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July 28, 2009

I Hate You I Love You, Beth Cooper

thumbnail icon: I Hate You I Love You, Beth Cooper

Oh wow. This is the worst! Do you remember that movie that you didn't see because no one saw it called I Love You, Beth Cooper? It was like the poor man's Can't Hardly Wait, as if Can't Hardly Wait wasn't already the poor man's Can't Hardly Wait. Well, they came up with a pretty "clever" viral marketing scheme for their movie. Gawker reports (via the Wall Street Journal):

They paid Kenya Mejia $1,800 to say "I love you, Jake Minor!" in her actual graduation speech, the idea being that she would say she was inspired to call out her crush by seeing the same thing done in this movie, "I Love You, Beth Cooper." Then the video of this would "go viral," supposedly.

Woof. Congratulations, corporate headhunters. It looks like your feverish search for a new CEO of Bad Idea Jeans has ended.

What a dumb idea!

Not only did the plan simply not work, since the "viral" video remains stalled at 2,000 views (also, a professional camera crew shot this to look like a home video? Because they did a REALLY good job [shitty]. I hope they charged $100,000,000,000 for their efforts) and the movie bombed and it didn't even get Jake Minor to fall in love with her (and also she has a boyfriend), but it violated the number one rule of Don Draper's Rules of Marketing: be drunk on whiskey in another woman's bed know your audience. Viral video aside, valedictorians are NERDS. That's just a FACT. How are you going to convince teenagers to spend their hard earned Bubble Tape money (I know what the kids are up to) on a movie if the best person you can find to hype it is some dweeb giving a boring speech that has nothing to do with weed or fucking?!

Someone should shove whoever came up with this plan in a locker.

Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in ,
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31 Comments

Oh, man...IRL??? NO WAY!!!

Posted by: RichGuy profile link at 07/28/09 11:52 AM  | Reply
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Only in LA....

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/28/09 11:56 AM  | Reply
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I says the guy who came up with this farce has spikey hair and ed hardy scented candles in his bathroom.

Posted by: Paul Cooley at 07/28/09 11:56 AM  | Reply
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What's the spikey hair in his bathroom for? Is it for scrubbing the toilet? Is it for rincing his Cristal-and-Coke-vomit-soiled 'No, I'm Not On Facebook' tanktop in the sink? Is it for scrubbing his mouth after the brainstorm meeting at Idiot South-Central, where he came up with this idea? Please answer soon, Paul, because I can't sleep.

Posted by: Mr. Tribbles profile link  in reply to  Paul Cooley's comment at 07/28/09 11:33 PM  | Reply
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It's occurred to me that Videogum is now so much Gabe (RIP Lindsay Never Forget :(:(:( ) that it's basically just reading Gabe's Live Journal or something, and that makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Like I know too much...

Posted by: Rara profile link at 07/28/09 12:11 PM  | Reply
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Actually, this post was written in a very different, Lindsay-style voice that Gabe has been using for softer news.

Posted by: Nate Scott! profile link  in reply to  Rara's comment at 07/28/09 12:17 PM  | Reply
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Metagum.

Posted by: sen_tankerbell profile link  in reply to  Nate Scott!'s comment at 07/28/09 1:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

valedictorians are loved by our nation's youth, pretty much second only to that dude who sings the helen keller song.

Posted by: cubiclechaos at 07/28/09 12:36 PM  | Reply
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I remember Bubble Tape! Do the kids still chew that stuff?

Posted by: Jesseca! profile link at 07/28/09 12:42 PM  | Reply
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You could really feel how that last part came straight from her heart.

Posted by: Edward Elizabeth Hitler profile link at 07/28/09 12:48 PM  | Reply
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I prefer to spend my money on Handi-Snacks and Gushers.

Posted by: goathair profile link at 07/28/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
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Things like this make me hate advertising folk. According to this, the marketing team's hypothesis was that the only thing stopping people from seeing "Beth Cooper" was that there wasn't a viral video tied to it. Not the fact that the movie looked like shit, not the fact that no one cared about the movie in the first place, not the fact that Hayden Pana-tana-whatshername was the only "star" in it.

Nope, the kids needed to see someone they don't know in a Youtube video say something tangentially related to the movie they didn't care about in the first place. Marketers, earning their consulting fee. That's why the Keyboard Cat movie opened at 100 mil.

