because I'm sure he's loving this addition to his legend.
Score = 8
Now I want to hand her a rose, if only to say "here is a small token, meant towards making up for the fact that Michael Bay essentially made you perform that scene from True Lies at age 15."
Score = 9
Megan Fox says Michael Bay's movies are full of bad acting, and he retaliates by saying she's a dumb kid who should keep her mouth shut. So Megan comes back with the story that Bay is a pederast and has video proof. I don't like her, but Megan Fox is totally winning. (Douche vs. turd? Maybe, but Michael Bay is a -- and I think this the scientific term -- megasuperturd. So go, douche, go!)
Score = 39
Isn't the bigger story here that Megan Fox almost correctly used "microcosm" in a sentence?
Score = 47
It's correctly used, but kind of awkwardly, no?
Score = 4
"Excuse me sir, why don't you have a seat?...What is this movie you're filming today?"
Score = 12
michael bay needs to put down the iced tea, lemonade, and cookies and not even THINK about running from the cops once he crosses that threshold.
he's just making an ass of himself for all eternity if he does.
Score = 42
Why don't you take a seat right over there?
Score = 6
He can keep the towel.
Score = 3
Longtime believer that Michael Bay should be in douchejail. But, um, so WHO showed up wearing a stars & stripes bikini (gross), and 6" heels? At 15? And she's somehow surprised that they used her in the film as boner material? Why weren't you in SCHOOL, young lady???
Score = 24
She thought she was auditioning for a film about the life of Susan B. Anthony.
Megan Fox did not go to a good school.
Score = 39
Megan Fox went to the Fleiss School for Gifted Youngsters.
Score = 1
ktm5194 (19 hours ago) 0 Reply | Spam
you'd be surprised how sexual some 15 year olds are
calbum08 (1 day ago) 0 Reply | Spam
so sexual for a 15 year old
argh
Score = 6
i have to say, this ongoing war of words between Fox and Bay has me despising Megan Fox just a little bit less each day.......
Score = 15
Listen, I'm not one to ever turn down an opportunity to make fun of Michael Bay, but can't we like also blame Megan Fox's parents. Michael Bay may have approved it, but it was Megan Fox's parents that double-approved it!
Also, why did she even need to wear a bikini? You only see her head for 1 second in the scene!
Score = 17
The little brown bear, with the camera inside...
Score = 0
Yeah, he's a sick sexist fuck, but she did it, and her parents allowed it, probably because she got paid like $100 bucks or something with the promise of more, plus she liked the attention, and that right there is Megan Fox in a nutshell.
Score = 2
wow, that was some gwenyth paltrow-like name dropping skills with the totally unnecessary capturing the friedmans nod. you've seen a good documentary, gabe. congratufuckinglations, dude. next time keep it to yourself and use an analogy that has some relevance to what youre writing about, tube top.
Score = -21
Relax, Michael Bay.
Score = 12
rabble rabble rabble, GABE RABBLL RABBLE!!!!! you are good at to make me angry for the make good movie films I love with the megan fox in them by writing the thing you wrote on the internet in that one analogy! I AM PISSED FOR THIS!!!
Score = 4
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmbody is having regrets about blowing a film director a few years back. Looks like Bay kept his part of the bargain, though. Class acts all around
Score = 4
Anyone notice the camera as it zooms between the girl's legs and bounces off her panties? That, is Michael Bay. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the State rests.
Score = 4
Send Michael Bay to Jail ! INDEED!!!! He has a cock and two working balls! Lock him up! Throw away that key!!!
Score = -9
How dare he take advantage of a 15 year-old girl incapable of making rational decisions like dating Brian Austin Green, getting breast implants, and starring in a Diablo Cody movie?
Score = 7
I'm afraid to comment, because doing so would mean that Gabe has now forced me to defend both Michael Bay and McG, but here we go:
As much of a control freak as he seems to be, I doubt Michael Bay personally casts or chooses wardrobe for extras who appear for mere seconds in a club scene. The outfit he approved was tasteless, but it fit the mood he was trying to set. I'm really not clear on what you think an appropriate response from Bay would have been. Should he have stopped the shoot in outrage at a young girl's loss of innocence in the Hollywood machine, or should he have just immediately fired her? Frankly, Megan Fox should feel incredibly lucky that when Bay found out that her age was interfering with his blocking of a scene, he didn't immediately have her replaced. As it is, considering that he was responsible for every visual element in this $130 million piece of shit action movie, I'm guessing he was more concerned with figuring out new ways to maneuver a crane around Will Smith's ego than with his casting director's choice to hire some skanky jailbait for an epileptic's nightmare of a club scene.
Thank you, Gabe. Let's see if you can make me defend Gwyneth Paltrow tomorrow.
Score = 0