Would You Like To Play A Videogame?
Oh man. Saw videogame, you guys. Right on time.
"The game mechanics are just classic horror-survival." That's a sentence now. That is a thing that people say that other people understand.
On the one hand, it seems obvious that there is a Saw videogame, and if anything it's surprising that it's taken this long. The Saw roller coaster beat the Saw videogame by a year? Smart. On the other hand, isn't a Saw videogame completely contrary to Saw's entire philosophy? CLARIFICATION: there is no such thing as Saw's entire philosophy, it is one of the most intellectually bankrupt movie franchises of all time. BUT, Saw pretends like it has a philosophy, which is to shake its viewers out of their complacency with the beautiful gift of life. Jigsaw's horrible project is to show people just how far they will go to save the life they took for granted the day before. Right? And, you know, nothing says living life to the fullest and loving every second of it like SITTING IN YOUR PARENTS' BASEMENT IN YOUR PAJAMAS PLAYING A "HORROR-SURVIVAL" VIDEOGAME BASED ON A 5 YEAR OLD MOVIE.
Carpe ughm.
Posted by Gabe at 10:30 AM in Video Games, What America Wants
Tags: Horror Survival | Saw | Saw II
"The game mechanics are just classic horror-survival."
Yeah, I know exactly what this means. I guess that means I'm a huge nerd but that's certainly not news to me.
And while typically termed "survival-horror", that genre is real in vidjagames and isn't universally awful. This will be, obviously.
Score = 6
Survival-Horror is at thing, Gabe.
Go ask your boyfriends over at Kotaku.
Score = 2
I wonder what X-Play rated this as. I bet Morgan Webb gave it 1 Saw out of 5
Score = 0
yes, finally, all those questions I had will finally be answered
Score = 2
"The game mechanics are just classic horror-survival."
That's no more obscure in its jargoniness than "The plot structure is typical rom-com." You know that video games are a bigger industry than movies these days, don't you?
IT IS NOT THAT WEIRD THAT WE CAN PARSE THESE THINGS.
Score = 1
I kind of stopped listening to the guy after a few seconds, so I still don'treally understand what goes on in the game.
Score = 0
Gabe, you sound like some dickhole that used to beat up kids in school for playing Mario. As a 52 year old father of two, even I know what the hell survival-horror is. Sorry that I like to take part in the great American pasttime of SHOOTING FUCKING ZOMBIES. Seriously, have you never sat down and played goddamned Resident Evil or SIlent Hill. Even I think that stuff is frightening beyond all fuck. I just make sure my kids don't touch it so it doesn't melt their brains. Really, though, way to fuckin hate on SHOOTING FUCKING ZOMBIES. There's people out there fighting for these freedoms your snarky bullshit is pissing on, Gabe.
Score = 2
LOL I KNO RITE GABE?! THOSE VIDEOGAMES! THEY ARE FOR NERDS! WE'RE SO COOL THOUGH! HEY, WANNA GO THROW AROUND THE PIG SKIN AND CHUG SOME BEER AND DO, YOU KNOW, COOL GUY STUFF LIKE BLOG ABOUT LINDSAY LOHAN?!
Oh wait....You're actually a tool. My mistake. Seriously, don't write about shit you know nothing about. Video games are a much bigger industry than the dumbass reality shows that I'm sure occupy all of your time. And yes, survival horror is a thing and it's been a thing since the early 90s.
Score = 0
These video game reviews of yours tend to go over about as well as my attempts at cyber-hitting on you and Luke Wilson. Better to stick with what I know: dishin' out the creepsauce to dudes IRL.
Score = 2