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November 10, 2009

This Is Your Rapper: Joe Somebody

This guy is so gully that his language is NOT EVEN SAFE FOR WORK, son! Y'heard! Headphones UP!

Streets is going crazy for this one. Dude threw another dude in the ocean (the ocean!) because he owed him money! Which is not that easy to do from Ottowa, when you think about it. YA SOAKED! (Via DJ Dougg Pound.)

Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in
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60 Comments

Salad Fingers raps!

Posted by: hotspur profile link at 11/10/09 3:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

and based on the lyrics Strong Bad is writing for him

Posted by: HarshBrowns profile link  in reply to  hotspur's comment at 11/10/09 4:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

And his lips move less than Jeff Dunham's.

Posted by: aftershock profile link  in reply to  HarshBrowns's comment at 11/11/09 1:19 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I find it hard to comment on this video, because it will surely never match up to the deconstructions provided by the YouTube comments.
For as the great critic josholiver09 himself said: "haha dude got down syndrome, lol"

Posted by: TheCapu profile link at 11/10/09 3:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

Sorry, did i say "josholiver09"? I meant "your boyfriend". Just wanted to clear that up.

Posted by: TheCapu profile link  in reply to  TheCapu's comment at 11/10/09 3:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Although our friend josholiver09 does have a good point, I'm more inclined to side with the somewhat controversial statement of utaputa: "Dat witch hat iz off da chain homey."

Posted by: Clare profile link  in reply to  TheCapu's comment at 11/10/09 3:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

And then there's this reworking of his video. And somebody (get it?) cares enough about little baby xanax to have made a dis rap about him.

Posted by: aftershock profile link  in reply to  TheCapu's comment at 11/11/09 2:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

He looks like is about to cry!


Someone give him a hug!

Posted by: ThatSpencerGuy profile link at 11/10/09 3:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

Also: The number of a reputable orthodontist.

Posted by: ThatSpencerGuy profile link  in reply to  ThatSpencerGuy's comment at 11/10/09 3:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down

Thank goodness! When I go see Joe in concert I'll finally have a venue to use my Ed Hardy lighters!

Posted by: werttrew profile link at 11/10/09 3:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

i recommend listening to his other raps.
he REALLY likes peanut butter and jelly on white bread

Posted by: nicole profile link at 11/10/09 3:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Wow, Snow has NOT aged well.

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 11/10/09 3:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

if thats snow -
thats some benjamin buttons shit!

Posted by: nicole profile link  in reply to  kiss the pan's comment at 11/10/09 3:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I know him. And his videos don't even do justice to how much he actually sucks.

Posted by: andro profile link at 11/10/09 3:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

His mouth is always open. Why is his mouth always open?
This guy actually looks a lottt like my neighbor.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link at 11/10/09 3:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

That kind of un-closable mouth has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves pertaining to individulal people's physical characteristics.
It screams "mouth breather."

Courtland Mead needs to shit his mouth.

Posted by: KajusX profile link  in reply to  Napoleon Complex's comment at 11/10/09 4:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

* needs to SHUT his mouth.

Posted by: KajusX profile link  in reply to  KajusX's comment at 11/10/09 4:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

No, shit was fine.

Posted by: stupidlisagarbageface profile link  in reply to  KajusX's comment at 11/10/09 6:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

everyone know's ottawa ain't hard

Posted by: Aaron profile link at 11/10/09 3:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Are his teeth throwing me gang signs?
Fresh.

Posted by: goddamn. profile link at 11/10/09 3:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 37 Vote up Vote down

Homey looks like he has bad breath. Off the top of the dome, out through the nasty mouth, then trickle down the sick whiskers.

Posted by: Joee profile link at 11/10/09 3:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Meth Teef?

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 11/10/09 3:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Scarface is a rapper whose name was inspired by a classic gangster movie starring Al Pacino. Joe Somebody is rapper whose name may have been (read: was hopefully) inspired by....this.

Posted by: GreatCop profile link at 11/10/09 4:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Yeah, Joe Somebody and controversial Yellowknife rapper The Santa Clause have been embroiled in a pretty violent turf war for several months now.

Posted by: infinity days of everything profile link  in reply to  GreatCop's comment at 11/10/09 5:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I'm so proud to be Canadian! Joe Somebody is my homie! So what if I can't watch Hulu!? You guys in the states don't have any rappers as ill as Joey!

Posted by: kate profile link at 11/10/09 4:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

"Oh no got to let them know Joe Somebody hear we go buddy" - that's not Je Somebody that's...
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: HarshBrowns profile link at 11/10/09 4:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Is this the trailer for the new Harmony Korine movie?

Posted by: Duke Nukem profile link at 11/10/09 4:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

I bet those piercingly cold, dead eyes come in really handy during instense rap battles.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 11/10/09 4:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

yeah, it was the eyes that made me stop watching, oh :09 seconds in. they stay completely still while his head bounces! that is not normal!

Posted by: southernbitch profile link  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 11/10/09 4:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

rofl oh god. this is my hometown. there is an incredibly real possibility that i will run into this person.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 11/10/09 4:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

what will i even do if that happens?!?! You guys heard him! He don't play no games.

