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November 12, 2009

Call Me Mr. Cool Dad

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Hi, son. You're probably pretty surprised to hear from me haha. I want you to know that even though we've been estranged over these past few years, that not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Regardless of what I have said to you, regardless of what you have said to me, you are still my son, you will always be my son, and I will always love you. Oh boy, where to start?! You know, so much time has passed at this point that it's almost silly to try and play catch up. Not yet. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to a day soon where we can sit together, father and son, and tell each other everything. I want to know what you are up to these days. I want to meet the man that you have become. But for now, I just want to bridge the gap between us, which I fear we have both let grow far too wide. Anyway, maybe I'm being sentimental, but I remember how you always used to love Metallica, so I made you a video that I think you might enjoy.

Daddy loves you! Noting else matters.

Posted by Gabe at 4:05 PM in
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32 Comments

HELP! The soul of a 13-year old metal head is trapped in this older Indian man

Posted by: HarshBrowns profile link at 11/12/09 4:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

You've reached the Seance Hotline. All operators are busy trying to conjure Michael Jackson for British television. Please try your request at a later time.

Posted by: Devin profile link  in reply to  HarshBrowns's comment at 11/12/09 4:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

What, is this guy gettin a fuckin sitcom development deal, too? FML

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 11/12/09 4:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I don't really have anything to say about this besides that I love it.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link at 11/12/09 4:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

This guy can really hammett up, am I right, guys?
Heh heh... uh...
Alright fine! I'll admit it.
My work computer has blocked me from seeing this video.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Posted by: KajusX profile link at 11/12/09 4:16 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

Well I'm home and I'm following up on my comment.
I've just watched this old man crooning with all his heart, and I must say...
This guy can really HAMMETT up, am I right?!
Nothing else matters.

Posted by: KajusX profile link  in reply to  KajusX's comment at 11/12/09 8:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

You know, to be honest, I'd rather hear this guy than Metallica any day. Throw in Miley Cyrus, Fred Durst, Nickleback and let this man have his due. It really can't be any worse, and at least he's singing from the heart.

Posted by: Bubbles profile link at 11/12/09 4:16 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Dear Dad:

Thank you for the email and video you sent me. And I'm sorry for your speech impediment. But what really gives the video class is that you recorded it in the bathroom of our old house.

Sincerely, Joesomebody.

Posted by: I Like A Skinny Tie profile link at 11/12/09 4:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

"You're probably pretty surprised to hear from me haha." Gabe just gets it.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 11/12/09 4:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

I thought for a second that my dad had actually been asked by Gabe to guest-post. I was feeling genuinely guilty.

Then I thought, maybe Gabe just hacked my email and found any of the archived (ignored - we're all bad sons/daughters!) messages from my dad. I disregarded that thought when there wasn't any mention of how the extermination business was going, or how the switch from analog to digital changed his life.

Posted by: incredimarc profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 11/12/09 6:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

If I did that people would just laugh at me.

Posted by: batteredgnome profile link at 11/12/09 4:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

It's that same old story we've all heard a million times. Back in Pakistan, he's a brain surgeon. But he comes to America, so-called land of opportunity, and the only jobs available to him are cab driver or heavy metal vlogger.

Posted by: Lord Growing profile link at 11/12/09 4:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down

he's so genuinely sincere (and, oddly, only with the lyrics. he in no way feels the music itself.) that it sort of makes me feel bad for the lot of love i gave him.

and, he solicits album proposals? can we brainstorm this? i nominate wish you were here, but only if we could watch him the entire time.

Posted by: astro profile link at 11/12/09 4:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Lars Ulrich is already on the phone with his lawyer, drafting up some cease and desist letters. Get it? Because he's a litigious asshole.

Posted by: Skillet profile link at 11/12/09 4:24 PM  | Reply
Score = 25 Vote up Vote down

That intro paragraph was as depressing as the video was loltastic. I have to go call my dad now sorry.

Posted by: hlebtastic profile link at 11/12/09 4:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

heads-up, Gabe. This isn't a videogram to his son. It's his "Demolisher" tryout video. Down to him and Bivins from what I hear.

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 11/12/09 4:30 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Bivins and "Mr. Cool dad" would be one hell of a singing duo. Cool dad can hit the harmonies while Bivins shreds his vocal chords. These guys are going to give The Beatles a run for their money.

Posted by: RTony profile link  in reply to  whoa!'s comment at 11/12/09 4:38 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Freebird!

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link at 11/12/09 4:32 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I love how he looks like he is going to start singing for the first minute of the video.

Posted by: DW8807 profile link at 11/12/09 4:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

What kind of D.r is missing his two front teeth?

Posted by: Kira profile link at 11/12/09 4:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Ha! That's your doctor.

Posted by: dude profile link at 11/12/09 4:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

He's trying to hypnotize me with his head tilting. Back and forth. Back and forth. MUST. LOOK. AWAY.

Posted by: Pizza profile link at 11/12/09 5:04 PM  | Reply
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Woah! Great minds!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  Pizza's comment at 11/12/09 5:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Woah! Doublepost!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 11/12/09 5:10 PM  | Reply
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Oh, for... Andrew, don't interrupt!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  petepetepete's comment at 11/12/09 5:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

The shifting and head-tilting for the first minute or so was hypnotic.

Posted by: petepetepete profile link at 11/12/09 5:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

This is awesome. A less than optimal rendition, but awesome nonetheless.

Posted by: cubiclechaos profile link at 11/12/09 5:09 PM  | Reply
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His constant blinknig and horizontal head-banging got me thinking, maybe he isn't really filmimg his exuding passion for Metallica, as much as he's documenting the side effects of listening to said band.

Posted by: This Here Giraffe profile link at 11/12/09 9:26 PM  | Reply
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I like Gabe's post, because after watching the video, it made me think that this crazy, old, senile, and dementia ridden man thought he was my father and that i at some point in my life liked Metallica. You're crazy Fake Dad! I don't know you!

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 11/13/09 1:21 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

this is why i come to this site. when he started singing, my laughter sounded like five hundred Today Show sneezing girls.

Posted by: itsahotdog! profile link at 11/13/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

And no one else has pointed out that he seems to have recorded this while on the shitter. Good job multi-tasking, Dad.

Posted by: aftershock profile link at 11/13/09 12:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Oh good - there are credits at the end of the video. Classy.

Posted by: d-w profile link at 11/13/09 2:29 PM  | Reply
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