Uh Oh, Somebody's Gay Dad Broke Into The High School A/V Room
Oh boy. This guy. His name is tonetta777, and he plays guitar. He has lots of songs, like "Drugs Drugs Drugs," and "Sweet 16." He kind of seems like someone's dad who reached a point in his life where he realized that he was gay, and that he did not want to die without ever pursuing his music. At first, his children supported him because they loved him and wanted him to be happy, and at first it seemed like taping himself in the basement using an old high school A/V mixing board with over 10 different "special efx" was fun. You do, dad! He would send the links around to some of his friends and family being like "Check out my new vid, you cats. Lots Of Love," and his friends and family would write back like "You rock, Dave!" and "I'm loving this new you!"
But then at a certain point he decided that if he was going to the trouble of expressing himself, he might as well REALLY EXPRESS HIMSELF, and that is when things got weird. Really, really weird. After the jump, so much weird. All of the weird, basically. You been had warned.
Cool rock, Dave. You should put together a demo and start playing gigs around town!
Admittedly, your songs sort of sound the same, but I like that you are getting out there and showing people what you're all about.
OK! Nice vest! I dig it! Let your freak flag fly! What's that around your neck? Who cares! You're doin' your thang!*
Huh. OK...A song about Saddam. Sure, man. Political! Sometimes I disagree with American foreign policy, and there are plenty of discriminatory issues at home that concern me, but this is still a wonderful country!
Um...OK, actually the Saddam thing kind of creeped me out, but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to get in the way of your creative process. But this song REALLY creeps me out, so I kind of figure there's no reason to hold back on the constructive criticism at this point.
Wait, no. Hey! Let's go back to the cool jamz. Why is this door locked?
DAVE, I DON'T LIKE THIS. YOU ARE SCARING ME. PLEASE STOP SCARING ME!
Look, I think I'm just going to take off. If you'd just open the door, like, just unlock the door and I'll just go. Cool? I think I just want to go home now. Please? Dave, why won't you let me go home?
HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? I AM IN DAVE'S BASEMENT AND I NEED AN ADULT! I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!
(Via StreetCarnage.)
*"You're doin' your thang" is such a gross sentence! Befitting!
Posted by Gabe at 2:45 PM in WebJunk
Tags: Yikes
This has got to be the best headline I've read in months
Score = 12
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS HAVE VIDEOS OF ME?!?!
Score = 15
Dammit, Gabe, that's why you always stick with your buddy! Anyone seen Gabe's buddy?
Score = 32
I didn't even have to watch the videos to thoroughly enjoy this post.
Score = 26
We're going to need a bigger Silence of the Lambs joke.
Score = 72
I'd get a charge out of me. I'd get a charge out of me so bad. J-j-j-juice me up.
Score = 7
Great Job!
Score = -1
destroy youtube.
seriously, burn it down.
Score = 14
i think i'm most bothered by the fact that he uses the same drum fill in every damn song.
though, in retrospect, that does seem to be one of the more banal details of this man's music career.
Score = 39
but but but
i agree...????
are you also frightened?
(ac word play intended)
Score = -9
we're basically the same person: you're an evil version of me, and i'm an annoying version of you.
anyway, how was your weekend?
did you do any CHORES or puzzle over any UNSOLVED MYSTERIES?
Score = 35
This is really turning into quite the Daily Routine.
Score = 30
I'd like to say FUCK BOTH OF YOU for now making me think of this goddamn post when I read/hear stuff about Animal Collective. Seriously y'all. Watch HOW THE HELL you are associating shit.
Score = -4
Dave obviously went to the Wesley Willis school of composition.
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago. Raid, It Kills Bugs Dead.
Score = 16
this guy totally = wesley willis + peaches + BOB from twin peaks.
Score = 9
His guitar fills are nearly identical too. As are his weirdly staccato/smoker's rasp vocals.
Just....wow. One can only pray these achieve greater circulation. By realizing his (potential) dreams of fame--the kind of 24/7, intense scrutiny that involves heavy security and neighborhood policing--we might then know of his exact whereabouts. Which is helpful for running screaming in the opposite direction. Because I can't handle Dave being my secret neighbor. No.
Great progression on this post though.
Score = 3
I watched the 1st video and thought "it's not THAT bad". Now, I'm on the 3rd video and having trouble breathing.
Score = 18
Okay, so how long until we find out he's a pedophile? Or is that safe to assume at this point?
Score = 25
Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about all the crazy shit I missed out on before youtube was around.
Score = 45
I think it was just caleld 'public access' tv. Damon Zex anyone?
Score = 1
I think it was just called 'public access' tv. Damon Zex anyone?
