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Category: Video Skeletons

November 16, 2009

Y2K Comes Earlier And Earlier Every Year

On the one hand I think it's weird that it's not even Thanksgiving yet and the stores are already putting up their Y2K decorations. But on the other hand, it's not a bad idea to be reminded as early as possible in the year to stock up on your Y2K ham and paper plates, because next thing you know it's December 31st and the stores are closing early and your guests will be here any minute, and you just don't have time to install a water-purification unit in the backyard. And remember, you're not going to get too far if you can't open your cans! "Hi, I'm a roving gang of cannibals, what is that in your hand, an electric can opener? Nice try, I just raped your face. With my teeth." That's the kind of thing you're going to be hearing if you don't Y2PREPARE!

Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in
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Comments (17) latest by Napoleon Complex

June 29, 2009

Computer Beach Party Looks Computer Beach Great!

Video Home Systems Dot Com has cut together this highlight reel from a forgotten '80s sex comedy called Computer Beach Party. Is this real life? AHHHHHHH.

Michael Bay's robo-farts break box office records and this movie falls into the dustbin of history? I'm sorry, but I find it far more believable that the head of NASA can be found in the stacks of the local public library than everything about John Turturro's character in the Transformers franchise. This movie just has heart! I wonder if that nerd ever gets the "beautiful" girl a glass of water! I wonder what happens to that mean man's highly esteemed personal wealth! Keyboard in the glove compartment! Enhance! Enhance! Beach party!

According to VHS.blog, you can still buy used copies of this movie for $5 on Amazon. Which I guess is fine if you live in a cave! In 1996! You're telling me that Hamburger America: a Film by George Motz is available on DVD, but I've got to build a time machine and (KILL HITLER, and then) go back to the Age of VHS to watch Computer Beach Party? Between this and the lack of a Chopping Mall DVD, I am beginning to think that there is a conspiracy against putting movies I want to enjoy semi-ironically on DVD! A conspiracy!

Hey look, the chicken car!

Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in ,
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Comments (24) latest by roger

June 12, 2009

13 Years Ago, The State Made A Gameboy Commercial

David Wain put this up on his blog yesterday: apparently 13 years ago, he and State members Kerri Kenney, Ben Garant, Michael Showalter, and Michael Ian Black made a commercial for the then-new Game Boy Pocket. I feel like if I saw this now I would recognize their voices, but probably not:

I wonder whose butt that is at the end? (Via CC Insider.)

Posted by Lindsay at 11:00 AM in ,
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Comments (19) latest by herrorara

June 11, 2009

In (Maybe) Defense Of Kathie Lee

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Kathie Lee Gifford is kind of a mystery to me. Hear me out, here. We all know she seemed pretty awful in the '90s, but all morning show people are always awful, and the two major things that happened to her (the child labor scandal and the Frank Gifford tabloid entrapment thing) weren't really Kathie's fault, but just convenient things we used as a society as good enough reasons to kick out someone we thought had worn out her welcome by taking her "perfect mother, wife, and human" role past the point of tolerance. But if you watch Kathie now, her fall from the highest heights of morning show fame and subsequent relegation to a totally unnecessary fourth hour of The Today Show seem to, if not mellowed her, forced her to take what may have always been a self-caricature to the next level. Kathie Lee may actually be a self-deprecating natural comedian acutely aware of the miseries and uncertainties of life but choosing to celebrate it anyway with a great big "Aren't I Just Ridiculous?" show. Or maybe not, but this video of introductory gags from her old workout video seem to show a woman who is mildly annoying, but definitely not taking herself too seriously.

Continue reading In (Maybe) Defense Of Kathie Lee...

Posted by Lindsay at 11:30 AM in ,
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Comments (12) latest by Kenugent

June 5, 2009

Voices That Care, For Crying Out Loud

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Can we make a rule that says that every single year at the same time (summer is probably best), all of the people who are currently "hot," no matter how unrelated their fame is, have to get together in the same room and sing a cheesy song together for the enjoyment of The People Of The Future? Because these things are SO FUN. "Voices That Care" was a single released in 1991 and intended to bolster the morale of the Desert Storm troops. I owned it. I also taped the making-of special that aired on FOX, and saved the tape, and watched the tape, because I loved Fred Savage, Will Smith, and Alyssa Milano. "Voices That Care," the video: whether it's a trip down memory lane or a look at what was going on while you were being potty trained, it's so much fun:

Continue reading Voices That Care, For Crying Out Loud...

Posted by Lindsay at 4:00 PM in ,
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Comments (32) latest by Goldberry

June 3, 2009

When My Man Puts On His Stratos, I Know He's Into Something Ewwwww

I'm not old enough to remember this commercial for Blue Stratos men's cologne, but it really puts a lot of SNL sketches into historical/satirical perspective. I've never seen a creepier, more rapey expression on a beautiful model's face. I wonder how many people unknowingly owe their lives to the power of Blue Stratos:

Run, Tom Selleck! There's a roofie in your wine! I like how Mustache Guy plays the Little Red Riding Hood role in this commercial. He just thinks he's going out for a nice dinner with his best girl, so he put on his favorite cologne, but she has other ideas. For "something new"! (What did that even mean in 1985?)

Posted by Lindsay at 5:45 PM in , ,
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Comments (12) latest by Detroit Dutchgirl

June 1, 2009

Did Any '80s Celebrity Not Have An "I'm Better Than You" Video?

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Okay, WHAT IS WITH all these videos of famous women in the '80s demonstrating their beauty routines, taking bubble baths, and smugly demonstrating their fabulousness under the guise of "helping" others? First, there was Vanna White's terribly smug instructions on why we should all be as thin as she is, then the archeologists found Angela Lansbury rubbing lotion on her skin, and today Everything Is Terrible brings us actress Donna Mills talking makeup tips and pretending to answer the phone in her favorite puffy '80s outfits. I think we all need to call our parents tonight and ask them wtf was going on with that decade.

Continue reading Did Any '80s Celebrity Not Have An "I'm Better Than You" Video?...

Posted by Lindsay at 4:40 PM in
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Comments (14) latest by jennybird

May 21, 2009

Alan Alda's Adorable Atari Ads

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Last week, after his guest-stint as Jack's father on 30 Rock rekindled my Alan Alda obsession, I did some YouTube searches and found these charming Atari ads that Alan did for the gaming system's more practical features back in the early '80s. I love how Alan's public persona as an outspoken feminist was incorporated into the ads -- something you'd rarely see a celebrity do today.

Continue reading Alan Alda's Adorable Atari Ads...

Posted by Lindsay at 4:30 PM in , ,
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Comments (18) latest by Terry's Chocolate Orange

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