Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck • The Onion might have gone a little too far with this one. Then again, maybe they didn't. There is no way to tell. Mysteries are all around us.
Posted at 10:45 AM in WebJunk
Tags: Glenn Beck | The Onion | Yikes
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Meh. The Onion is less funny when it's political.
.
The traffic cone's column is probably the single most hilariously sad thing ever written.
Score = 2
"I only regret that I am not Glenn Beck." - Nathan Hale, 1776
Score = 5
"I heard screaming, and at first I thought it was an impression of Glenn Beck talking normally..."
Lots Of Love, Onion!
However, that's still in pretty bad taste. Watch Beck talk about it on his show and say how it exemplifies the liberal media, not knowing that The Onion is satirical.
Score = 4
Call me when this gets a "too soon?" tag.
Score = 2
As long as this isn't about Jeff Beck...or just Beck. Who am I kidding, Beck will never die.
Score = 5
Beck won't die, he will reach the usefulness limit associated with his mortal form and leave for the grand adventure of a scientologists eternity.
Score = 13
I'm sorry DS3M, but i'm an antibeckscientologist, therefore i don't believe that beck is a scientologist. i just can't....
Score = 10
No, they'll just stick his preserved head on a robot body, of course. And then he'll compose the rhyming becktionary.
Score = 9
TheOnion did not go to far in this one. Down vote away. It wont make me any less wrong.
Score = 13
Where is far? And what is TheOnion? Come, salesman, share with me your secrets,
Score = 4
Political? Doesn't everyone hate Glen Beck. Can't we all agree on that?
Score = 3
It is over the top, but it is also very funny. I like my Onion with a side of balls.
Score = 19
Is there a Button I can push where I get jaundice and Glenn Beck dies? Cuz I'll be a yellow bastard for the greater good. And jaundice clears up, right?
Score = 7
My friend had jaundice about 4 years back and she's still pretty yellow, but it just looks like a constant healthy tan. I'm not saying that it would work out that way for you, but I am saying it didn't not work out that way.
Maybe we can just cause Glenn Beck to become a paralysed mute, because while it would be horrible for his family and those who love him (who? No idea) for him to die, it would be nice if he stopped saying such terrible, racist, inflammatory, ridiculous and dangerous things.
Score = 5
Have you seen my Brown Terrorist (MexicanItalian) Skin? I could do for some yellowing, would help my public relations campaign with the frightened people sitting near me ON ALL PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION ALWAYS SINCE 9/11 sorry had to get that out
Score = 5
My sister got jaundice and it went away after about 5 months.
Take the risk.
Score = 1
I'm doing it.... Where's half face man to offer me the 2009 version of sophie's choice (My Jaundice-lessness or Glen Beck)...
Score = 0
It's not so much that Glenn Beck is bad for America but that the America that doesn't think Glenn Beck is bad for America is bad for America. And we don't want a large portion of America to die in a wreck so...yuck?
Score = 4
Exactly. In a perfect world, Glen Beck would be alive and well, but everyone would see him for what he is ... a constant source of comedy gold.
Score = 3
Too far. But full-bodied Reebok sneakers could be a huge seller.
Score = -1
The Onion is on to something here; maybe, in order to save all of our lives, Glenn Beck will have to die in a Fiery Crash.
Score = 5
Or perhaps he must first try to hang himself, fail, and then be strangled by Benjamin Linus.
Score = 8
YES. "My Job Is Largely Thankless" or something like that, right? I can't find it in the Onion archives but it is one of their best editorials, right up there with this Point/Counterpoint:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34168
Score = 3
Um, this was in reply to Warden El Fuego's first comment up top, yet it was not published as such. The "reply" box was checked, I swear.
Sigh. My first comment here and already I've made a fool of myself.
Score = 8
WELCOME
Score = 2
Now that you've gotten that out of the way, let the Zinglympics begin!
Score = 2
Can "Fat Dumb Mormon Fuck-Face" be the new Glenn Beck tag
Score = 2
I prefer "fucknugget," thank you.
Score = 1
I may be stating the obvious, but they're making fun of all the Beck-hate, right? In other words, they're on Beck's side, and parodying all the people who they feel are going too far? So that going too far is kind of the point?
Score = 3
You win! I was wondering when someone would figure that out or at least speak up about it.
Score = 5
I think you've overanalyzed it, honestly.
Score = 2
I think you've overanalyzed it, honestly.
Score = 0
Sincerely, I think you've overanalyzed it.
Score = 14
No one wins as long as Glenn Beck lives (huh?). "JK."
Score = 0
This was meant to be in rely to a Mr. Godsauce, FYI.
Score = 0
I caught this last night, and while my first thought was "Yikes, too far guys..."
My second thought was "LOLz."
Score = 1
I don't normally like jokes about peoples' deaths, but this is Glenn Beck we're talking about.
Score = 0
I posted this story on my Facebook page and quickly discovered how many of my friends are fans of Glenn Beck. And Mormon. And douchebags. Their whiny comments about how the story was "sick" and "not funny at all" made it even funnier for me.
Score = 0