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July 10, 2009

Best New Party Game 5

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These are getting easier and easier, at least as long as Twitter is involved. At some point one hopes/imagines that a non-Twitter-based Best New Party Game will come along that is a little more challenging. Ew, what am I even talking about? A Best New Party Game is about having fun. Challenging? Apparently I'm the dude at the party who's like "I don't want to play Charades. Don't you have a copy of Revolution: The Dutch Revolt 1568-1648 that we could play?" And everyone is like "We called you a cab." You know, parties.

Anyway, this one is easy, like I said. The Twitter hash mark is #1stdraftmovielines. You get it. I'll go first:

"I am feeling very frustrated with the snake situation on this otherwise normal aircraft."
"I would also like to have an orgasm like she is having."
"Why so humorless?"
"Aren't you guys entertained? AREN'T YOU GUYS ENTERTAINED?"
"I...ENJOY...A LITTLE BIT...OF YOUR....FLOAT."

Mega points. In your face.

Your turn.

Posted by Gabe at 12:15 PM in
Tags:




253 Comments

An American Patriot

TODAY, we celebrate this no LONGER AS AN AMERICAN HOLIDAY. TODAY the world celebrates OUR LABOR DAY!


From LABOR DAY: the film, by ROLAND Emmerich.

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link at 07/10/09 12:21 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Nate Scott!

"Would someone please help me quit smoking?"

Posted by: Nate Scott! profile link at 07/10/09 12:23 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Nate Scott!

...from the Dana Carvey classic, The Mask.

Posted by: Nate Scott! profile link in reply to Nate Scott!'s comment at 07/10/09 12:46 PM | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down
Oh, Inverted Penis

Who keeps their eyes open for The Watchmen?

Posted by: Oh, Inverted Penis profile link at 07/10/09 12:23 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

I SIP YOUR MILKSHAKE.

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link at 07/10/09 12:24 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

whoops, I guess Gabe already covered this territory. my bad. how's this:


"What's the most you ever wagered on a game of paper, rock, scissors?" -Anton Chigurh

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link in reply to Boris Grushenko's comment at 07/10/09 1:23 PM | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

I'm becoming too advanced in age to engage in this behavior.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 07/10/09 12:25 PM | Reply
Score = 81 Vote up Vote down

"If you act in your usual offbeat manner in our presence, you reveal your revolver in this bowling establishment, I'll take it away from you, place it in your anal canal and dispense every bullet from the clip."

Posted by: Lyle in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/10/09 1:48 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

revolvers don't have clips. Just sayin.

Posted by: Devin in reply to Lyle's comment at 07/14/09 6:46 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Yippidee Doo Dah, Motherfucker.

Posted by: kittenpants at 07/10/09 12:26 PM | Reply
Score = 83 Vote up Vote down
Oh, Inverted Penis

"This boat's not big enough" -Jaws

Posted by: Oh, Inverted Penis profile link at 07/10/09 12:27 PM | Reply
Score = 57 Vote up Vote down
Teh Cazbar

Could you please say hello to my small buddy?

Posted by: Teh Cazbar profile link at 07/10/09 12:28 PM | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Welcome to scenic Sparta.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 07/10/09 12:28 PM | Reply
Score = 36 Vote up Vote down

Did you observe the consequences of accosting an unfamiliar person's rectum?

Posted by: edzilla at 07/10/09 12:29 PM | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just really getting on my nerves right now."

Posted by: thedudeisrude in reply to edzilla's comment at 07/13/09 5:45 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
Oh, Inverted Penis

"See you soon" -The Terminator

Posted by: Oh, Inverted Penis profile link at 07/10/09 12:29 PM | Reply
Score = 82 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

"brb"

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Oh, Inverted Penis's comment at 07/10/09 12:31 PM | Reply
Score = 65 Vote up Vote down
MusclesMarinara

And suddenly as I lie on my deathbed I think of my childhood sled, "Rosebud".

Posted by: MusclesMarinara profile link at 07/10/09 12:30 PM | Reply
Score = 49 Vote up Vote down
Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

"I'll come back in a little while"
"Are you speaking to me?"
"SHOW ME THE DOLLAR BILLS!"

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link at 07/10/09 12:30 PM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Oh, Inverted Penis

"Guess how much I paid for these Amsterdam Mcnuggets" -Pulp Fiction

Posted by: Oh, Inverted Penis profile link at 07/10/09 12:32 PM | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

Rule numero uno--Please don't talk about Fight Club. Number two--seriously you guys, please don't talk about Fight Club.

Posted by: disgruntled hipster no. 416 at 07/10/09 12:33 PM | Reply
Score = 52 Vote up Vote down

"The only way is to hack your own brain."

...wait

Posted by: Johnny Mnemonic at 07/10/09 12:33 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

Do not think about nor try to amend this situation, Jake. The powerfully corrupt community members of Chinatown will thwart you.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 07/10/09 12:33 PM | Reply
Score = 23 Vote up Vote down
Oh, Inverted Penis

Forget it Jake, it's this neighborhood

Posted by: Oh, Inverted Penis profile link in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/10/09 12:36 PM | Reply
Score = 48 Vote up Vote down
dw

"My father's daughter! My own daughter! ... My father raped me and she is our child!"

Posted by: dw profile link in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/10/09 12:42 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down
dw

"I am quite upset, and I intend to alter my behavior accordingly!"

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 12:34 PM | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down
Lux

" 'Honest to God?' BORING! A teenager would never say that!"
-Diablo Cody

Posted by: Lux profile link at 07/10/09 12:35 PM | Reply
Score = 25 Vote up Vote down
dude

"Go ahead, make my afternoon more pleasent."

