Some Predictions For Gossip Girl Season 3
- Chuck Bass dips into the Bass fortune to open his own chain of infused-smoothie stores, going head to head with Jambo's Juice (CEO revealed in final episode with cameo by Breckin Meyer).
- Serena Van Der Woodsen is found decapitated in her bed, with no sign of forced entry, and all of the blood neatly drained from her body. Special agents are called in to investigate. One of them is very open to the possibility of paranormal activity, and one of them is very skeptical.
- Blair Waldorf gets pregnant. Chuck, Nate, Dan, Jenny, the mean girls, Wallace Shawn, Lily, Rufus, all pace nervously in the waiting room. When it turns out that the baby is black, a fight breaks out.
- Dan Humphrey is also found decapitated in his bed. No one bothers to investigate.
- Jenny Humphrey drops out of school (again!) to pursue a romantic relationship with Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows. He files a restraining order, and during the trial it is found that Jenny is clinically psychotic. She is institutionalized at a private hospital and has to start at the bottom of the social ladder all over again.
- Rufus Humphrey and Lily Rhodes Van Der Woodsen make a suicide pact after their two children are found decapitated in their beds. Lily overdoses on sleeping pills and is later found in a pool of vomit and champagne in a $7,000 ball gown on the roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Rufus doesn't end up committing suicide, because he isn't sure if he's ready.
- In the season finale, Nate Archibald wakes up, and it turns out it was all just a dream. "That's the last time I ever eat raw oysters right before bed HAHAHAHA," Nate says. "Round Here" by the Counting Crows plays over the end credits.
Posted by Gabe at 5:15 PM in Wait For It..., What America Wants
Tags: Blair Waldorf | Blake Lively | Chace Crawford | Chuck Bass | Dan Humphrey | Ed Westwick | Gossip Girl | Jenny Humphrey | Leighton Meester | Nate Archibald | Penn Badgley | Serena Van Der Woodsen | Taylor Momsen
What about Vanessa?!
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What ABOUT Vanessa?
Right?
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I saw that! You turned your comment into a reply!
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Ethnic print peasant blouses and plastic earrings can only take you so far!
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She makes a "documentary".
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Ohh make that last one true, please!
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Someone just watched Exorcist III.
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Imagine the antics that would ensue if Dan Quinn were to drop by with a blender full of sweet pure H20 with the curative powers of stevia! Worlds been had colliding!
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Or the antics of you... because you don't care whose feelings you hurt. Fuck you.
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Uhhh... what? Did I miss something here?
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Huh?
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Did you somehow cut his heart with your love without realizing it?
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Well, I do have an abundant supply of razor-sharp love. Perhaps I give of it too freely.
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I think you might have an IRL stalker here, Godsauce. Maybe you should look into that.
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Jesus effing Christ, it took me until just now to realize what you're gif is from. I'm simultaneously filled with warm nostalgia and pissed at myself for not noticing it much earlier. Now I've gotta go pick up Yukon Ho! again.
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Wow, really? It took that long? I had the same feeling when I recognized it, so I feel for ya. You can borrow one of my books if you want.
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Uhg... BTW, is your avatar a nazi or a communist. Get your history up and running. You're saddening to me.
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It's Papa Smurf. Even without the Soviet flag, he's clearly a communist. I assume the confusion stems from your simplistically equating the German language with Nazism. As it happens, the text of my avatar is in German because the image originated on a German-language website, but it turns out that lots of communists under Soviet hegemony spoke German. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with East Germany or its precursor, the Soviet Zone of Occupied Germany. You see, there was this thing called the Cold War, really just a footnote in 20th century history, so you may have missed it. That's okay, I didn't really expect you to think before posting.
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Shut THIS SHOW down!
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Please tell me that "the figure" in chapter 1 is Istanbul right? Please tell me that's who he is and that you've written him as some sort of pseudo-embodiment of nihilism. That would be amazing.
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Someone watched the Big Lebowski too many times.
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Freshman year is so much harder than being seniors in high school, you guys!!!@*&! SO much homework X(
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these character are getting more and more annoying.. no?
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You might be kinda close with the drug overdose plot line. Have they done that yet?
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Please oh please oh please let all of these be true.
Also, I would like to predict that before Lily violently kills herself, she gay-marries Dorota so that she can keep up her streak of normal-complicated-normal last names. Lily Rhodes Van Der Woodsen Bass Kishlovsky. Done and done.
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if the second prediction comes true, i'll start watching this show. mulder and scully need to redeem themselves after the last movie.
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They should have a Dexter crossover with him doing all of the killings and blood-splatter analysis.
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I have never watched this Gossipping Girlz television program, but I still found this post entertaining. Hats off to you, Gabe.
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Jenny still has that same god-awful haircut, I see. I was hoping we were done with that.
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Why stop at the hair? I was hoping we were done with Jenny altogether...
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CHAIR 4 LYFE
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