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November 3, 2009

The Berenstain Bears: The Movie Speaking of children's movies, Hollywood has greenlit The Berenstain Bears: The Movie. Hopefully they go Where the Wild Things Are with it, and make it really dark and sad. Children crying. Nightmares.

Posted at 2:15 PM in
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43 Comments

I heard they're basing it on this book:


Posted by: werttrew profile link at 11/03/09 2:21 PM  | Reply
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My childhood is turning over in its grave.

Posted by: Jesseca! profile link at 11/03/09 2:22 PM  | Reply
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If anyone touches the Little House on the Prairie series, by god, I will impotently stamp my foot and turn an alarming fuchsia color.

What it lacks in drama, it makes up for in accuracy.

Posted by: lilbobbytables profile link at 11/03/09 2:26 PM  | Reply
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Little House on the Prairie? Go drink your prune juice, grandma!

I'm just teasing, I do enjoy watching Little House on the Prairie at times.

Posted by: Hopper profile link  in reply to  lilbobbytables's comment at 11/03/09 2:37 PM  | Reply
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I'm sorry, sonny, you'll have to type louder. I left my ear trumpet in my other Model-T.

Posted by: lilbobbytables profile link  in reply to  Hopper's comment at 11/03/09 2:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

HARHAR! You gots me doin da roflcopter!

Posted by: Hopper profile link  in reply to  lilbobbytables's comment at 11/03/09 10:49 PM  | Reply
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Berenstein Bears and the no good nasty production company!

Posted by: Fizz profile link at 11/03/09 2:27 PM  | Reply
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Why did they spell it "Berenstain"? I always hated that, even before I was aware of the difference in pronunciation between "stein" and "stien."

Posted by: meaverly profile link at 11/03/09 2:36 PM  | Reply
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You misspelled Berenstein.

Posted by: ModestAlfred profile link  in reply to  meaverly's comment at 11/03/09 2:36 PM  | Reply
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It actually should be Berenstain. Gabe misspelled it.

Posted by: Superglue profile link  in reply to  ModestAlfred's comment at 11/03/09 2:37 PM  | Reply
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GUYS, IT'S SPELLED BEARENSTAIN.
You can all stop fighting now, because I got it so right.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link  in reply to  Superglue's comment at 11/03/09 2:55 PM  | Reply
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Whatever. Sounds like a bunch of Jew bears to me.

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link  in reply to  Funtastik's comment at 11/03/09 4:19 PM  | Reply
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It's actually "Berenstain". Gabe got it wrong.

Posted by: ber profile link  in reply to  ModestAlfred's comment at 11/03/09 2:38 PM  | Reply
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I think this is the yiddish version, OY

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  ber's comment at 11/03/09 2:41 PM  | Reply
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I did not see this!

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 11/03/09 4:20 PM  | Reply
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Because that's the authors' last name.

Posted by: Gobblegirl profile link  in reply to  meaverly's comment at 11/03/09 3:45 PM  | Reply
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I know this is the correct answer, but I want to downvote it for being boring. I won't. But I want to.

Posted by: tanaise profile link  in reply to  Gobblegirl's comment at 11/03/09 5:42 PM  | Reply
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I have been corrected! I apologize for my smarmy, nitpicky comment! You were right the whole time!

Posted by: ModestAlfred profile link  in reply to  meaverly's comment at 11/03/09 6:46 PM  | Reply
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this is very ;-( for me, having honed my skills on the B Bears (amongst others). i will see this on piratewarez.org.fiz/theftplace when it comes out, though... just to see what they fucked up

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 11/03/09 2:39 PM  | Reply
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If Brother & Sister bear aren't 3-D CGI & rapping in the vicinity of David Cross, then I'm not interested.

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 11/03/09 2:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

Your wish may see the light of day...
will be a mix of live-action and computer animation.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  kiss the pan's comment at 11/03/09 2:50 PM  | Reply
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So can we safely assume that the success of WTWTA (Wild things 2 -Wild Thingier) has brought this upon us?

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 11/03/09 2:51 PM  | Reply
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I figured it would be CGI, but I just wanted them to rap near one of my favorite comedians that I once had respect for. I'd also settle for Bob Odenkirk, but he would have to rap too.

