Videogum's Teen Korner: New Moon In Your Pants!
What's up crazy dudes and cool girls who like boys and clothes but also have informed opinions of their own and can be anything they want to in this world. Tony Hawk! If you're anything like us, you are going OUT OF YOUR MIND in anticipation over the new TWILIGHT movie. Am I riiiiiiiight, bros?! And girl bros?! I've barely even had time to feed my Tamagotchi I'm going so bonkers! Cowabunga!
Well guessssssssss whuuuuuuuuuut! We have got a super-bodacious new image from the movie that is going to make you NUMBER 2 in your MARITHE FRANCOIS GIRBAUD JEANS (total jk, we would never do that to your awesome jeans. Those jeans look great, btw!). The insanity of this new picture is going to drive you insane. You won't even be able to believe it. You're going to see this picture, and oh man, you are going to flip. You're going to be like "Nunh-unh," but let me assure you, YES-HUNH! Jonas Brothers.
Oh man, I wish I was you guys so that I could see this thing for the first time all over again. TEEN POWER!
AHHHHHHHH, I feel like my HEAD IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF. And that's fresh.
(Image via Latino Review.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:15 PM in Wait For It..., What America Wants
Tags: New Moon | OMG | Teenagers | Twilight | Vampires | Werewolves
I'm confused... which one of them is Twilight?
Score = 178
My mom says you can stay over tonight. We're having Tostinos Pizza rolls for dinner.
Score = 144
I love the fact that you misspelled Tamagotchi, and I hate the fact that I know that you misspelled Tamagotchi.
Score = 59
I feel like Videogum should go to jail for having a Teen Korner.
Score = 16
McG would be all like," It's irony, bro!"
Score = 11
I am fully willing to believe this is how kidz these days talk. This new Teen Korner feature is totes Funky Winkerbean! (I don't know if I'm doing it right)
Score = 46
Thom Yorke is doing music for this, it's okay to like it now guys.
Score = -22
No no, you heard wrong; it's Confide covering Thom Yorke who're doing music for this movie.
Score = 42
Thanks now you can think about Confide screaming "The Eraser".
No need to show me...I already know my way out!
Score = 7
YOU'RE LIKE A KITTEN WITH A BALL OF YARN
AND IT'S DOING ME IN, DOING ME IN, DOING ME IN!
Score = 7
Your commitment to your role is impressive, Gabe. You even typed like you were in an AOL chat room and everything!
Score = 5
OMG, srly? im freakin' out ova twilight! belle is sooo prtty. i wish i was her!
ne new pics of edward? hes sooo cute! i luv that he sparkles in sunlight! i luv him sooo much!
(I hate that I know this much about Twilight. And I learned it all by reading Videogum. Thanks a lot Gabe!)
Score = 17
actually.. it's Bella. ;)
I know.. I read all the books!
Score = -49
True story: Today my dentist asked me if I like Harry Potter. I said no. Then she said, "Oh, you're a Twilight girl, then?" I'm 24.
Now that it's expected that a GROWN WOMAN care about these things, I think it's time for that big flood Gabe keeps talking about.
Score = 76
GIrl you barley growed you was 13 when the first book came out. That dentist was right.
Score = 36
I grow barley, what?
Score = 23
Seemingly, there is no age limit for Twilight fans.
Score = 5
Ugh, thanks a lot. Now I have to go living knowing that a website called TwilightMOMS exist!
Also, I can't wait til this movie is so awful it makes everybody who obsessed with all this hype feel embarrassed.
Actually the best part of this movie having so much hype is that even if this movie is pretty great (pretty unlikely), it will still fail in comparison to the horrible expectations teen girls (and moms!) will have! Yay!!
Score = 3
True story: you never answered "No" to the dentist's second question. And here you are trying to fool us all into thinking you're all mature and over Twilight and everything, but we all know (cause I'm saying it right now) that you have a life-size Edward Cullen cardboard cutout on your bedroom ceiling.
:)
Score = 6
Nice e-flirting. The :) sealed it.
Score = 5
It's even worse when you're actually a teenage girl. EVERYONE assumes that you like Twilight. ugh.
Score = 5
OMG I practically did number 3 in my pants.
Score = 48
Judging from that photo, New Moon is the story of Lance, a teenager working on his father's farm in rural Iowa. Upon graduation, Lance discovers that he wants more out of life - he wants to serve his country in the military. His family and friends all try to dissuade him, but Lance is resolute. That is, until he meets Ashley, the pretty girl who just moved from Des Moines. As their relationship deepens, Lance must decide between his hopes and dreams, and the girl of his dreams.
(This screen grab is taken right before they fuck for the first time in Lance's pickup. SPOILER ALERT - she gets preggers and doesn't find out until Lance is already in Iraq. But it's okay - he gets shot in the leg and discharged just in time to witness the birth of his beautiful son.)
Score = 44
I forgot to mention that there is a fade to black before said fucking. PG-13, yo!
Score = 19
OMG! Like, I seriously just wang-chunged!
Score = 2
"Do I say something?" she thought.
"I wonder if she knows I farted," he wondered.
Score = -8
This almost made me Miley Cyrus in my XBox 360, but instead I just flipped my hair out of my eyes and acted like I didn't really care (I care so many cares).
Score = 18
Stencil won the 2009 Teen Choice Award for Breakthrough Font!
Score = 18
This comment is funny. I approve of this comment.
Score = 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLvNGZjMt8I
The video has a weird porny feeling because of the shame/gross humanness of it all, but it's definitely not as sexy as porn. Oh, and she has like a million orgasms watching the movie trailer. So I guess it's more like watching someone else watch porn. Figured it out.
*blech*
Score = 2
Ew, you were right. From that video: "I am gonna fangirl. I am gonna fangirl so bad." Give it to me, trailer, give it to me. Unh.
Score = 0
About time that got that goddawful abomination aborted.
Score = -1