Posted by: dude profile link at 07/10/09 12:36 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
Lux

" 'Honest to God?' BORING! A teenager would never say that!"
-Diablo Cody

Posted by: Lux profile link at 07/10/09 12:36 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down
Lux

gaaahhh I think this is the first time this has ever happened to me. I feel irrational shame.

Posted by: Lux profile link in reply to Lux's comment at 07/10/09 12:38 PM | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down
Nate Scott!

"Roads? We are going to fly this car in the sky because of the future."

Posted by: Nate Scott! profile link at 07/10/09 12:38 PM | Reply
Score = 122 Vote up Vote down
Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

"I'M THE EMPEROR OF THE PLANET!"
"I have the desire-THE DESIRE TO MOVE FAST!"
"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to get me to have sex with you. Aren't you?"

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link at 07/10/09 12:38 PM | Reply
Score = 28 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Okay guys, I don't think you're supposed to just reword the lines, you're supposed to make them more polite or something. GET IT RIGHT OR PAY THE PRICE.

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood's comment at 07/10/09 12:45 PM | Reply
Score = -28 Vote up Vote down
Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

Sorry, I'll try and do better. Promise.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link in reply to Carrie's comment at 07/10/09 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

I think the idea is to make them less catchy, not necessarily more polite. Josh's are good!

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link in reply to Carrie's comment at 07/10/09 1:06 PM | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down
hopeleslie

exactly, hence the "1stdrafts"-- josh's work :)

Posted by: hopeleslie profile link in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/10/09 1:18 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Ah, well, sorry. I'm not here to make friends. Also no one got my salute your shorts reference so double :( for me.

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to RobinRubbermaid's comment at 07/10/09 2:41 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

i got your salute your shorts reference. so wipe that frown off your face.

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link in reply to Carrie's comment at 07/10/09 3:28 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Mr. Tribbles

Or: twist that malcontent facial expression around to the opposite, more positive position.

Posted by: Mr. Tribbles profile link in reply to Boris Grushenko's comment at 07/11/09 7:07 AM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down

This thing came apart.

Posted by: Cynic in reply to Carrie's comment at 07/15/09 10:27 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

are you addressing me?

Posted by: Santa at 07/10/09 12:39 PM | Reply
Score = 22 Vote up Vote down
bryan

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're a very viable option and definitely my first choice."

Posted by: bryan profile link at 07/10/09 12:39 PM | Reply
Score = 45 Vote up Vote down
disgruntled hipster no. 416

"There's no place like Kansas"

Posted by: disgruntled hipster no. 416 profile link at 07/10/09 12:41 PM | Reply
Score = 32 Vote up Vote down
dude

"I made him an offer he would never not accept."

Posted by: dude profile link at 07/10/09 12:41 PM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down
trevormail

Life's like a box of chocolates, because I can't see through chocolate and I also can't see the future.

Posted by: trevormail profile link at 07/10/09 12:41 PM | Reply
Score = 65 Vote up Vote down
smiles

"I do not think the outcome of this will be desirable." - Star Wars

"I feel like a monarch who reigns over the entire planet!" - Titanic

And this one doesn't really follow the rules, but still:

"I'm cuckoo..."
"...for Cocoa Puffs." - Kill Bill Vol. 1

Posted by: smiles profile link at 07/10/09 12:41 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
etc

"Assure me that there will be a lot of cash on display!"

Posted by: etc profile link at 07/10/09 12:42 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Henning

"Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo!"

Posted by: Henning profile link at 07/10/09 12:42 PM | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down
Radi0Waves

"Go Ninja Turtle, Go Ninja Turtle, Go!"

Posted by: Radi0Waves profile link at 07/10/09 12:45 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
bryan

"E.T. Twitter home"

Posted by: bryan profile link at 07/10/09 12:46 PM | Reply
Score = -11 Vote up Vote down
Weeam

: ( : ( : (

Posted by: Weeam profile link in reply to bryan's comment at 07/11/09 2:31 AM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
MusclesMarinara

#CharltonHeston1stdrafts:

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, 'I don't like being touched.' So look here monkeys, hands off!" -Planet of the Apes

"Does this taste like people to you?" -Soylent Green

"Look Egyptian king guy, the rest of the Jews and I want outta here!" -Ten Commandments

Posted by: MusclesMarinara profile link at 07/10/09 12:47 PM | Reply
Score = 37 Vote up Vote down
dw

"Megatron is trying to extract information stored in my head. Egad!"

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 12:47 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

when I was six I looked into the sun because my mother had told me not to do that when I had tried to do it before.

Posted by: Maximillian Cohen at 07/10/09 12:48 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
dw

"I do not have a tumor!"

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 12:49 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

"Frankly my dear, i'm not particularly interested."

"Snakes. I can't believe that it's snakes."

"Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... then somebody didn't know i was SPIDERMAN"

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 07/10/09 12:49 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
ber

You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/10/09 12:50 PM | Reply
Score = -12 Vote up Vote down

Don't remember it!

Posted by: PeeperPooper profile link at 07/10/09 12:50 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I only have one query for you: do you feel fortunate?

Posted by: thenaritaline profile link at 07/10/09 12:50 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

"We're going to need a bigger boat! ...You know, because.... that shark. That shark is a really big shark. Too big for this small boat."

Posted by: chris profile link at 07/10/09 12:50 PM | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down
dafs

"This is a terrible place to stop! I saw a whole bunch of bats just a moment ago!"

