A Few Things That, Admittedly, Videogum Has Missed
Look, we're doing our best around here. The internet is gigantic, and there are only so many hours in the day. Also, did you ever notice how Internet Time is so stupid? Like how if you see something on the Internet in the afternoon and you tell someone about it, they will be like, "that is old, I have just deFriendstered you," even though it just went up that morning? THAT THING THAT YOU ARE CALLING OLD IS STILL PRETTY NEW, BOYS. Besides, media, and especially Internet Media, is incredibly fractured. Even a very successful on-line video with 649,933 views (just as a random example) has still only been seen by 0.002 percent of the people! And that's just in America! There's a whole new world out there, don't you dare close your eyes. So something that is "old" on the Internet (read=Nerdville) is actually still "new" to millions and millions of people!
But I get sucked into that Internet Time just as much as everyone. I want to rap at you guys about safe sex, yes, but about NEW safe sex. So, sometimes I will see something that you guys should probably see, but maybe it is two days later than it seems like you should have seen it, and then I will be like, "that is too old! The monsters will deFriendster me!" Or maybe it will take me that long to even think of something to say about it and by then I am like "Who cares? Did you see this NEW thing that makes me want to burn out my eyes?" The point is, I'm sorry, but it's not like these things are getting slept on. THERE IS NO SLEEPING ON THINGS IN TEAM. It's just, you know, like John Lennon said, "life is what happens to you when you're busy watching other videos."
So, here are three of those things from the past couple of weeks:
Yes, I know, RoboGeisha. You are right, it is hilarious and incredible. We should enjoy this now because in 10 years Quentin Tarantino will remake it and it will be terrible. That guy is such a vampire bully!
Meanwhile, I have constructed an underground lair accessibly only by The Core drills that even an anti-Saddam Barack Hussein nuclear bunker buster could not destroy in which to keep my DVR safe until NBC's new show, or mini-series, or WHATEVER THE HELL THIS IS, Day One, begins. Must See This TV!
What am I even doing here? I have 15 dollars, terrible ideas, and a hacked copy of Photoshop. I should be making network TV shows!
Oh, and HELLO NIGHTMARES.
OLD NEWS. DeOrkuted!
Posted by Gabe at 3:00 PM in What America Wants
Tags: Day One | Robogeisha
"We're doing our best" = Gabe has several Firefox tabs open at once.
Score = 154
This whole post seems like a cry for help. We're still friends, look at the e-gift I sent you. It's a animated gif of a sparkly unicorn...YOU CAN STOP WITH THE EVIAN BABIES NOW!
Score = 24
I was kinda expecting some STRETCHY PANTS!!
Score = 6
why aren't more people talking about stretchy pants?
or shuyomouf?
jesus, i laugh until i vomit just thinking about it.
what is happening with that, seriously?
Score = 0
babies give me the heebie jeebies when they act like normal people
Score = 5
Marketing needs to stop making babies do things babies don't do. Now.
Score = 26
The bar has been raised for stage mothers everywhere: watch for ladies shouting instructions at their toddlers in rollerblades at your nearby parks...
Score = 2
Props to Day One for stealing The Truman Show music.
Score = 6
Awww, and I thought we were just politely ignoring the Evian baby dancing video ... sigh.
Score = 8
Same. If it's been covered by The Today Show, its time has passed.
Score = 1
are you mad at us gabe? why would you subject us to CGI babies, they are the worst. i have to rewatch the first two videos to cleanse my eyes.
Score = 6
I was suprised Robogeisha wasn't mentioned when it was in the link for the Orphan post. Also, did anyone know buildings bleed?
Score = 2
100,000 things to see. only 999,997 left to go, Gabe.
Score = 4
FRIED SHRIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Score = 10
In the same vein:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv5lYwO5IlU
Score = -1
In the same vein:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv5lYwO5IlU
Score = -4
The Internet is so lame. The cool kids are using the printing press now.
Score = 33
NIGHTMARES is no doubt the perfect word those super-human babies.