Score = -2
I feel like the kids at PS 17 :(
Score = 53
i really thought this was a follow up on that article from the sound of the headline, then realized it said high school, now feel dirty. papa bear o'reilly was right, i do have blood on my hands.
Score = 2
Horny?
Score = 9
Reminds me of an (unintentional) version of my YouTube hero, RactalFece.
Score = 1
I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but evidently he and I buy our linens at the same place.
Score = 21
It's like Leonard Cohen meets David Bowie meets Roxy Music meets Andrew Cunanan.
Score = 10
Of all the AC references on this board, your's is my favorite.
Score = 3
Why wasn't this guy approached to do the 'Summertime Clothes' video?
Score = 2
Still better than Billy Bob Thornton.
Score = 9
That AC word play was exciting. But yeah this is really bad. Like 9th level of hell bad.
Score = 3
i am having troubling recalling what life used to be like before i saw these videos.
Score = 24
He bears more than a passing resemblance to Sir Ian McKellen.
Score = 8
Have you ever seen them together in the same room?! We're through the looking glass here, people.
Score = 10
I was so perplexed by the videos and I couldn't wrap my head around where this mostly disturbing person is coming from- so i click the link to Tonetta777 and....between his other videos, hisfavorited videos and youtuber comments:
"You're so enigmatic...frustratingly so. Anyway, Glory Day + Dominate have been on rotation at my place for the past week or so. Love it. Keep 'em comin' (double entendre intended)."
I feel the same way I did the first time I saw the movie Se7en. This world is horrible and dirty and I'm never leaving my house again. Lindsay- I need kitten videos STAT!
Score = 23
I think this calls for a new "That's Your Dad" series here on videogum.
Score = 45
Bravo. That was great.
Score = 0
I was in a horrible, self hatred fueled mood today but this post really put things into perspective.
Score = 9
ok, i guess i have to be the one to say it: it puts the lotion in the basket.
Score = -13
From the looks of Hungry Eyes, your
dadboyfriend has been at this for some time. (Also, is it just me or does he totally look like Tim Roth with a mullet in this video? Right?)Score = 0
Jigsaw: Theres a Key to open the room door down on this dudes pants, ¿You want your life back? go get them.
Score = 9
what godawful lip syncing.
you call the man saddam
Score = 1
Do whatever you want, what am I , the police or somethin'? but this is way too creepy for general audiences. Check out this guy's favorite videos on youtube. *whimper*
I need to go wash my eyes.
Score = 2
did i just watch one man's descent into madness via progressive youtube videos?
yeeeeah, i guess that just happened.
Score = 20
He's got kind of a Serge Gainsbourg/Leonard Cohen in an amusement park Make-Your-Own-Video booth vibe going. I'm not gonna lie...it's not the worst thing I've ever seen.
Score = 1
Did you purposefully leave out his most popular/most amazing one? Or in your narrative did he make this video like... hours after he already killed you and now hes, um, peeing in your dead face?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_QrPCne-o0&feature=channel_page
Score = 12
yeah that one is also amazing. i am obsessed with going through his videos to find the most cringe inducing one. YES, PEOPLE OF THE VIDEOGUM, IT GETS WORSE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAv1dCdlYho
title: 81 inch prime ass
first line: i'm going to tickle your ass with my tongue / as you know, i'm well hung / gonna make you laugh, giggle and squirt / with just one push you'll say "ooh that hurts"
WE ARE NOT IN ANY KIND OF KANSAS ANYMORE
Score = 20
I AM NOT ANY KIND OF STRAIGHT ANYMORE. no more men for me.
Score = 14
His hat is like what I imagine Doms wear in Canada. Perfect.
Score = 1
Just Like That = a nightmare in 3 minutes. You whack, I whack? Did he say that? Maybe this is more like Crispin Glover's album. Where's the Clowney Clown Clown cover? Just remember: My clothes go nowhere and my flesh is above you.
Score = 5
I love my live, gay dad!
Score = 12
Its the magic of "Real Housewives" mixed with those horrible tryouts for American Idol and the dudes from To Catch a Child Predator.
Also: That dude is totally naked in the video "Hot Rod"........oh how the broken lives of others entertain me.
Score = 2
Tim and Eric seriously need to see this. In fact I think this guy deserves to be on their show if he hasn't already.
Score = 4
i wanna meet that dad.
Score = 11
On the creepy scale, this guy is right up there with femskins. Those videos just can't be unseen.
Score = 4
If the DFA remixed "Death Sentence" it would be a hit.
"You can fuckin' die."
Now that's a chorus.
Score = 4
your dad looks like a raw, plucked chicken being manipulated by the marionette strings of a crazed puppeteer in that last video.
