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July 20, 2009

This Is Like Keyboard Cat, But For Movies

This clip from a 1987 movie called Student Confidential has been titled "The Worst Movie Ending EVER!!!" Whoops, they got the words Worst and Best mixed up (the number of exclamation points is correct).

Q: What is going on?
A: Who cares!

This should be the Keyboard Cat of movies. Like, any time a movie has a disappointing ending, let's just cut and paste this at the end. Better. We can finally "fix" Million Dollar Baby! (In the new version, Maggie Fitzgerald, a successful female boxer who has never been injured, suddenly turns into a black man and teaches Frankie Dunn a pretty important lesson about creepy hand holding and weird stares.) (Via IWatchStuff.)

Posted by Gabe at 3:00 PM in
Tags:




44 Comments

K

There is obviously some ESP conversation going on there.

Posted by: K profile link at 07/20/09 3:09 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

That was like every 2nd half of a Speilberg movie I have ever seen. I will say I am interested how he intends to make that inordinate amount of money. (cue creepy glance)

Posted by: Leibniz profile link at 07/20/09 3:10 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder

Um, guys, this movie's from the wonderful gents at Troma Entertainment.

Sorry to burst your bubble but it looks like it's a parody.

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder profile link at 07/20/09 3:10 PM | Reply
Score = -16 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

And that changes things how? There is no possible universe in which that is not a bad ending.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link in reply to TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder's comment at 07/20/09 3:21 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder

It's an amazing ending done ON PURPOSE.

I JUST CHANGED MY MIND, IT'S AWESOME IN 7 WAYS. DOWNVOTE MY ORIGINAL POST EVERYONE.

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder profile link in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/20/09 3:23 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

I downvote all your posts buddy.

Posted by: Jim in reply to TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder's comment at 07/20/09 11:13 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder

Relax, technojeremy.

I'd return the favor, but you're apparently too functionally disabled to create your own account.

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder profile link in reply to Jim's comment at 07/21/09 4:55 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
BradyShow

Awkward silences? Where we're going we won't need awkward silences.

Posted by: BradyShow profile link at 07/20/09 3:11 PM | Reply
Score = 27 Vote up Vote down
Bret McKenzie's Wolf Shirt

Oh gawd, PLEASE let it be that it is actually THE marlon jackson that is in this movie (as the credits indicate)!!!!

Posted by: Bret McKenzie's Wolf Shirt profile link at 07/20/09 3:12 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Bret McKenzie's Wolf Shirt

Oh gawd, PLEASE let it be that it is actually THE marlon jackson that is in this movie (as the credits indicate)!!!!

Posted by: Bret McKenzie's Wolf Shirt profile link at 07/20/09 3:13 PM | Reply
Score = -7 Vote up Vote down
.bryan.

Haha. What? There are credits for "Hoodlums" and "Prostitutes". This might be the best movie.

Posted by: .bryan. profile link at 07/20/09 3:13 PM | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down
etc

How about a SPOILER ALERT?

Posted by: etc profile link at 07/20/09 3:16 PM | Reply
Score = 58 Vote up Vote down
Detroit Dutchgirl

You guys, that's Marlon Jackson.

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 07/20/09 3:16 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
sen_tankerbell

Susan Scott didn't even have to learn a different first name! She must have had a great manager. Aside from getting her this role, I mean.

Posted by: sen_tankerbell profile link at 07/20/09 3:17 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
practicallyinformation

I'm a big fan of Emo Pavarotti. too bad he didn't get more work.

Posted by: practicallyinformation profile link at 07/20/09 3:22 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
aaron

I am totally digging that spunky ending credit music! Oh yeah!

Posted by: aaron profile link at 07/20/09 3:23 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
kate

Same! Such a funky jam!

Posted by: kate profile link in reply to aaron's comment at 07/21/09 8:30 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
ber

I kept waiting for them to make out.

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/20/09 3:27 PM | Reply
Score = 19 Vote up Vote down
dafs

I was really hoping I'd stumbled upon the sequel to Scanners.