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 11/03/09 3:06 PM  | Reply
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This news is turning me inside outside upside down.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 11/03/09 2:45 PM  | Reply
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Urban Outfitters better get going on those graphic t's.

Posted by: huckabeast profile link at 11/03/09 2:46 PM  | Reply
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If this brings back the Berenstain Bears happy meal toys, then I will be a happy camper. Those toys were so legit with superior quality. I liked when the Bears attached the my GI Joes because they were hungry.

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link at 11/03/09 2:53 PM  | Reply
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see: Papa Bear's hands could easily hold Storm Shadow's sword.

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link  in reply to  bingo gas station's comment at 11/03/09 2:58 PM  | Reply
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i think as long as Bill Watterson doesn't let the Calvin & Hobbes movie get made we'll all be ok.

Posted by: HarshBrowns profile link at 11/03/09 2:54 PM  | Reply
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oh god. I hope whoever is in charge of making movies never reads what you just wrote. If they made a Calvin & Hobbes movie... well, I'd have to find out where we keep all our chainsaws.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link  in reply to  HarshBrowns's comment at 11/03/09 3:06 PM  | Reply
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WORD, fellow Calvin & Hobbes avatar haver. Starring Abigail Breslin as Susie! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link  in reply to  kathleen11's comment at 11/03/09 3:30 PM  | Reply
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Bat barf all over the place.
I can't imagine how they'd get Calvin or Hobbes' voice right. I only have a vague idea of what they sound like in my head but no matter who they'd cast, it'd be wrong.
Also, BOINK to your ZAP.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link  in reply to  kiss the pan's comment at 11/03/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
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You don't think Topher would make a perfect Calvin? Poll time!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  kathleen11's comment at 11/03/09 3:41 PM  | Reply
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Topher is Hobbes!

Posted by: DZ-015 profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 11/03/09 9:41 PM  | Reply
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Hollywood continues to Beren-stain my childhood.

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link at 11/03/09 3:01 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: TheMinisterofLongitude profile link at 11/03/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
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i want it to be a slasher/horror film based on this book:

Posted by: bird profile link at 11/03/09 3:23 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: Raaaaaaaandy profile link at 11/03/09 3:26 PM  | Reply
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Posted by: Raaaaaaaandy profile link at 11/03/09 3:28 PM  | Reply
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For some reason, the fact that this one is cut off on my screen makes it even funnier.

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  Raaaaaaaandy's comment at 11/03/09 3:44 PM  | Reply
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The Spooky Old Tree was my favorite Berenstain Bear book. Talk about dark and sad. It was scary and thrilling and had creaking staircases and jumping crocodiles and ‘Do they dare go into the Spooky old tree?’ I used to read as fast as I could just to get to the end so that i knew they were safe.
 
And by ‘used to’ i mean ‘yesterday.'
 
But seriously, I am so far removed from the current goings on of the Berenstain Bear clan that making a movie about them doesn't concern me. Did you know they have ANOTHER sister now? Her name is Honey or something (Jessisca Alba?)

Posted by: Mr. Hausfrau profile link at 11/03/09 3:31 PM  | Reply
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So it's Brother, Sister, and Honey? Seems logical enough.

Posted by: Superglue profile link  in reply to  Mr. Hausfrau's comment at 11/03/09 4:59 PM  | Reply
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As an incredulous child, I questioned why a bear would be named 'Sister' or 'Mama' or what have you (Queenie?). Like, when Mama was little she wasn’t called 'Mama,' right? (I think there is a book where she is called 'Mama' as a little girl. I know she still wore that frumpy polka-dotted number.) My own mother told me that OF COURSE they have other names and 'Brother' and 'Sister' were just nicknames. However, in doing research (just now) it turns out that Brother and Sister are their ‘real’ names.*
 
Honey, however, was named by the readers. There was some online voting thing. So blame yourself for not being in the know and voting for Sister II or Tabitha.
 
*they don’t have real names because they are not real. That said Lizzy Bruin (Sister’s BFF) is one of my favorite fictional character names of all times.

Posted by: Mr. Hausfrau profile link  in reply to  Superglue's comment at 11/03/09 6:10 PM  | Reply
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yow! BerenZING! bears!

Posted by: huckabeast profile link at 11/03/09 4:02 PM  | Reply
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