Nope. No. Nunh-unh. "But Gabe, they have a website." So? Everyone has a website. Your mom has a website. It's called htttp://www.mommyshomepage.com, and she hasn't updated it in nine months. What is up with her, anyway? (Thanks for the tip, Adam and Antonia.)
Posted by Gabe at 3:15 PM in Parodies, Video Games
Tags: Fake | Mass: We Pray | Nope | Religion | Wii
Great News, Ninjas • You neden holes can play XBOX 360 against the Insane Clown Posse, Friday, October 30 starting at 4:00 P.M! Sick! It's the second best thing after committing a hate crime with the Insane Clown Posse. I hope the screen name Juggalo_69 isn't already taken (just kidding, obviously it is already taken).
Have you ever had something taken away that you didn't even know was yours to begin with? It's a strange feeling. There's loss and remorse, but loss and remorse over what? Loss and remorse over what might have been! That's what. Such is the case with the American Idol Arcade Videogame DVD Factory Kiosk. In an ideal world, this game would be a coin-operated (or dollar-bill-operated, or whatever) booth in an arcade where you could sing karaoke to your favorite songs, and most importantly, A DVD OF YOUR PERFORMANCE WOULD BE RECORDED. Yesssss. It was in development, but it has been canceled. No one remains untouched by this economic crisis, not even the American Idol Arcade Videogame DVD Factory Kiosk. In any case, the game's programmers and developers aren't happy! Angry nerds! Well I am not happy either. Because just look at the glimpse these test videos provide of what might have been:
Continue reading Oh, American Idol Arcade Game, We Hardly/Never Knew You...
Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in Video Games
Tags: American Idol | Kara DioGuardi | Karaoke | Paula Abdul | Randy Jackson | Simon Cowell
I had never realized that Sonic and Tails were high school rivals who used the chaos emeralds (which were not chaos emeralds, probably?) to fight over who should or should not be in detention. And are not gay, but you might think they are gay, why would you think that, because they are. Also racist. This kid is seriously the best kid. He doesn't need friends to have fun, which works out pretty conveniently. The tales will go on forever, probably. (Thanks for the tip, Colin.)
Posted by Gabe at 12:00 PM in Video Games
Tags: Adventure | Kids | Nerds | Sonic The Hedgehog
Check these fun guys out. To serve (digital bowling balls) and protect (their high scores). From the AP:
Minutes after storming into the Florida home of a convicted drug dealer, some Polk county undercover drug investigators were caught on tape playing a Wii video bowling game for over an hour.
What? What are they supposed to do? NOT play Wii Bowling for over an hour? Be realistic.
Video evidence after the jump.
Continue reading Cops Take A Quick Break From Raiding Drug Dealer's House To Play Wii Bowling. What?...
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in Justice, Video Games
Tags: Crime | Drugs | Police | Wii
Nerds, cut it out! I know that you figure that life has been hard enough, what with the always being picked last and shoved into lockers and stuff and that you deserve to be free to find your fun wherever you can. And I'm not saying any of that is even remotely fair, we all deserve to live our lives without the constant threat of abuse (both physical and psychological) from people we haven't harmed in any way. And we all deserve to take whatever joy in life we can find. But you also have to take some responsibility at this point. You've created a steering wheel to play a $0.99 videogame on your telephone. It has a suction cup to make sure that there is no "unnecessary motion." You know where else there isn't any unnecessary motion? In your bedroom.
Continue reading Tiny iPhone Steering Wheel Is Tiny Reminder Of Why Nerds Are Lonely...
Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Free Advertising, Video Games
Tags: Advice | iPhone | iPods | Nerds
For months, your friends and family have been very concerned about your well-being. You hardly ever go out anymore, spending almost all of your time holed away in your parents' basement, up until all hours, hunched over, irritable, putting the finishing touches on your videogame. People who genuinely care about you are like "this is not healthy, you are subsisting on a diet of Cheetos and Diet Red Bull, and your skin is as pale as Robert Pattinson's naturally hairless armpits. Your eyes are dark-ringed and sunken. There is a smell that comes off you. When was the last time that you took a proper shower? You hardly even bother to turn on any lights while you are down there! You have to turn on lights, you are going to hurt your eyes!" And you just turn to them, with your vampire face, with your bent claw-hands, dust at the corners of your colorless mouth, and you explain to them that such is the life of the computer programmer. "MYST WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY," you shout.
When they see this trailer for your videogame, they will probably stop giving you such a hard time, genius.
Continue reading This Is Your Videogame: Enviro-Bear 2000: Operation: Hibernation...
Posted by Gabe at 2:45 PM in Video Games
Tags: Enviro-Bear 2000 Operation: Hibernation
And it ends with a World of Warcraft gay pride dance party? This is an important reminder that sometimes nerds are the best.
The best part of this (uh, besides all of it?) is that this is the 5th annual Proudmoore World of Warcraft gay pride parade. 5th Annual! That'll do, internet. That'll do. (Via BuzzFeed.)
Posted by Gabe at 4:30 PM in Video Games, WebJunk
Tags: Homosexuals | Nerds | World Of Warcraft
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Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
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