Score = 3
Becca, his youtube profile clearly states that he's 34. He's not an old and creepy dad, he's just like a friend or big brother we can talk to. I'm going to give him my contact info because he seems like someone who would really 'get' me.
Score = 20
is ths real life?
Score = 4
34?? he's only two years older than me and he looks like my dad!
(not literally.. my dad is nowhere near as creepy as mr shirtless-neck-scarf-ington)
Score = 0
you know how they say "the journey is it's own reward"? the next time i hear that i'm going to refer them to this post.
Score = 4
it's = its. doh. grammergum
Score = 2
Rape Victim has some good hooks.
Score = 8
I was trying to skip through "Dominate" because who can actually watch most of these videos all the way through? and I kept clicking and it kept replaying the part where he thrusts his hips and says "really, really, really good FUCK!" and I panicked because I thought I had died and was waking up in hell.
Score = 23
I will continue to think this guy is funny as long as he stays at least 100 feet away from my house.
Score = 10
gabe... dude.. who do i make the bill out to on account of all these night-terrors you've caused me?
Score = 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZe2SdPvkmw&feature=related
This guy is 2:28 to 3:13. He uses words like "jams" for swimming shorts? And he just won't let little black children go.
Score = 1
Sadly though my dancing is on the same level as his. Lots of pointing and elbow movement.
Score = 7
and wait a minute.. in that hot rod clip.. quite apart from the fact he seems to have painted himself in either blood or feces.. is he even wearing pants??? *barfs*
Score = 5
Holy. Fuck. I can't believe what im seeing right now. I know this guy. About 5 years ago, I worked with him- like, alone with him for a couple of months. I - I'm totally speechless. I always thought he was into music in one way or another, but this... He was a pretty nice guy as I remember, I smoked a joint with him a time or two. He DID once say something that had a sorta wierd creepiness that really struck me at the time. I'm just completely shocked out of my entire being at all of this. Holy god
Score = 13
What did he say?
Score = 5
We were talking about the smell of a very specific glue, and he mentioned how it turned him on, but something about the way he said it creeped me to the core.
Score = 6
ZOOM IN. ZOOM OUT.
ZOOM IN. ZOOM OUT.
ZOOM IN. ZOOM OUT.
Best one, clearly.
Score = 3
If this guy as better looking
Pitchfork 8.3
Score = 9
I feel like I am slowly watching a man slowly becoming detached from reality, kinda like when my dad made me watch Dune back to back with Apocalypse Now when i was 10.
Score = 3
Hang the guilty as
They stand for the punishment
Of a rape victom
Score = 3
I'm betting that this guy appears just before the fall of every great civilization as a reminder of why it's time to shut it all down.
Score = 15
I'm betting that this guy appears just before the fall of every great civilization as a reminder of why it's time to shut it all down.
Score = 0
Hey! You wear creepy masks with lingerie, too?! We should start a club.
Score = 2
It's like Leonard Cohen channeling Prince. I'm terrified but I can't look away!
Score = 2
It's like that beautiful video journey took me through the human experience.
Score = 2
Am I crazy? Or is this music awesome?
Score = 6
its the charles bukowski of rock n roll
Score = 1
can you imagine someone walking in on him recording the last few videos? i don't see how that situation could play itself out without someone being killed.
Score = 8
If someone walked in on him, it would make a great keyboard cat.
Score = 0
NEVER have I been more uncomfortable with the phallic nature of guitars.
Score = 4
ahhhhhhh!!!!
is this what leonard cohen did to keep busy back @ the monastery?!
Score = 0
I'm just a little girl
In love with a little boy
Score = 1
After each of these songs, tonetta777 skins a fat chick and stuffs a moth down her throat, before dumping her in a nearby river.
Score = 1
HOW HAS NO ONE POSTED THIS YET
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_QrPCne-o0
I present to you the first (perhaps only) video by Gay Dad Dave that features a song with new drums and rhythm guitar! The catchiest tune yet! It is, however, about coprophagia and urophagia ("That's what life is all about!")
Score = 1
Not to mention kicking the graphics up several notches at the end! (and yes, before you accost me, i AM ashamed to have made it that far)
Score = 0
k i can't believe i watched this many of them through to notice this lyric but canada does not turn away "pakistanies" , i'll let the other stuff go but that is just factually incorrect...
Score = 1
Out of all the songs in the world called "hot rod" that is probably the only one that used the "evil rod getting hotter and hotter" imagery.
Score = 0
ANYONE KNOW WHAT HE GOT HIS ACCOUNT SUSPENDED FOR? HE'S HILARIOUS.
Score = 0