Brett Ratner Should Team Up With Kirk Cameron And Make A Christian Guitar Hero Movie • Brett Ratner told a reporter he wants to direct a movie based on Guitar Hero and gives his aggressively obvious idea for the plot. Best quote: "Not that I would make a bad movie."

Comments (2) latest by Matthew

Forget It Jake, It's Tweentown

I haven't seen any of the High School Musical movies because I'm 47-years-old and I, like most Americans, oppose torture. I also don't play dance revolution games for similar reasons (I am 102 years old, and I oppose clowns and the appearance of being a clown). So you can imagine that I simply have no idea what to make of this.

I sincerely cannot wait until I can sit on the porch with a shotgun yelling at teenagers to stop playing stickball (you know, teenager stuff) so close to my property and complaining to a bedraggled wife about the ache in my bones from the approaching rain and no one will be able to say shit to me because I will be a billion years old and I will have earned this tiny right (also see: shotgun). Of course, by then Presidents Zack and Cody will have made it a federal offense to be over the age of 25 and the Doritos Army will disconnect the arc reactor from my one bedroom submersible and I'll sink, angry and confused, to the bottom of the Brooklyn Sea.

Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in Video Games
Tags: High School Musical 3 | Vanessa Hudgens | Zac Efron

Comments (2) latest by kat

Punch Kim Kardashian In The Face

There's a new boxing game coming out from Electronic Arts this fall called Face Breaker that features a customization tool whereby you can upload your own face or the faces of your enemies to break. As an example of this dangerous innovation, the game's makers created a demo featuring Kim Kardashian. You can watch a video of it in action here.

This ought to put to rest all those parental concerns that videogames are a waste of time, encourage random acts of hyperviolence, and are detrimental to the development of children's imaginations, curiosity, and attention spans. Now, when a mom comes in to the room and is like "Have you ever thought about opening a book?" the kid will be like "Mom, I'm punching Kim Kardashian in the face. Repeatedly," and the mom will be like, "That is my boy. F books."

Personally, Kim Kardashian isn't on my top 10 list of people to punch in the videoface. Here is my top 10 list:

Continue reading Punch Kim Kardashian In The Face...

Posted by Gabe at 2:30 PM in Video Games
Tags: Face Breaker | Hitler | Kim Kardashian | The Hills

Comments (6) latest by annie onymous

Wii Music Will Lead To Wii Bands, Wii Band Practice, And Wii Band Camp

So I just played Wii for the first time last weekend, which is ridiculous, but how was I to know it was awesome when watching my friends play it has been so boring over the past year? Now Nintendo has premiered video of the upcoming Wii Music, where you pretend to play instruments. It looks cool in theory, but so far my favorite two things about the Wii are 1. The hitting and 2. The trash talk, and this seems to have no opportunities for either:

I'm cracking up imagining all my Wii-playing friends prancing around playing fake Wii-flutes like Bottom from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Posted by Lindsay at 2:28 PM in Video Games
Tags: Wii

Comments (1) latest by SailorAlphaCentauri

Can Marlo Stanfield Save The Max Payne Movie?

It seems like Hollywood got the idea for the videogame-to-movie adaptation process from the old prank where you but a half gallon of milk behind your friend's radiator because you hate them. You take two perfectly decent things, milk and heat, wait forever, and the end result stinks. Oh man. My metaphors. I hope someone is writing these down. They're going to be collected in a book one day titled The Worst Metaphors: The Book. Oh man. My book titles. Max Payne trailer:

I know that Max Payne was supposed to be revolutionary in that it was one of the first heavily written videogames, but the writing still always seemed pretty cheesy to me, like someone had heard a hard-boiled detective story retold to them by a super stoned friend who was working at the gas station while he prepped for his GED and saved money for his Celtic arm-band tattoo (that one is definitely going in the book). I will admit, though, that the nightmare level where you're walking through the shadows of a blood-stained house while a baby cries incessantly was actually scary. And it's great (not that great, birdman25) that they stayed so true to the bathroom stall source material. But let's just be ourselves you guys. I love Mark Wahlberg, but if I wanted to watch a leather jacket commercial with a Puddle of Mudd soundtrack I'd join an advertising firm, work my way up, and be the creative director on the leather jacket account to make sure it was done right. That being said, this movie gets one more chance to prove itself to me on the strength of Jamie Hector. He doesn't seem to have a credit on IMDB, but that's him right? For your sake, Max Payne movie, that better be him.

Posted by Gabe at 12:45 PM in Trailer, Video Games
Tags: Jamie Hector | Mark Wahlberg | Marlo Stanfield | Max Payne

Comments (6) latest by tony

Grand Theft Auto IV Paradiso

The best thing about this video in which a bunch of famous movie scenes are recreated using the multi-player function of Grand Theft Auto IV is that a lone nerd in his mom's basement couldn't make it. He needed a whole gang of nerds living in their moms' basements, operating IN HARMONY. You can just picture them, Cheeto dust encrusted on their headsets, barking directives at each other like "Dude, you've got to get your avatar to face me, get your avatar to face me, dude. Dude, it's not going to work if your avatar isn't facing me. Get your avatar to face me, dude. Dude. Your avatar. Dude, get your avatar to turn around and face me. Slider_69, get your fucking avatar to face me, dude."

Continue reading Grand Theft Auto IV Paradiso...

Posted by Gabe at 4:00 PM in Video Games, Viral Video
Tags: American History X | Fight Club | Goodfellas | Grand Theft Auto IV | Reservoir Dogs | The Godfather

Comments (1) latest by action bastard

The Two Coreys Are Back, And Beating Each Other Up

Reality TV's odd couple Corey Feldman and Corey Haim are back, and boy are they not getting along perfectly still. The tagline for the second season of The Two Coreys, which returns Sunday night on A&E is: "Still making their mark on Hollywood...any way they can." Like by being on this show! Which I just made sure to DVR. I also just spent five mildly amusing minutes playing the new "Corey Vs Corey" promotional game, where you pick a Corey and fight the other Corey while serious sound clips from the show play incongruously in the background. Feldman has the power to blow sleepy fairy dust at Haim (super-mean since Haim is a recovering drug addict), and Haim can throw dirty socks at Feldman and fart on him (super-mean because he's a full grown real person). These powers are known in the game as "accomplishments." Seriously. I can't believe nobody has blogged this awesomeness yet!

Posted by Lindsay at 4:51 PM in Feuds, Reality TV, Video Games
Tags: Corey Feldman | Corey Haim | The Two Coreys

Comments (1) latest by jim

Get Ready For Lots Of Spore Penis Monsters

It's been five days since the Spore interactive game creature creator demo was leaked, and it only officially became available today, but already it's been used to create over 300 penis videos. In the internet's defense, even the innocent examples of Spore characters are humorously phallic looking. This one's the most popular so far:

Also, there's already something called "Sporn," and a beginner's guide to creating it. Considering that the game doesn't come out until September, the good people at the Sporn Company, specializing in dog leashes and accessories and located at sporn.com, are probably pretty nervous.

Posted by Lindsay at 5:45 PM in Video Games
Tags: Spore | Sporn

Comments (1) latest by zach