Posted by: dafs profile link at 07/10/09 12:51 PM | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

Forget it, Jake. It's the section of Los Angeles that is too corrupt to change in any way.

Are you speaking to me? I mean, I'm the only other person here, so I, naturally, assume you are speaking to me.

I consume your egg cream soda! I consume it all into my stomach!

You know how to snap, don't you Steve? You just press your middle finger against your thumb until it hits your palm.

Posted by: PeeperPooper profile link at 07/10/09 12:52 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
TheRealMatt

Forget it, Jake, it's a section of an urban area with a large number of Chinese residents, usually outside of Greater China. Chinatowns are present throughout the world, including those in East Asia, Southeast Asia, North America, South America, Australasia, and Europe.
In the past, crowded Chinatowns in urban areas were seen as places of cultural insularity. Nowadays, many old and new Chinatowns are considered significant centers of commercialism and tourism. Some of them also serve, to varying degrees, as centers of multiculturalism.

Posted by: TheRealMatt profile link in reply to PeeperPooper's comment at 07/10/09 1:59 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"May the midichlorians thrive within you"
"Luke, I got the paternity results back, you're not gonna believe this"
"Play 'As Time Goes By', Sam"

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 12:52 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
vicarhelmet

Funny story, "Play 'As Time Goes By' Sam" is actually the line that's said in the movie. "Play it again, Sam" isn't actually in the movie. It's just the way people remembered it. A lot of quotations that sink into the cultural consciousness are actually misquotes, for some reason.

(Sorry, I know this isn't movietriviagum.com.)

Posted by: vicarhelmet profile link in reply to kathleen11's comment at 07/10/09 7:46 PM | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

that's awesome, i didn't realize he actually said that. i knew "Play it again, Sam" was wrong, but i thought the line was "Play it, Sam". thank you for the correction, i'm a fan of movietriviagum. in order to avoid future embarrassment, i will never ask sam to play anything.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link in reply to vicarhelmet's comment at 07/10/09 9:44 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Deezey

Hey, would you happen to have a cigarette rolled with marijauna?
I do enjoy females with deep orange-red through burnt orange to bright copper colored hair.

-Wooderson

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 07/10/09 12:52 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
Weeam

That's what I enjoy about females in high school, chum: my age increases, while their age remains at a set position.

Posted by: Weeam profile link in reply to Deezey's comment at 07/11/09 2:35 AM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
dw

"I understand, but these can go louder than 10."

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 12:53 PM | Reply
Score = 37 Vote up Vote down
disgruntled hipster no. 416

"Yes, I think capital punishment is suitable for these gentlemen, and I hope they'll get their come-up-ins in the afterlife!"

Posted by: disgruntled hipster no. 416 profile link at 07/10/09 12:54 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
ber

I'm going to supe it up!

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/10/09 12:54 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down
Movie Maven

"No more rhyming now, I ask you."
"Anybody want a cashew?"

Posted by: Movie Maven profile link at 07/10/09 12:54 PM | Reply
Score = 41 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

you are good.

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link in reply to Movie Maven's comment at 07/10/09 1:16 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
zabie

fuckk, i wish i could give this twelve more thumbs-ups.

Posted by: zabie profile link in reply to Movie Maven's comment at 07/18/09 11:47 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I'm going to make him a reasonable offer.

Posted by: goathair at 07/10/09 12:55 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Luke... I had sexual intercourse with your mother.

Posted by: K's at 07/10/09 12:55 PM | Reply
Score = 41 Vote up Vote down

actually....

luke... ummm... there come's a time in a mans life when.... ummm... when a man's loves a woman very much... well.... ummm

Posted by: K's in reply to K's's comment at 07/10/09 2:21 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
dw

"To the outer reaches of the galaxy, and continuing past that!"

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 12:56 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down
Gobblegirl

Are you familiar with the action known as 'whistling', Steve? The instructions are as follows: purse your lips and exhale air through them.

Posted by: Gobblegirl profile link at 07/10/09 12:56 PM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
adrienne

Are you ready for the truth? I don't think you are. I would wait.

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 07/10/09 12:58 PM | Reply
Score = 55 Vote up Vote down

"Yeah, about that Code Red on Pvt. Santiago, not sure you REALLY want to know the answer on that one."

Posted by: Red Itchy Rash at 07/10/09 1:01 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
RobinRubbermaid

We can always think about our time together in Paris.

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid profile link at 07/10/09 1:02 PM | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

"You want the truth? I feel that you don't have the mental capacity to full understand the truth!"

Posted by: Evan at 07/10/09 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down
dw

Do you smell that coagulant, son? It smells great first thing in the morning!

Posted by: dw profile link at 07/10/09 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

"You want the truth? I feel that you don't have the mental capacity to fully understand the truth!"

Posted by: Evan at 07/10/09 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

Eat up, Spartans, because tonight pretty much everything but the Chinese restaurants are probably going to be closed.

Posted by: James at 07/10/09 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Were you to build a baseball diamond, it would be likely that people would attend games.

Posted by: Costner is your god at 07/10/09 1:06 PM | Reply
Score = 37 Vote up Vote down

"This is OUR Arbor Day!" - Bill Pullman

Posted by: Dale Cruse at 07/10/09 1:07 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
Friendly Giant

"I am so busy that I just can't fit bleeding anywhere on my schedule." - Predator.

Posted by: Friendly Giant profile link at 07/10/09 1:09 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I'm sorry Private Lawrence, but I don't allow jelly donuts in my barracks.

Posted by: royce at 07/10/09 1:10 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
kiss the pan

"They call me Mr. Tibbs! But you can call me Virgil."

