Oh Look, I Just Fixed Heroes
I don't watch Heroes. You know why? Because Heroes sucks. And you know what? It has always sucked. Please keep your "no way, Ted, it was really good in the first season" arguments to yourself. Yes way, Bill. I watched three quarters of the first season, OK? I was there. And then I left. Because watching that show is like putting your eyes on a hot stove, or drinking XXX poison. Once is enough and three quarters of a season is more than enough. I learned my lesson.
But now it seems like people are catching up. There's plenty of Heroes backlash these days. That's fine. I don't think that I'm WAY COOLER or SUCH A GENIUS for having figured out that this show was terrible before everyone else. No apology necessary! Come on in, the hate water's fine.
Anyway, I have no idea what's going on. Did we save the cheerleader save the world? What's in the hatch? I know the good guys became the bad guys or something and that Milo Ventimiliga's superpower is the ability to magically not go to jail for statutory rape. Something something another eclipse? Beyond that it's a mystery. Because i don't care. Nevertheless, I have just fixed the show. You're welcome.
"But, Gabe," you are asking, "how is it that you've managed to 'fix' the show if you don't even watch it?" Well, sometimes it's only through an outsider's perspective that you're able to get to the heart of problems and provide the most efficient, reasonable solutions. I just think that we need to take Heroes in a new direction.
Starting with next week's episode:
Get it? Because this show is a joke.
Posted by Gabe at 1:00 PM in What America Wants
Tags: Heroes
I know what's wrong with Heroes, and it started after the first season. The first season was actually a really good superhero origin story, but the show's creators didn't know where to take it from there.
Score = 0
i think this is the best season, i like it. i mean it's not LOST, that's for sure, but it's still enjoyable. better than anything else on NBC (not counting 30 rock).
Score = -4
I gave up on this show after season 1 ended. But despite my better judgement I watched last night's episode on a whim and because I've only been told how continuously bad the show has gotten. I got to the part where the scientist slid naked out of a cucoon he crafted while turning into a mutant Fly/Spider and then I couldn't take it anymore.
Only two more months till Lost.
Score = 1
I've watched it all while doing something else and have thoroughly enjoyed it that way. Until the 3rd or 4th episode of this season. Whoever said that this season made up for the 2nd season needs to be brought into a courtroom of peers and questioned. That said, all of you who watch LOST need to stop lying to yourselves..your questions will never get answered, they are making it up as they go along.
Score = 4
I knew you were going to do that. I am awesome.
Also, you are right about season one; it was not that great. Still, it managed to reel me in and get me to watch. It did its job.
Score = 0
Heroes has always sucked. Lost has always sucked. Your debates about when they started to suck are irrelevant; their suckage is eternal.
Score = 0
Man, you skipped out before it got totally lame: The ending of Season 1 made NO SENSE. What, can anyone tell me, was different. Where was the even that "saved" everyone? I was watching it going... but this makes NO SENSE. I mean, yeah, the goodies won and everything, but it made NO SENSE... Am I the only who actually WATCHES TV anymore?!
LOST producers: I'm looking your direction. I better not have been waiting six seasons for another ending that makes NO SENSE. There are some of us who are still paying attention!
Score = 0