The "Business Card Guy" Talks About Martial Arts While His Poor Daughter Contemplates Running Away
Before sharing the latest amazing Joel "Business Card Guy" Bauer video, in which he extols the benefits of a special new martial art he learned, and which, like the business card video and the packing video before it, is AWESOME, I just want to make something clear: I didn't put this video on the internet, he did, and I'm not making fun of his daughter, and in fact, I feel great sympathy/empathy for her. You will, too. Okay, that said, this is another crazy one you guys: Joel wants us to know that he and his daughter can both "do serious damage to another human being within a microsecond, whether they're carrying a gun, a knife, or a club." I'm scared! No, literally:
I have to commend Joel -- I laughed a genuine, non-ironic little laugh when he said of his eleven years of previous martial arts training: "I learned to dance." (Thanks to Nathan for the tip!)
Posted by Lindsay at 5:30 PM in Viral Video
Tags: Business Card Guy | Joel Bauer | Karate | Martial Arts
I choose death.
Score = 8
Hey Joel, how would you defend yourself against a man with two dilldos?
Score = 16
i likuh da juice. you likuh da juice?
Score = 3
I don't understand, do you think this guy looks like Robert Smeigel? Is there some reason for the outdated reference to a horrible sketch that I'm just not getting? Please tell me there is a subversive brilliance in your "Da Cake Eatur" persona that we all seem to be overlooking. Because the alternative to that is just too sad to be true.
Score = 13
da cake eatur's ability to generate such consistent frustration among the Videogum community only makes his schtick that much more entertaining. your lack of a sense of humor about the whole thing only fuels the level of pretentiousness that is being mocked. and that snl skit is hilarious.
Score = -6
No, we had a sense of humor about it when it was funny the first few times, but you know when things that were once funny get repeated on a daily basis and are carried on far beyond their shelf-life and then just become painfully unfunny--it's like that. Steve, it's kinda like when you still do Borat impressions around your friends and they just roll their eyes and want to walk away from you (because to be honest, you were never good at them in the first place)---it's like that. I don't think it has anything to do with us being pretentious.
Score = 10
Yes. I am one of those people who still do Borat impressions and think its funny. Because that is something that people who disagree with you do. Always. My point is that while these comments are not inherently funny, the Pavlovian response to express your discontent via a negative score on a blog comment is slightly humorous. Because that, I'm sure, is the author's expected and desired response. So by continuing to do so, you are lending it just enough credibility (as am I, simply for taking the time to discuss this) to maintain the charade. Just a casual observer's perspective, no need for baseless allegations of Borat-related douchebagerry
Score = -1
That sketch was a one gag premise (and was a lame gag to begin with) that went nowhere, and they kept putting it on the air. In fact, that sketch is a metaphor for da cake eatur's presence on this site.
Score = 2
you all just justified the need for da cake eatur.
"My point is that while these comments are not inherently funny, the Pavlovian response to express your discontent via a negative score on a blog comment is slightly humorous."
- are you fucking kidding me steve/not steve? this isnt a lecture dicky, and we're not the prof. feel free to take the pretentiousness and blow it up a dog's dick.
-l8r
Score = 4
i don't really understand why anyone cares that someone posts annoying stuff on here.
seriously, i can't figure out why people care at all.
how does it affect anyone?
i ignore half of the commenters because they're not funny and just skim for the consistently funny people. whatevs.
i have control over what i read, so i CHOOSE whether or not i will let something into my head.
couldn't you all do that, too?
Score = 0
BOOOO!
Score = 3
I've decided that from this point on I'm voting UP on all of 'Da Cake Eaturs' comments.
I invite you all to join me.
Score = 6
I can't bring myself to do it.
Score = 1
Ooor we could all just ignore him like we did about 2 weeks ago and maybe he'll disappear again?? I don't even see him when I'm reading these anymore--you're invisible to me Cake Eatur...YOU CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE!!
Score = 8
I'm basically dead. (Also, I'm glad she wasn't pushed into this or something.)
Score = 1
Does anyone else get "alcoholic dad" vibes from this guy? The way he cocks his head and slurs some of his words seems suspicious to me. But I guess the motivational speaker lifestyle is a hard one.
Also: he can't just post a video about martial arts and not even show some moves.
Score = 7
Since he seems to have taken her life to hell, maybe she should damage HIM...
Score = 1
"This will affect how I look at people, they are nothing more than insects that I can crush with my bare hands."
Score = 5
I have two daughters and I know that look she's got on her face. It's the 'leave me the hell alone' look. Notice how in the first few seconds she starts to move away and he pulls her back.
Wow. Such douchery should not be allowed around the children.
Score = 3
I'm always being attacked with clubs.
Score = 3
I got really creeped out (/not really, this is hilarious) when he said with emphasis "the youngest who has ever taken this course is now capable of inflicting damage on someone who would have taken her life and not thought about it for a SECOND."
if that daughter of his is now dead under mysterious circumstances, then i think we have the makings of a case gumshoes.
Score = 1
I love watching Joel run free in the hyperbole playground.
Score = 2
I likuh da juice
Score = 5
OK, but what about if somebody attacks you with a banana? Or a pointed stick?
Score = 0