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 07/10/09 1:10 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
hopeleslie

"Heeeeeeeeere's me with an axe!"

Posted by: hopeleslie profile link at 07/10/09 1:11 PM | Reply
Score = 71 Vote up Vote down
Lulubelle

It's me! Jonny!

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link in reply to hopeleslie's comment at 07/10/09 7:22 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Beardzoid

"Luke, I am the man who slept with your mother in order to create you."

Posted by: Beardzoid profile link at 07/10/09 1:11 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

"I think we're related somehow, Luke" -- star wars

"Very good. Excellent work." -- borat

Posted by: Julia profile link at 07/10/09 1:11 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
sen_tankerbell

You wouldn't happen to know the address of the place where those unique baubles he has come from, do you?

Posted by: sen_tankerbell profile link at 07/10/09 1:12 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Endless hours at the office sacrificing adequate time to pursue enjoyable hobbies ultimately limit one's ability to mingle successfully in social situations.

Posted by: Red Itchy Rash at 07/10/09 1:12 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
CocoNotYoko

The best entertainment Satan ever provided was making the world think I wasn't him. And just like blowing gently into my fingers, he was not there.

Posted by: CocoNotYoko profile link at 07/10/09 1:14 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Beardzoid

"If you build a baseball diamond, people will then come out to see baseball games."

Posted by: Beardzoid profile link at 07/10/09 1:16 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
chickchick

"Toto, I don't recognize any of these landmarks."

Posted by: chickchick profile link at 07/10/09 1:17 PM | Reply
Score = 27 Vote up Vote down

I'm gonna to negotiate an offer thats mutually beneficial to both parties

Posted by: ArchieBunkerIII profile link at 07/10/09 1:19 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man: I get older, they don't."
"Hey, don't knock jerkin off. I love myself."
"Of all the animals, snakes are the worst"

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 1:20 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Hello Adrian.

Posted by: BSteck at 07/10/09 1:20 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
gijyun

"There is one less than five of us here, in Nevada, and we are mammals not unlike foxes, searching for seductive dancers and mood-altering substances much like one might find in soda pops or esspresso." -The Hangover

Posted by: gijyun profile link at 07/10/09 1:21 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

"I'll see you in hell, William Munney" "No. You won't." -Unforgiven

"there's nothing in the rulebooks that says a dog can't play basketball and have adorable puppies that play soccer. I challenge you to find that rule." -Air Bud

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 07/10/09 1:22 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

"Johnathon has arrived!"
"I feel fondness towards that illumination device"

Posted by: TheCapu at 07/10/09 1:23 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
hopeleslie

"Don't hit me with your car, I'm trying to walk across the street here!"

Posted by: hopeleslie profile link at 07/10/09 1:23 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
gijyun

Would you be so kind as to return my wallet? It's the one that's emboridered with "Well-Mannered Gentleman."

Posted by: gijyun profile link at 07/10/09 1:26 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Sharkleberry

I'm totally going to get a wallet that has "Well mannered gentleman" embroidered on it now.

Posted by: Sharkleberry profile link in reply to gijyun's comment at 07/10/09 1:32 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Friendly Giant

"Your knife isn't very big. Look how at how big mine is! I would even say that your knife isn't a real knife."

Posted by: Friendly Giant profile link at 07/10/09 1:27 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF)

You want the truth? I'm warning you, its a real doozy!

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link at 07/10/09 1:27 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Calliwell

"Luke I'm your biological parent!"

Posted by: Calliwell profile link at 07/10/09 1:28 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

"Can you feel my penis tonight?" -The Lioin King

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link at 07/10/09 1:28 PM | Reply
Score = -11 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

Princess Bride revisions:
"Improbable"
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I'm gonna kill you"
"Whatever you want"

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 1:29 PM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Sharkleberry

"I love the smell of the thickener used to coagulate gasoline into a gelatin for military uses in the morning. It smells like, success in battle against insurmountable odds."

Posted by: Sharkleberry profile link at 07/10/09 1:30 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
fatmanj

Da 92+ comments means all da videogummers are smarts and funnys! i'll try!

"I'm really Spartacus, you guys"

look, i even put da 'you guys' dat da gabe and lindsay (R.I.P.) put in everyting dey write!

Posted by: fatmanj profile link at 07/10/09 1:31 PM | Reply
Score = -36 Vote up Vote down
Friendly Giant

We called you a cab.

Posted by: Friendly Giant profile link in reply to fatmanj's comment at 07/10/09 1:37 PM | Reply
Score = 63 Vote up Vote down

"Hey, yikes!"
Midnight Cowboy

Posted by: Dave at 07/10/09 1:31 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Just a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup.

Posted by: HoldingOut at 07/10/09 1:38 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

THANK YOU for giving me the name of my new shoegaze band.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex in reply to HoldingOut's comment at 07/11/09 9:30 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Coffee is for those who make a successful real estate transaction.
My watch cost more than your watch.

Posted by: enno at 07/10/09 1:40 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Calliwell

"Please moisturize your skin!"

Posted by: Calliwell profile link at 07/10/09 1:40 PM | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

"One time...at a retreat for the school marching band....I masturbated with a wind instrument."

Posted by: Vertical at 07/10/09 1:46 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

This mortal coil is similar to a collection of confectionary made from cocoa, fat and sugar.

Posted by: Jen profile link at 07/10/09 1:46 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Becca

I'm a petroleum man.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 07/10/09 1:46 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
ber

He's too homosexual to operate.