Posted by: Elliot profile link  in reply to  Elliot's comment at 11/10/09 4:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Throw him into the ocean.

Posted by: .bryan. profile link  in reply to  Elliot's comment at 11/10/09 4:26 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Don't worry, I am also from Ottawa (with an A in the middle, GABE), so there are at least two Ottawa Monsters in existence. We can form an O-Town Monster Gang and huddle together in fear.

Posted by: Marcus profile link  in reply to  Elliot's comment at 11/11/09 1:49 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Photobucket

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link at 11/10/09 4:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

You know, because they look alike in the mouth region... I stink.

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link  in reply to  Spice Weasel's comment at 11/10/09 4:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

No, that's fucking awesome. It's Joe Somebody: MS Paint!

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link  in reply to  Spice Weasel's comment at 11/11/09 12:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

You know when you hear a recording of yourself and its like 'whose this, I don't sound like that?'

Well I get the feeling he probably sounds really Jay-Z cool to himself. Also, did I miss the lyric when he threw a guy in the ocean? why would you make something like that up?!

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link at 11/10/09 4:10 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Oh man I listened again, he really threw a dude in the ocean, awesome!

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link  in reply to  Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF)'s comment at 11/10/09 4:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

guys, we can laugh all day over here, but the SUITS are taking notice of joe somebody. rap mogel, DDDDamien posted this under our fresh homie's other hot youtube video "im from da jungle":


Yo you got a record deal yet? if not holla at me boi you got mad flava


HEATSEEKERGUM.

Posted by: huckabeast profile link at 11/10/09 4:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

This is my rapper! My parents are flying him in for my Bar Mitzvah!

Posted by: Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up profile link at 11/10/09 4:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Especially when facing down rival gang member Taylor Swift

Posted by: Loz profile link at 11/10/09 4:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

oops that was supposed to be a reply to moonmaster

Posted by: Loz profile link  in reply to  Loz's comment at 11/10/09 4:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down


J-Roc in the hizzouse.

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 11/10/09 4:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

"I got more rhymes than a lazy susan
And I'm innocent 'til my guilt is proven.
Yo, put a shirt on, Randy!"

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  Kenny Powers's comment at 11/10/09 4:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

This guy's so intense, he probably does drive-by's on his scooter!

Posted by: I Like A Skinny Tie profile link at 11/10/09 4:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I'm wrestling with the pride of my city being mentioned on VGum, and the horror of how it has happened.

Man, I thought I found Ottawa boring; could Joe be more exhausted by his suburban home and the weight of the giant brim of his hat?

Posted by: clockworkrobots profile link at 11/10/09 4:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

At first, people in Ottowa kept reporting that they saw owls at their windows at night. Soon they realized they weren't owls, but aliens. In the end, turns out it wasn't aliens after all. It was simply Joe Somebody explainin' words the people of Ottowa never ever heard (for instance: rip, dip, trip.)

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 11/10/09 4:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

And now, an excerpt: "mufuckin money. getcha paper. getcha dough. gotta get my money. money on my mind." OK this is totally a viral video commercial for eTrade. It's lonelygirl all over again.

Posted by: PerhapsAnAtticShallISeek profile link at 11/10/09 4:40 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Ottowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Posted by: Jeb profile link at 11/10/09 4:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

"ottowaaaat on the spot, like a dot, get my weed spread my seed never bleed because mangos do the tango like a frango. Mint. Chocolate. Word. Shit. Bitches."
-Joe Somebody, from his upcoming album: J20e S12mebody

Posted by: PerhapsAnAtticShallISeek profile link  in reply to  Jeb's comment at 11/10/09 4:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

More like Joe NOBODY! Amirite you guys? MC Zing is in da house.

Posted by: dude profile link at 11/10/09 4:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I can't watch this right now but I'm dying to know- does he rhyme "loonies" and "toonies" at any point?

Posted by: DuckDuck profile link at 11/10/09 5:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Your question should actually be: "does he rhyme at any point?" And I still don't know the answer to that one.

Posted by: PerhapsAnAtticShallISeek profile link  in reply to  DuckDuck's comment at 11/10/09 5:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

i bring you love...b&#C* mother f#&ker
Photobucket

Posted by: MrBlankStare profile link at 11/10/09 5:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Those teeth! Pay your orthodontist some of those millions you made in the free market, you guys, lest you end up like this snaggle-toothed victim of SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.

Posted by: meaverly profile link at 11/10/09 5:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

CANADA SHIT!!! (That was all I got out of the video.)

Posted by: stupidlisagarbageface profile link at 11/10/09 6:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

this spounds like a song i wrote when i was trying to emulate kriss kross in the second or third grade. only mine had more swearing.

Posted by: skunksuit profile link at 11/10/09 10:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

i've always thought that grillz were kinda silly, but i will fully endorse them in this case.

Posted by: McKay Hatch profile link at 11/10/09 11:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Major peach fuzz envy over here.

Posted by: swinglow profile link at 11/11/09 2:48 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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