Posted by: dafs profile link at 07/20/09 3:37 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
Becca

i'm waiting for the mashup of this guy and the crying Indian. single tears are the best. so poignant.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 07/20/09 3:38 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Becca

Posted by: Becca profile link in reply to Becca's comment at 07/20/09 3:41 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
dafs

Oh, and I have to point out that the guy who wrote that fantastic review of Million Dollar Baby has a five-star review of a carton of smoked oysters. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Posted by: dafs profile link at 07/20/09 3:38 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

The look that says "Who's up for another spot of rough sex. The scars on your face say probably 'not yet'. But your eyes say 'No? Yes? No? yesssss.'"

Posted by: Skillet profile link at 07/20/09 4:10 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Ok this is the second time I've seen this today and in those six hours nobody has edited it to include keyboard cat. WHY NOT?? I WANT THE KEYBOARD CAT TO PLAY THESE TWO CATS OUT!!!!!

Posted by: annoyingmouse profile link at 07/20/09 4:12 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Is it just me, or does that guy look like Jonathan Frakes?

Posted by: thenaritaline profile link at 07/20/09 4:31 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

My favorite part is when it goes from terribly executed acting exercise to awkwardly suggestive gay tryst invitation.

Posted by: Omar Devone Little profile link at 07/20/09 4:31 PM | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down
Bobby Seger

Hey Omar, how are things?

Posted by: Bobby Seger profile link in reply to Omar Devone Little's comment at 07/20/09 4:39 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Just got back from shootin' the boy Mike-Mike in his hind parts.

Posted by: Omar Devone Little profile link in reply to Bobby Seger's comment at 07/20/09 4:43 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Okay, so when I was a kid, Ronee Blakely (so good in Nashville, so bad in everything else) was a family friend and used to stay at our apartment in New York when she was in town. She was visitng the weekend I first saw Nightmare on Elm Street -- which holy shit I just looked up and it came out in 1984, meaning I was way too old for the story that follows. Anyway, I couldn't sleep after seeing that movie because, well, you know...the whole sleep-and-you-die-plot device. So my mother had Ronee come into my room and explain how it was all fake: how they used corn syrup dyed red for blood, how Robert Englund was a delightfully charming man and how, in the ending that terrified me, they made a dummy of her and yanked it through the window of the front door.

It was the best, most illuminating conversation of my childhood and I don't think I ever had trouble sleeping after that. In short, I owe Ronee Blakely a tremendous debt of gratitude for her kindness. But after seeing her name in the credits of this inexplicably weird clip, I'm wiping the slate clean, and as far as I'm concerned, she can rot in hell with Freddy Krueger hot on her heels.

Posted by: Swindon Lot at 07/20/09 5:13 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

That was a really nice story except for the ending and then you got really mean! I loved Ronee Blakely in Nashville (never saw her in anything else) and she wrote her own songs for it, which were great. So she will always be Barbara Jean to me (and the woman who made you not scared at night).

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link in reply to Swindon Lot's comment at 07/20/09 5:32 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Okay, so when I was a kid, Ronee Blakely (so good in Nashville, so bad in everything else) was a family friend and used to stay at our apartment in New York when she was in town. She was visitng the weekend I first saw Nightmare on Elm Street -- which holy shit I just looked up and it came out in 1984, meaning I was way too old for the story that follows. Anyway, I couldn't sleep after seeing that movie because, well, you know...the whole sleep-and-you-die-plot device. So my mother had Ronee come into my room and explain how it was all fake: how they used corn syrup dyed red for blood, how Robert Englund was a delightfully charming man and how, in the ending that terrified me, they made a dummy of her and yanked it through the window of the front door.

It was the best, most illuminating conversation of my childhood and I don't think I ever had trouble sleeping after that. In short, I owe Ronee Blakely a tremendous debt of gratitude for her kindness. But after seeing her name in the credits of this inexplicably weird clip, I'm wiping the slate clean, and as far as I'm concerned, she can rot in hell with Freddy Krueger hot on her heels.