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/10/09 1:47 PM | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"Baseball is not about crying"
"My surname is Bond. My full name is James Bond."
"To be honest with you, honey, I don't give a care"
"You know what goes human liver? Fava beans and a nice chianti"
"Houston, we're gonna need a bigger spaceship."

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 1:48 PM | Reply
Score = 31 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"I swear to god, HAL. If you don't open the pod bay doors, I am turning this ship around."

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 1:54 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

"You are causing me to feel much emotional turmoil, Lisa!"

Posted by: Tommy at 07/10/09 1:55 PM | Reply
Score = 25 Vote up Vote down
Doctor, PhD

Or rather, "You're tearing me apart, Lisa!"

That whole movie was first draft.

Posted by: Doctor, PhD profile link in reply to Tommy's comment at 07/10/09 4:41 PM | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down
Lulubelle

Please do not concern yourself about it!

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link in reply to Doctor, PhD's comment at 07/10/09 7:26 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Weeam

"I got the results of the test back, it would appear that I have a lump in my breast."

Posted by: Weeam profile link in reply to Tommy's comment at 07/11/09 2:40 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
simonsays

"Houston, we're totally freaking out up here man, everything's fucked!"

Posted by: simonsays profile link at 07/10/09 1:59 PM | Reply
Score = 25 Vote up Vote down

"Hey mister, where did I park my auto?"

Posted by: Jared profile link at 07/10/09 2:12 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
sinkfloridasink

"Vodka martini - shaken, not stirred. On second thought, I'm driving. I'll just have a soda."

Posted by: sinkfloridasink profile link at 07/10/09 2:15 PM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Run Run Riot

There is always The Room Sequel Game

http://knowledgementco.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/the-room-sequel-game/

Posted by: Run Run Riot profile link at 07/10/09 2:20 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you have a gimpy shooting arm? Like I do.

Posted by: Sam at 07/10/09 2:26 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Teh Cazbar

Kindly, may you please return my stapler.

Posted by: Teh Cazbar profile link at 07/10/09 2:27 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
dualistic

"Pace yourself Forest, pace yourself!"

Posted by: dualistic profile link at 07/10/09 2:40 PM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down

One time, at band camp, I stuck a tuba in my pussy.

Posted by: Sam at 07/10/09 2:51 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down
The Life of the Mind

"Frankly, my dear, I am just not particularly interested in what you have to say at this moment in time."
"Here I am, looking at you, kid."

Posted by: The Life of the Mind profile link at 07/10/09 2:52 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

There are so many bars everywhere! I wonder why she chose to come to mine?
-Casablanca

Posted by: boo at 07/10/09 2:55 PM | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

"Of all the nightclubs that exist in the universe, she walks into the one that I own and run."

"Louis, I think this is the start of a nice amiable relationship."

Posted by: Laur profile link in reply to boo's comment at 07/10/09 3:23 PM | Reply
Score = -5 Vote up Vote down
Its Got Raisins In It

"It contains grapes, you know how you really enjoy grapes!?!"

Posted by: Its Got Raisins In It profile link at 07/10/09 3:03 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Deezey

Please pay me the $2.00 you owe for delivery of the newspaper.

Posted by: Deezey profile link in reply to Its Got Raisins In It's comment at 07/10/09 3:34 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

"Oh no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was falling off the Empire State Building what killed the Beast."

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 07/10/09 3:04 PM | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down
brendan

"Nobody puts Baby in the section of the room where the walls intersect!"

Posted by: brendan profile link at 07/10/09 3:04 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
devin

I...WILL...MAKE BILL...NOT LIVE ANYMORE

Posted by: devin profile link at 07/10/09 3:05 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
dualistic

"Frankly my dear, I'm beginning to emotionally detach myself from the situation.

Posted by: dualistic profile link at 07/10/09 3:05 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Thomas, you'd better go back to your house right now and get the box in which you keep your shoe-shining equipment.

Posted by: shmarly at 07/10/09 3:06 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
brendan

"You engage in intercourse in a satisfactory manner."
(Showgirls)

Posted by: brendan profile link at 07/10/09 3:08 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
devin

excuse me, but how did this doll get burned? i really must insist you tell me how this got burned... for the last time, please explain to me how this doll got burned!

Posted by: devin profile link at 07/10/09 3:12 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
devin

Excuse, but could you explain to me how this doll got burned? Please, ma'am, if you wouldnt mind offering an explanation on how this got burned... I really must insist that you tell me how this got burned!

Posted by: devin profile link at 07/10/09 3:16 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/02/15/happening-trailer-wahlberg.jpg

THE FLORALS ARE QUITE UNHAPPY

Posted by: james at 07/10/09 3:16 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"Humanity is inherently terrible, humanity is inherently terrible."

alternatively, "Scary, really scary"

Posted by: megt profile link at 07/10/09 3:18 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Deezey

Badges? We do not have badges! We do not require badges! I am not obligated to show you any badges.

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 07/10/09 3:40 PM | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

I'm on the front of a boat, Jack! I'm on the front of a boat!

Posted by: Hannah profile link at 07/10/09 3:42 PM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down
Deezey

I have a desire...a desire to go quite fast.

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 07/10/09 3:48 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
dualistic

"Luke, your mother has invited me to be on the Maury Povich show."

Posted by: dualistic profile link at 07/10/09 3:50 PM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
incredimarc

"Yo Andrea!"

"My fucking name is Adrian, is that your speech impediment? Are your brains so rattled that you can't remember my fucking name? I'm not sure this relationship can withstand five more phases of your boxing career."

"Yo, sorry. What is it again? Allison? Yo."