Posted by: EtWB profile link at 07/28/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
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- How are you going to convince teenagers to spend their hard earned Bubble Tape money (I know what the kids are up to)

- valedictorians are NERDS. That's just a FACT.

- "Bad Idea Jeans"....

And no cats. I trust my case can rest. (I know too much about Gabe.)

Posted by: Rara profile link at 07/28/09 12:58 PM  | Reply
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Relax, Rara.


You know absolutely nothing about me.

Posted by: Gabe profile link  in reply to  Rara's comment at 07/28/09 1:07 PM  | Reply
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This is like the 3rd time in Videogum history I've been told by you to relax. I think I need to hand in my Videogum ID card and be escorted from the premises. Sorry?

Posted by: Rara profile link  in reply to  Gabe's comment at 07/28/09 1:54 PM  | Reply
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Maybe you should just relax?

Posted by: adrienne profile link  in reply to  Rara's comment at 07/28/09 2:36 PM  | Reply
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I hear Bubble Tape does wonders for the nerves.

Posted by: Weeam profile link  in reply to  Rara's comment at 07/28/09 3:18 PM  | Reply
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We know that you look like a grumpy Shia LeBouf and that's AWESOME

Posted by: GabeFAN  in reply to  Gabe's comment at 07/28/09 2:27 PM  | Reply
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We don't even know Gabe's age. He's like 56 right?

Posted by: Calliwell profile link at 07/28/09 1:32 PM  | Reply
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Not even close:

Posted by: Mr. Tribbles profile link  in reply to  Calliwell's comment at 07/29/09 1:08 AM  | Reply
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...and as we move forward with our lives and step bravely into the world, we know that the experiences and friendships we have shared will stay in our hearts forever, guiding us in our darkest hours and propelling us into a bright and wondrous future.


And I'd like to take this last opportunity to say that Tostino's Pizza Rolls are the ultimate snack for after school, after soccer practice, or any time. Available in a variety of flavors, Tostino's Pizza Rolls are truly fast fuel for kids on the go, from the microwave or hot out of the oven.


Thank you.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 07/28/09 2:04 PM  | Reply
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And now she'll forever associate high school with a shitty movie everyone else (rightly) forgot about and a "viral" video nobody else saw. I hope she was at least paid handsomely.

Also isn't the first rule of viral marketing club not to be so freaking obvious about it? "Inspired by the movie I Love You Beth Cooper. . ." isn't something you should script into the damn speech.

Posted by: Girl Friday profile link at 07/28/09 2:16 PM  | Reply
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If I were her boyfriend I would be pissedddd. She sold him out for $1,800?

Posted by: Kelly profile link at 07/28/09 2:46 PM  | Reply
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I think you are her boyfriend. We all are.

Posted by: wrj89 profile link  in reply to  Kelly's comment at 07/28/09 3:32 PM  | Reply
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youre just contributing to this shittyness gabe. how about everyone pretends it doesnt exist

Posted by: madfishes at 07/28/09 3:19 PM  | Reply
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Madfishes (or is it madfish? Whatever.) is clearly an Awful Spelling graduate.

Posted by: Mr. Tribbles profile link  in reply to  madfishes's comment at 07/29/09 12:12 AM  | Reply
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that guy with the afro behind her... was that Phil Spector? OMG, run girl, run!!!

Posted by: swaz! profile link at 07/28/09 3:35 PM  | Reply
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I think i went into an epileptic seizure of hilariousness when i read that comment. there is nothing better than this.. its really almost poetic in its detail. Brava!

Posted by: xena warrior princess profile link  in reply to  swaz!'s comment at 08/13/09 10:38 PM  | Reply
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I hate I love you, beth cooper because I saw it.

Posted by: joy profile link at 07/28/09 7:12 PM  | Reply
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I was valedictorian. I'm not cool. :(

Posted by: langford at 07/29/09 8:51 PM  | Reply
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I am doing a research on viral marketing. The purpose of this study is to analyze three successfulviral marketing campaigns. if you want to participate, please click this link:http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=kir1HOU0ur4YjWIbqTy1QQ_3d_3d

Thanks

Posted by: Magnolia Medina at 08/03/09 7:11 AM  | Reply
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