Kids Make Incredible, Mildly Depressing Documentaries The Darndest Things
Zachary is the best, and I would not be surprised if he gets a call from Hollywood soon asking him to do all of the soundtracks for everything. Seriously, move over John Williams. Your time has passed. It's Zachary's time now.
This video is particularly great, though, because kids rarely have any real conception of what it means to do something when you grow up, much less what the path was that got you there. Even most of us adults grapple with what all that means. It was a lot simpler when the choices were "fireman" and/or "magician." But, like, "lab technician"? I bet that guy loved getting the question "why did you chose this job?" It's probably his favorite question.
Keep up the good work, Zachary! You're a regular Albert and David Maysles. (Thanks for the tip, Aftershock.)
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Train Wreck Documentaries
Tags: Children | Work
He's been wanting to do a film for years, and years and years you guys.
Score = 23
That's at least 6 years! He's only 5! Liar!
Also, did he say he goes to Downs Elementary?
Score = 10
I sometimes regret giving up on my childhood dream to become an astronaut-fireman-cowboy-Jedi.
Score = 13
I gotta tell you, as someone who is a CPAFCJ, the hours suck and the pay is pretty mediocre.
Score = 13
pastor bo got way too much screen time, right?
Score = 10
That is not a furbie/furby little boy!
Score = 5
Little man's gotta go to the bathroom, stat!
Score = 2
"Awww, that job chose me! I was working on board a ship and I began having some interesting faith conversations with people. Sailors on that ship."
So basically, he was forced into being a pastor because he was scared about what his mum and dad would think about his homosexuality?!
Score = 15
I was just going to say something like "Pastor Bo be gay," but your comment is much classier.
Score = 10
Pastor Vicki be a recovering meth addict?
Score = 8
I like "Grandma: Patent Manager." I mean that is basically what all grandmas aspire to have their grandchildren think of them as right?
Score = 5
"I prefer to doing my chemistry on paper rather than in the laboratory."
What the hell kind of chemist is she?
Score = 8
The Timothy Leary kind?
Score = 15
not to get all professional scientistgum, but the people who actually work on the lab benches tend to be lower paid than the people who analyze results.
Score = 4
Carpentry isn't the only thing in Uncle Bryan's blood. It also contains alcohol and THC.
Score = 13
Pitchfork always pushes "The Soul of My Heart" but i much prefer "50 Lions."
It may be his most quotidian work yet, wallowing in the banality of adult employment, but young ZChrist is a haunting, revelatory lyricist: lines like "AaAaAaaaaaa!!!"and "50 Lions!!!" are tight with meaning and evocative finesse, equal parts Will Sheff and Raffi. Moreover, Zachary Christie's vocal gymnastics are truly astounding: as the track builds to its dizzying kiddiecore climax, his performance becomes manically unhinged, lurching and chugging with the sincerity of childhood.
Score = 21
"kiddiecore" is just too provocative a word to really exist. Would you mind de-existing it for me? Thanks, pussycake.
Also, was he using autotune?
Score = 11
Oh wait, that was the kid's music? I thought it was Sigur Ros.
Score = 10
the phrase "dizzying kiddiecore climax" makes me feel very icky.
Score = 0
So this is what takes place in Delaware.
Score = 7
What is with the constantly shifting white flowers in the background? Was this filmed at a funeral home?
This kid needs to stop listening to This American Life (his obvious influence). Save that program for when you're a mildly depressed twentysomething like the rest of us!
Score = 5
Did you guys see that this kid got kicked out of school for bringing camping utensils in? We gotta help Lil' Errol Morris! http://www.leeirving.com/gem/index.html
Score = 6
Gah, you beat me to the punch. This story's received enough media attention now that the school board is probably going to find a way to bend the rules for him so he won't have to go to reform school (aka being homeschooled because what sane parent is going to send their normal 6-year-old child to reform school) for 40 days.
Score = 1
this vaguely happened to me. i brought in a mini swiss army knife for a project when i was 9. it was taken from me and given to my bus driver at the end of the day. he gave it back to me when he dropped me off. you know, because kids and knives are safe only when they're alone together.
Score = 5
Holy shit! Fighting this is something we can get everybody to agree on. This will unite the country! Keith Olbermann and Ann Coulter will be singing "Save Zack" folk songs together!
Score = 5
This kid is going to have a book deal in 5...4...3...2..
Score = -1
i am so charmed by this video. and also i like how the women in his family have some pretty sweet jobs. his church has a female pastor and his grandma is a chemist. if shes been one all her life then she became one in the 70s. that is awesome. give this kid a break, because he rules and his song about lions rules. he can make a follow up video in 20 years when he is a professional movie scorer. "I just finished scoring a movie about lions."
Score = 3
"Now, let's get to the end." That's how I feel about Renée Zellweger movies.
Score = 0
How come the steel worker's job didn't choose him? Does god hate American industry?
Score = 1
I know it's not his fault or anything but the guy at 1:29 bears an eerily uncanny resemblance to Terry Nichols' (oklahoma city bomber accomplice) brother.
So when he said "I'm a lab technician" my first thoughts were "UH-OHHHHHHH"
Score = 1