"Did you get Carl Weathers' phone number while you were fighting?"

Posted by: incredimarc profile link at 07/10/09 3:53 PM | Reply
Score = -5 Vote up Vote down
Deezey

I wish I knew of a way to stop having homosexual relations with you.

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 07/10/09 3:55 PM | Reply
Score = 31 Vote up Vote down
trevormail

Being in love basically means you don't ever really have to apologize.

Posted by: trevormail profile link at 07/10/09 4:00 PM | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

I'm assuming Zed was murdered, baby. Murdered by Marcellus Wallace, whom Zed sodomized violently.

Posted by: Butch Coolidge at 07/10/09 4:04 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Krazy8ths

I'm sorry. Was that comment directed at me? We're you directing your comment toward me? I'm not really sure if that could have been directed toward anyone besides me. I am the only other person here. Just exactly who are you trying to communicate with here?

Posted by: Krazy8ths profile link at 07/10/09 4:06 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

This is what happens when you really inconvenience somebody you don't know.

Posted by: krilla profile link at 07/10/09 4:19 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"You have chosen.....a cup that is not the cup that was used by Jesus."

Posted by: Seitz profile link at 07/10/09 4:20 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
dude

"Here is the host of NBC's "TheTonight Show'!"

Posted by: dude profile link at 07/10/09 4:23 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
cizmad

And that is the manner in which Regina George met her demise. Nay, I jest! She was, however, injured most grievously.

Posted by: cizmad profile link at 07/10/09 4:28 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
cizmad

Yeah, I don't think I did that right. : (

Trying again:

"I'd rather be at home! I'd rather be at home! I'd rather be at home!"

Posted by: cizmad profile link in reply to cizmad's comment at 07/10/09 4:42 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
dude

"Have you and Lucifer ever executed coreographed movements in the dim glow of Earth's natural satellite?"

Posted by: dude profile link at 07/10/09 4:32 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Please tell the team to earn a victory on behalf of me, George Gip.

Steve, do you know how to whistle? Just expell air through your pursed lips, using your mouth as a resonant chamber.

Hey guys, chill out, this room's for planning police actions.

Posted by: fearlessweaver at 07/10/09 4:33 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Surely you can;t be serious
I am...and don't call me Leslie

Posted by: Matthew at 07/10/09 4:43 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
elliosenor

I'm going to make him a really, really good offer. Like, so good, he can't refuse it.

Posted by: elliosenor profile link at 07/10/09 4:48 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
elliosenor

You know, napalm smells pretty good when you're waking up.

Posted by: elliosenor profile link at 07/10/09 4:51 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
elliosenor

You know, I've got this scoop about the contents of Soylent Green that you'd never believe!

Posted by: elliosenor profile link at 07/10/09 4:54 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

I'm not very happy with this situation, and I'm will not continue to let it happen.

Posted by: Gregorious II at 07/10/09 4:54 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

"I'm going to extend to you an option for a course of action. I will further make it evident to you how imperative it is that you choose this course of action. You will agee because of this imperative. It is not possible to do otherwise."

"Veracity is something that you are unable to stomach."

"Greet my small companion that is actually a machine gun."

"I will return shortly, probably in a stolen car that I will drive into your desk and crush you with"

"yippee kai yay, man who repeadly committs maternal incest. "

Posted by: Scappy at 07/10/09 5:19 PM | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down
joy

165 comments makes me just scroll through and see which ones everyone else already up voted. :( sorry everyone else

Posted by: joy profile link at 07/10/09 5:33 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

"This goes to eleven"
"Why wouldn’t you just have 10 be the top number, and make that a little louder?"
"You know what, you're right. That would've made sense too."

Posted by: AlexH at 07/10/09 5:42 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"I drink your milkshake! Unless it's strawberry"

Posted by: Dan at 07/10/09 5:47 PM | Reply
Score = -7 Vote up Vote down

"I drink your milkshake! Unless it's strawberry"

Posted by: Dan at 07/10/09 5:47 PM | Reply
Score = -13 Vote up Vote down

"I drink your milkshake, unless it's strawberry! Or mint."

Posted by: Dan at 07/10/09 5:48 PM | Reply
Score = -18 Vote up Vote down
Funtastik

I think you've had enough of my milkshake now.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link in reply to Dan's comment at 07/10/09 7:28 PM | Reply
Score = 36 Vote up Vote down
ladders

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries was heaven.

Posted by: ladders profile link at 07/10/09 6:48 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

"Mr. Demille, I believe I am prepared for you to zoom the lense of the camera closer to my face."

Posted by: aria at 07/10/09 6:51 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Lulubelle

For the love of God, please use wooden or padded hangers when putting away your clothes!

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link at 07/10/09 7:27 PM | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

"Can I use your telephone? I need to phone home." - ET

Posted by: zach at 07/10/09 7:35 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
zach

I can't quit having gay sex with you.

Posted by: zach profile link at 07/10/09 7:46 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
vicarhelmet

You ever dance with the devil in the broad daylight?

Posted by: vicarhelmet profile link at 07/10/09 7:56 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

This shit is pretty simple, a child can figure it out, my darling Watson.

Posted by: sandy sicko at 07/10/09 8:00 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
vicarhelmet

Funny? What do you mean I'm funny? Funny like a stand up comedian?

Posted by: vicarhelmet profile link at 07/10/09 8:03 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
neptuneflame

"My services were not even required at this location, on this date!"

Posted by: neptuneflame profile link at 07/10/09 9:01 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Roosevelt Franklin

I just found out my girlfriend really likes to give fellatio!