Posted by: Swindon Lot at 07/20/09 5:13 PM | Reply
Score = -10 Vote up Vote down

Okay, so when I was a kid, Ronee Blakely (so good in Nashville, so bad in everything else) was a family friend and used to stay at our apartment in New York when she was in town. She was visitng the weekend I first saw Nightmare on Elm Street -- which holy shit I just looked up and it came out in 1984, meaning I was way too old for the story that follows. Anyway, I couldn't sleep after seeing that movie because, well, you know...the whole sleep-and-you-die-plot device. So my mother had Ronee come into my room and explain how it was all fake: how they used corn syrup dyed red for blood, how Robert Englund was a delightfully charming man and how, in the ending that terrified me, they made a dummy of her and yanked it through the window of the front door.

It was the best, most illuminating conversation of my childhood and I don't think I ever had trouble sleeping after that. In short, I owe Ronee Blakely a tremendous debt of gratitude for her kindness. But after seeing her name in the credits of this inexplicably weird clip, I'm wiping the slate clean, and as far as I'm concerned, she can rot in hell with Freddy Krueger hot on her heels.

Posted by: Swindon Lot at 07/20/09 5:14 PM | Reply
Score = -15 Vote up Vote down
Abacus Finch

Its the creepiest Conan/Max stare-off ever

Posted by: Abacus Finch profile link at 07/20/09 5:15 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Okay, so when I was a kid, Ronee Blakely (so good in Nashville, so bad in everything else) was a family friend and used to stay at our apartment in New York when she was in town. She was visitng the weekend I first saw Nightmare on Elm Street -- which holy shit I just looked up and it came out in 1984, meaning I was way too old for the story that follows. Anyway, I couldn't sleep after seeing that movie because, well, you know...the whole sleep-and-you-die-plot device. So my mother had Ronee come into my room and explain how it was all fake: how they used corn syrup dyed red for blood, how Robert Englund was a delightfully charming man and how, in the ending that terrified me, they made a dummy of her and yanked it through the window of the front door.

It was the best, most illuminating conversation of my childhood and I don't think I ever had trouble sleeping after that. In short, I owe Ronee Blakely a tremendous debt of gratitude for her kindness. But after seeing her name in the credits of this inexplicably weird clip, I'm wiping the slate clean, and as far as I'm concerned, she can rot in hell with Freddy Krueger hot on her heels.

Posted by: Swindon Lot at 07/20/09 5:17 PM | Reply
Score = -19 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

I don't think it's working! Try submitting it again?

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Swindon Lot's comment at 07/20/09 7:02 PM | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

This just proves that an Angelo Badalamenti synth score can make anything amazing. (see Inside the Actor's Studio)

Posted by: Arkadin at 07/20/09 5:35 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

I thought that said "synth core" (as in "synthcore") at first, and I didn't even question that that was a thing.

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Arkadin's comment at 07/20/09 7:05 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
Max the King of All Wild Things

Google has just shown me that some people are dumb enough tow ant that to be a real thing. Ugh.

Posted by: Max the King of All Wild Things profile link in reply to Carrie's comment at 07/22/09 12:51 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

ummmm, so this movie is available on Netflix watch instantly, and it is AMAZING! Every minute of it is as wonderfully peculiar as that ending.

Posted by: Todd at 07/20/09 7:26 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Elizabeth

Which one is my boyfriend? I hope it's the one who can make me an inordinate ammount of money in the world of buisness. Because I am materialistic.

Posted by: Elizabeth profile link at 07/20/09 9:37 PM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

Jodie Foster falls through the atom-like machine, and she sees the world shift around her. When the doors open, she cautiously steps out and there is a man offering to make her an inordinate amount of money through the world of business. Looking down at her hands, she realizes that she has somehow become a black man. But that doesn't matter. Nothing like that matters anymore.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 07/21/09 12:03 AM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

In the '70s and '80s, every movie involving an ethnic minority was required to have 'Hoodlums' and occasionally 'Drug Dealer #1 and #2.' Seriously, check the credits.

Posted by: HN1 at 07/21/09 1:21 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

original inspiration for the hills perhaps?

Posted by: amy at 07/21/09 7:23 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
elliosenor

Yeah, the chemistry between Malcolm Gladwell's brother and the This Is Sparta guy couldn't be better.

Posted by: elliosenor profile link at 07/21/09 8:36 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

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