Internet Done Burned Me Again
You guys, this is one of those weeks. Woof. Maybe it's just me, but the Lawnmower Man feels painfully slow. Hello? IS MCFLY AT HOME HELLO? Personally, I don't like when blogs get too self-knowing and talk about the art of blogcraft or whatever. That is how SKNYETS get created. And next thing you know. So I am sorry about this. But it has gotten dire out there.
So I made the executive decision to end the day with a nice little video. You know, noting too crazy. Just something that said "Let's paint, exercise, and have a great rest of the week." I can have fun, too, you guys. It's not all Grouch Town: Population Me. So, I went to YouTube and I tried to find a fun new dance video. Who doesn't like dancing? I figured someone must have uploaded a fun dance video within the past 24 hours, and we could all just enjoy that and head out into the summer night air, filled with the rush of hope and good times.
This is the best I could find:
Ugh. I guess that'll do, Internet. That'll do?
Posted by Gabe at 6:00 PM in WebJunk
Tags: Dancing | Internet 1.0 | Kids | Positive Mental Attitude
Oh man...
Score = 0
:O
... I don't even know what to say about that.
Score = 2
HEY GABE maybe you should start talking ABOUT THE ART OF BLOGCRAFT (World of Blogcraft? I HAVE A LEVEL 70 HIPSTER. FUCK ANIMAL COLLECTIVES NEW ALBUM HE'S PAST THAT SHIT) because that video makes me PINE FOR the nuclear OPTION.
Score = 35
w o a h
I would have been all smiles but THERE ARE KIDS WATCHING (i hope it's not THEIR mother!) this gal pop it!!! Oh, man, the ramifications!!! These kids will be in tha club by age 7
Glad you're not a permanent resident of GROUCH TOWN; you just telecommute for work
Score = 9
I'm not sure hoping it's not their mother is really making this situation any less creepy. It just means they're watching a woman who's not their mother doing a booty dance in short shorts. Still: ramifications.
Score = 11
Yeah, I just hope it's not THEIR mom so I can sleep tonight...
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Oh. Um. What? I think you missed my.....Ok fine, I hope on all the internet stands for (nothing) that that's not their mother.
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SPOILER ALERT:
I pretended it WAS THEIR mom and slept FUCKIN EX.QUIS.ITE.LY.
Score = 10
Hey, I got my wife those socks last Hanukah!
Score = 36
i'm no doctor, but i'm pretty sure this is self-sabotage...
and i'm no lawnmower man, but i'm pretty sure gabe is pure energy right now.
7/15/09 r.i.p. gabe. never forget.
*heads over to lindsayism for some e-peace and iQuiet*
Score = 18
nothing but ass shaking and mariah carey vids on the internet for days on end? it's a shit life.
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Now hold on there Gabe. Parenting is hard! And those kids just don't teach themselves how to dance.
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This video is relevant to my interests.
Score = 37
Shut it down!
I had avoided whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com until 15 minutes ago. :(
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Bill Cosby Seal of Approval, y'all
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what's the big deal. dancing is dancing. and babies are babies.
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gabe, "get out of here and move forward. this never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."
-don draper
1962
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yes Yes YES!!!! Nice one. Also, Gabe, will you be covering Mad Men when it starts back up soon??
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What's the problem, guys? She showed much decency and modesty by not allowing her face to be shown. What more do you monsters want? For her to blur the KID'S face or something? JEEZ.
Score = 6
Go offline, Gabe. Go offline.
Score = 3
where are yer goddam brains, gabe?
Score = 2
webjunk (in the trunk)
sorry everyone.
also, no more of this. ever.
Score = 8
Try harder. Chris Dane Owens posted stills from his new video.
http://chrisdaneowens.com/3rd_entry.html
See? Not hard.
Score = 1
So I guess this is a casting video for Eat, Love Pray?
But yes, rest is always good and needed Gabe. Good for you for not trying to force it.
Score = 9
when u allow your child to watch u perform whatever that was, THATS A DEALBREAKER LADIES!
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...Mom?
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i'd let my sister go camping with Mickey Rourke before I'd ever let her see this...
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It's okay, Gabe! I hate to sound militaristic, but soldier on! You can do it! Push it to the limit! Et cetera, et cetera...
I have noticed an unusually high reoccurance of certain memes. The painting, exercising, something joke has been made almost every day, I think. Cycle those jokes, maybe? What about the Whoops Ocean? We haven't sailed the Whoops Ocean is a long time. I miss it.
Score = 7
I feel sick
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Be nice you guys, I'm just happy to see that Lindsay is doing something that makes her happy.
Score = 15
Gabe is human, you know, and being the sole provider of content for this site is going to take some getting used to. Patience, people.
Personally, I prefer the Grouch Town angle. After all, Everything Is Terrible.
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You guys are such prudes.
Score = 2
ACK! I got here too late and the video has been removed...guess that WAS their mother.
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