Posted by: Roosevelt Franklin profile link in reply to neptuneflame's comment at 07/11/09 1:17 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
PajamaSquid

You may be capable of handling the truth but probably not!

Posted by: PajamaSquid profile link at 07/10/09 10:19 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"this is all your fault, Fredo"

Posted by: theBigHrabosky profile link at 07/10/09 10:34 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

The Lord, our Savior, intervened and changed the flight path of that projectile!

Posted by: roark at 07/10/09 11:06 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

"I'm gonna make him an offer he's probably not going to say no to."
"Houston, we have a malfunction in the spaceship we're flying in."
"Snakes. I've got a really serious phobia of snakes."
"Momma always said life is like a box of Nerds."
"Go get your box of shoe shining tools, Johnny! Go get your box of shoe shining tools!"
"Luke, I don't know if you've figured this out yet but we're related."
"LEAVEN-WORTH! LEAVEN-WORTH!"
"I wish I knew how to stop having gay sex on camping trips with you."
"GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!"

Posted by: eric. at 07/10/09 11:39 PM | Reply
Score = -6 Vote up Vote down
Marcus

We have to return to the island we got lost on, Kate. We have to return to it!

Posted by: Marcus profile link at 07/11/09 12:45 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"A rose would smell pretty similar if you called it something that isn't a rose"
"You know how to whistle, don't you? It's like queefing with your mouth"
"There are two types of men in this world, those who have a gun, and those who dig. Now hold my gun while I dig."

Posted by: goddamn. profile link at 07/11/09 12:48 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Young miss? Hi, I'm a policeman. I'm actually in a hurry, so I'm sorry to press you so, but I find this to be an urgent situation. As you can see, I have a small doll in my hands. The peculiar thing about this doll is, uh, you see, it's a bit burned. I'm not sure how this damage occurred. So, uh, this is what I am asking you about. Would you, by any chance, know how this doll I have received its particular fire damage? Again, I'm sorry for the urgency with which I request your answer, but I really am in a hurry. Thanks a bunch!

Posted by: Colin at 07/11/09 12:54 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Pardon my ignorance, but someone want to tell me what this burned doll movie is?

Posted by: confused in reply to Colin's comment at 07/11/09 1:26 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
bryan

The Wicker Man - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

Posted by: bryan profile link in reply to confused's comment at 07/11/09 2:41 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Weeam

"I'll never loosen my grip on your hand and let you sink to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, Jack! I'll never loosen my grip on your hand and let you sink to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean!"

Posted by: Weeam profile link at 07/11/09 4:02 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"I cant do that, dane cook"

Posted by: five inches but its thick at 07/11/09 4:54 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
oh_comely

"You are a halve of me."

"Here, take my headphones and listen to this song. I don't know that it will cange your life, but it's really pretty good."

Posted by: oh_comely profile link at 07/11/09 6:00 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

That is not a moon, that is a space craft.

Posted by: Jimma at 07/11/09 1:41 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Roosevelt Franklin

"What are you going to do today Napoleon?"
"Whatever the fuck I wanna do, goddammit!"

Posted by: Roosevelt Franklin profile link at 07/11/09 2:14 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

you know that time we initially engaged, I felt attracted to you fairly instantly. I can't remember what you said it was a relatively standard greeting, though.

Jerry Maguire.

Posted by: joey at 07/11/09 3:22 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

"When you've got to take a doodie when a T-Rex is hunting you, you've got to take a doodie when a T-Rex is after you." -Dr. Ian Macolm

Posted by: drosenb profile link at 07/11/09 5:02 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

"When you've got to take a doodie when a T-Rex is hunting you, you've got to take a doodie when a T-Rex is after you." -Dr. Ian Macolm

Posted by: drosenb profile link at 07/11/09 5:03 PM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

"Rub the wax on with one hand and then wipe it off with the other."
"Never let the beams intersect."
"You're ending my life smalls.'

Posted by: tronrobo profile link at 07/11/09 6:04 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

'what we have here are some problems understanding each other.'
also,
'this is my rifle, this is my gun... this is for fighting, and this is for fighting, too.' and
'i will gouge out your eyes, and then you won't be able to see anymore

Posted by: kov at 07/11/09 7:41 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

PLEASE BE QUIET DONNY!!

Posted by: Honch at 07/11/09 8:24 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
heymister

8:24 PM. spooky.

Posted by: heymister profile link in reply to Honch's comment at 07/11/09 8:27 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"Did we just become closer friends?"

Posted by: Honch in reply to heymister's comment at 07/11/09 8:32 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
heymister

"Immediately refrain from speaking, Donny."
"This is what happens when you sodomize a person you do not know."
"I don't like your masturbation name. I don't like your masturbation face. I don't like your masturbation behavior, and I don't like you, masturbator."

Posted by: heymister profile link at 07/11/09 8:24 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
mjwalrus

"My Other Foot"

Posted by: mjwalrus profile link at 07/12/09 12:38 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"The review for "Shark Sandwich" was a really short review which simply read "Not A Very Tasty Sandwich".

Posted by: chrischke at 07/12/09 7:52 AM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

[Jesse and Chester have tattoos on their backs that say "dude" and "sweet."]
Jesse: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Chester: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Jesse: Your tattoo spells the word "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: Your tattoo spells the word "Dude!"

CUT!!

Posted by: chrischke at 07/12/09 7:55 AM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

The truth would both shock and confuse you, and honestly, I'd advise against telling you it.

Posted by: agpt profile link at 07/12/09 11:55 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

The truth would both shock and confuse you, and honestly, I'd advise against telling you it.

