This Is Your Rapper: Joe Somebody
This guy is so gully that his language is NOT EVEN SAFE FOR WORK, son! Y'heard! Headphones UP!
Streets is going crazy for this one. Dude threw another dude in the ocean (the ocean!) because he owed him money! Which is not that easy to do from Ottowa, when you think about it. YA SOAKED! (Via DJ Dougg Pound.)
Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in Viral Video
Tags: Joe Somebody | Rap | The Ocean

































Salad Fingers raps!
Score = 14
and based on the lyrics Strong Bad is writing for him
Score = 12
And his lips move less than Jeff Dunham's.
Score = 3
I find it hard to comment on this video, because it will surely never match up to the deconstructions provided by the YouTube comments.
For as the great critic josholiver09 himself said: "haha dude got down syndrome, lol"
Score = 11
Sorry, did i say "josholiver09"? I meant "your boyfriend". Just wanted to clear that up.
Score = 10
Although our friend josholiver09 does have a good point, I'm more inclined to side with the somewhat controversial statement of utaputa: "Dat witch hat iz off da chain homey."
Score = 11
And then there's this reworking of his video. And somebody (get it?) cares enough about little baby xanax to have made a dis rap about him.
Score = 0
He looks like is about to cry!
Someone give him a hug!
Score = 15
Also: The number of a reputable orthodontist.
Score = 26
Thank goodness! When I go see Joe in concert I'll finally have a venue to use my Ed Hardy lighters!

Score = 5
i recommend listening to his other raps.
he REALLY likes peanut butter and jelly on white bread
Score = 9
Wow, Snow has NOT aged well.
Score = 8
if thats snow -
thats some benjamin buttons shit!
Score = 5
I know him. And his videos don't even do justice to how much he actually sucks.
Score = 15
His mouth is always open. Why is his mouth always open?
This guy actually looks a lottt like my neighbor.
Score = 7
That kind of un-closable mouth has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves pertaining to individulal people's physical characteristics.

It screams "mouth breather."
Courtland Mead needs to shit his mouth.
Score = 12
* needs to SHUT his mouth.
Score = 5
No, shit was fine.
Score = 10
everyone know's ottawa ain't hard
Score = 8
Are his teeth throwing me gang signs?
Fresh.
Score = 37
Homey looks like he has bad breath. Off the top of the dome, out through the nasty mouth, then trickle down the sick whiskers.
Score = 2
Meth Teef?
Score = 10
Scarface is a rapper whose name was inspired by a classic gangster movie starring Al Pacino. Joe Somebody is rapper whose name may have been (read: was hopefully) inspired by....this.
Score = 5
Yeah, Joe Somebody and controversial Yellowknife rapper The Santa Clause have been embroiled in a pretty violent turf war for several months now.
Score = 1
I'm so proud to be Canadian! Joe Somebody is my homie! So what if I can't watch Hulu!? You guys in the states don't have any rappers as ill as Joey!
Score = 8
"Oh no got to let them know Joe Somebody hear we go buddy" - that's not Je Somebody that's...

Score = 12
Is this the trailer for the new Harmony Korine movie?
Score = 17
I bet those piercingly cold, dead eyes come in really handy during instense rap battles.
Score = 10
yeah, it was the eyes that made me stop watching, oh :09 seconds in. they stay completely still while his head bounces! that is not normal!
Score = 3
rofl oh god. this is my hometown. there is an incredibly real possibility that i will run into this person.
Score = 6
what will i even do if that happens?!?! You guys heard him! He don't play no games.
Score = 13
Throw him into the ocean.
Score = 10
Don't worry, I am also from Ottawa (with an A in the middle, GABE), so there are at least two Ottawa Monsters in existence. We can form an O-Town Monster Gang and huddle together in fear.
Score = 1
Score = 5
You know, because they look alike in the mouth region... I stink.
Score = 7
No, that's fucking awesome. It's Joe Somebody: MS Paint!
Score = 0
You know when you hear a recording of yourself and its like 'whose this, I don't sound like that?'
Well I get the feeling he probably sounds really Jay-Z cool to himself. Also, did I miss the lyric when he threw a guy in the ocean? why would you make something like that up?!
Score = 3
Oh man I listened again, he really threw a dude in the ocean, awesome!
Score = 4
guys, we can laugh all day over here, but the SUITS are taking notice of joe somebody. rap mogel, DDDDamien posted this under our fresh homie's other hot youtube video "im from da jungle":
Yo you got a record deal yet? if not holla at me boi you got mad flava
HEATSEEKERGUM.
Score = 2
This is my rapper! My parents are flying him in for my Bar Mitzvah!
Score = 8
Especially when facing down rival gang member Taylor Swift
Score = 0
oops that was supposed to be a reply to moonmaster
Score = 0
J-Roc in the hizzouse.
Score = 6
"I got more rhymes than a lazy susan
And I'm innocent 'til my guilt is proven.
Yo, put a shirt on, Randy!"
Score = 2
This guy's so intense, he probably does drive-by's on his scooter!
Score = 2
I'm wrestling with the pride of my city being mentioned on VGum, and the horror of how it has happened.
Man, I thought I found Ottawa boring; could Joe be more exhausted by his suburban home and the weight of the giant brim of his hat?
Score = 4
At first, people in Ottowa kept reporting that they saw owls at their windows at night. Soon they realized they weren't owls, but aliens. In the end, turns out it wasn't aliens after all. It was simply Joe Somebody explainin' words the people of Ottowa never ever heard (for instance: rip, dip, trip.)
Score = 6
And now, an excerpt: "mufuckin money. getcha paper. getcha dough. gotta get my money. money on my mind." OK this is totally a viral video commercial for eTrade. It's lonelygirl all over again.
Score = 1
Ottowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
Score = 4
"ottowaaaat on the spot, like a dot, get my weed spread my seed never bleed because mangos do the tango like a frango. Mint. Chocolate. Word. Shit. Bitches."
-Joe Somebody, from his upcoming album: J20e S12mebody
Score = 7
More like Joe NOBODY! Amirite you guys? MC Zing is in da house.
Score = 5
I can't watch this right now but I'm dying to know- does he rhyme "loonies" and "toonies" at any point?
Score = 3
Your question should actually be: "does he rhyme at any point?" And I still don't know the answer to that one.
Score = 7
i bring you love...bC* mother f#&ker

Score = 5
Those teeth! Pay your orthodontist some of those millions you made in the free market, you guys, lest you end up like this snaggle-toothed victim of SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.
Score = 1
METH TEETH!!!
Score = 0
CANADA SHIT!!! (That was all I got out of the video.)
Score = 1
this spounds like a song i wrote when i was trying to emulate kriss kross in the second or third grade. only mine had more swearing.
Score = 1
i've always thought that grillz were kinda silly, but i will fully endorse them in this case.
Score = 1
Major peach fuzz envy over here.
Score = 0