Score = 3
Robogeisha deserves an oscar or some shit like that.
Score = 4
Wait, so IS DAY ONE about aliens with that "THESE THINGS ARE HERE TO STAY?" I'm confused because DISTRICT 9 WILL SLAY YOU.
Also, can TV Shows IN GENERAL just stop using CGI? IT NEVER LOOKS GOOD. Seriously, the worst parts in shows like Lost are when THEY CGI IT UP and ohidunno TALK IN SMOKE MONSTER CLOUDS THAT ARE HILARIOUS.
And GABE it's okay, I won't defriendster you AS LONG AS YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH ME!!
Score = 5
i hope the robot geisha finds the evian babies and chainsaws their heads off.
Score = 3
Well, In defense of those babies, EVIAN IS PRETTY I mean, could you imagine Dasani getting away with this? HELLZ NO!
Score = 1
Well, In defense of those babies, EVIAN IS PRETTY GREAT! I mean, could you imagine Dasani getting away with this? HELLZ NO!
Score = 0
Yikes, it finally happened to me! I'll just down vote myself out of here!
Score = 9
Nothing could've have prepared me for Robot Geisha. That was amazing!
Score = 6
the music in that day one trailer is just a smidge too loud - from the DRIVEN school of background music, i see.
Score = 1
So can we get a Videogum movie club on RoboGeisha?
Score = 6
Robot Geisha looks like one of those "Quentin Tarantino Presents" features from Asia. And could somebody get working on "Robot Geisha: The Videogame" for my Xbox? Thanks.
Score = 3
tetsuo the iron man > robogeisha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uROMTzJsfOI
Score = 0
I loves me some Shinya Tsukomoto but Iron Man is hard to watch for me somehow. Vital is my favorite and even that has some nasty autopsy stuff. In the new school check out Tokyo Gore Police. I'm sure it's on netflix. iTunes has it. Penis guns and vazhuzh alligator teeth. Yikes!
Score = 1
If it makes you feel any better, Gabe, I neglected watching these vids when they showed up on Urlesque, BWE, Dlisted, Listicles, etc.etc.EVERYTHING ELSE until you posted about them. I subconsciously deemed them unworthy until it reached the hallowed halls of Videogum.
I'm not sure what you're supposed to take from that. But there you go all the same.
Score = 10
Relax, Gabe.
Score = 5
That Aladdin reference made my day.
Score = 17
Speaking of Nerdville, did you just quote the song from Aladdin?
"There's a whole new world out there, don't you dare close your eyes."
(I have kids, that's my excuse)
Score = 0
Why do you need an excuse? Aladdin's awesome!
Score = 10
Well, technically my kids are only 16 months old and have never seen Aladdin so...
Score = 6
Looked a little more like Anus Katana from where I'm sitting. Those are more deadly, anyway. I would expect nothing less from your girlfriend.
Score = 4
"I'm a good cop!"
"I know."
DVR-ed.
Score = 2
I would relax, senor Gabe. It's an endless pursuit, but I would imagine most readers are fans of your site more than others. They would rather see it on your site w/commentary regardless if it's been out for more than 1.2 earth hours.
YOU WILL NEVER CONQUER THE VIDEOPHONIC INTERWEBS, so don't try, just do your thing.
Score = 3
The soundtrack to the Geisha Robot trailer is totally ripping off "Live or Let Die" by Paul McCartney and Wings.
Score = 1
live and let MCCARTNEYGEISHA.
Score = 5
This whole world is dead; it just doesn't know it yet.
Score = 4
you know what would probably help you keep up? another writer for Videogum
oh wait :(
Score = 1
i bet my parents are so psyched for day one. also is that rachel leigh cook??
Score = -1
i would love some jungle tribe to find this video. then they would think our babies are AWESOME! (if they could push play with a mouse and clicker. BIG IF)
Score = 1
Have you seen this really funny show called Everybody Loves Raymond? Oh man it is so good.
Score = 4