Posted by: agpt profile link at 07/12/09 11:57 AM | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

sand people are afraid of things, but they'll come back with more of their friends.

Posted by: mike at 07/12/09 11:58 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Frankly, My dear, I dgaf

Posted by: Daydreamnation90 at 07/12/09 4:11 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"I love my son, despite the fact he is a deceased homosexual."
"In the direction we are headed, roads would just be useless."
"You make me less of an incomplete person."

Posted by: Elizabeth at 07/12/09 4:23 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
the dust collector

this stuff just got more realistic

Posted by: the dust collector profile link at 07/12/09 10:01 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
the dust collector

what is that thing in the box.

Posted by: the dust collector profile link at 07/12/09 10:16 PM | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down
heywoodjewbrome

"These magic mushrooms taste like magic mushrooms." -Supertroopers

Posted by: heywoodjewbrome profile link at 07/13/09 12:27 AM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
heymister

"quickly get yourself to the helicopter."

Posted by: heymister profile link at 07/13/09 1:46 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"Snakes? Of all the reptilian guardians of ancient Christian treasures buried beneath the sand, why did said reptilian guardians have to be snakes?"

"Lots of long time baseball fans looking to reminisce about their childhood are going to travel to your farm/baseball field, Ray."

Posted by: Mark profile link at 07/13/09 10:49 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"This is not a story about love, it's a story about defaming the Smiths."

Posted by: Derek at 07/13/09 11:42 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"So It's fortunate that the Lama said that. Don't you agree?"

Posted by: shpantz at 07/13/09 12:28 PM | Reply
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ThatSpencerGuy

Pardon me, but Johnny is here.

Posted by: ThatSpencerGuy profile link at 07/13/09 9:21 PM | Reply
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BodyKarate

YOU'RE IN SPARTA!!!

Posted by: BodyKarate profile link at 07/13/09 9:53 PM | Reply
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All work and no leisure time makes Jack a very boring manchild.

Posted by: ThreeWolfMoon at 07/14/09 2:35 AM | Reply
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We are the knights who say nonsense words!

Posted by: nicolas cage in a bear suit profile link at 07/14/09 5:32 PM | Reply
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I'm angry. I will return home now and masticate my pillow!

Posted by: jonb profile link at 07/14/09 7:04 PM | Reply
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"i am not an elephant!"

Posted by: firmhandshake at 07/14/09 11:17 PM | Reply
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Would you care to assist me Obi Wan Kenobi? Considering you're my only hope to get off of this desolate, planet sized death ray.

Posted by: Ian at 07/15/09 1:22 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

No one shall be left out of the impending sexual intercourse!

Posted by: Kalman at 07/15/09 11:16 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I kill you." - Jules Winnfield.

Posted by: Mapinguari at 07/15/09 12:00 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Hi friends! I was under the impression we were celebrating! Let us rhythmically gyrate!

Posted by: Ren McCormick at 07/15/09 6:00 PM | Reply
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mattbern

Ghost Busters are the people who you are going to call!

Posted by: mattbern profile link at 07/15/09 10:17 PM | Reply
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"look what you did now, Kevin"
"oh no, i'm afraid because my family appears to have disapeared"
"owch, this after shave sure does sting my young cheeks"
"yikes, that neighbor guy that Spike told me cut up his family with a shovel sure is scary"
"sliding on the ice to escape from a cop that is chasing me because i stole a toothbrush sure is fun"
"KEVIN! is still at home, we should try to return to the greater Chicago area from France as soon as possible"
"keep the change, business associate"
-Hpme Alone

Posted by: mollyq at 07/16/09 2:06 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
isaidwhat25

"Please be quiet, Donny!"
"A while ago, in a galaxy that's somewhere over there, I think."
"Get away from her, you b-word!"
"Mrs. Robinson are you, by any chance, trying to get sexy with me?"
"I'm pretty angry, and I don't know about you, but I don't plan on continuing to take it!

Posted by: isaidwhat25 profile link at 07/16/09 4:54 AM | Reply
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"I said, did you happen to notice a sign on my lawn that said 'Depository for Deceased African Americans'?"

"Am I responsible for that recent debacle?"

"YOU....SHALL NOT...GO BEYOND THIS POINT!!!"

Posted by: keithbethea at 07/16/09 11:32 AM | Reply
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Please, cease terrorizing this young, grimy orphan I discovered in this devastated space colony, you female jerk!

Posted by: tom at 07/16/09 5:24 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Get your tiny fins off of me, you damned dirty sea monkey.

Posted by: Jeremy Hornik at 07/16/09 11:35 PM | Reply
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"Always wager on African American." -Passenger 57

Posted by: joel at 07/17/09 3:27 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I believe that the Vietnamese Soldiers do not enjoy surfing as much as we do.

Posted by: Xander at 07/17/09 8:25 AM | Reply
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"You finish me." - Jerry Maguire
"I was willing to be with you at the beginning of the sentence." Jerry Maguire
"Johnny is in the vicinity!" -The Shining
"The people I see are unalive." - The Sixth Sens

Posted by: michael at 07/18/09 5:02 AM | Reply
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Tonight we dine in a quaint little bed & breakfast.

Posted by: alcapwned at 07/18/09 8:21 AM | Reply
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  • Founder/Editor-In-Chief: Scott Lapatine
  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
  • Executive Editor: Amrit Singh

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You Can Make It Up logo
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: The Terminator Trap

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After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Funny Games

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Monsters' Ball logo
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat...

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Double Dog logo
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.

Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A "Just Jack" Tshirt

The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...

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