Cougar Hotel
Excuse me, WHO GAVE THE COUGARS THEIR OWN CONVENTION? Didn't you read the sign? It says PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE COUGARS*. (NSFW, headphones UP!)
Uh....is this real life?
It must be weird for you seeing all your boyfriends AND girlfriends in the same place. You used to pound and/or get pounded by all of these people. (Yuck. Sorry.) Back braces and arthritis medication bottles all over the floor. "Let's get in the hot tub!" "You know that I can't get in the hot tub with my heart. Let's just describe the hot tub to each other." Treating niggas right (that guy is still and will always be your boyfriend who you love and want to marry probably you love him so much). (Via BuzzFeed.)
*Let us hope this is the laziest and lamest joke of the day.
Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in Train Wreck Documentaries
Tags: Cougars | Industry Conventions | Nightmares
Looks like we're gonna need a bigger boat. *Barf*
Score = 0
Do you think that guy woke up this morning and went, "got my Benji Button style flatcap on, nice, I won't tie my tie right to the top, sweet. Hmmmm....the sideburns need trimmed. STYLISH. Wait, should I completely untuck this two sizes too big shirt from my trousers? I feel like I could be in Entourage now..."?
Score = 3
Also, I feel he could have worded it better than 'when old ladies fuck young boys'. It's not Motherboy.
Score = 8
"Young Penises and Old Vaginas" is what FOX is going to call their new reality show.
Score = 23
I miss the good ole days when the worst thing a cougar ever did was terrorize Kim Bauer.
Score = 10
I was going to correct Gabe and tell him I'm not gay, but once I saw the whole video I said to myself: "hmmm, he's right. that is my boyfriend."
Score = 7
Let's not beat around the gray haired bush, these terrible women deserve these terrible men.
Score = 32
Damn it. She told me she was traveling on business. And this is how I find out where she really was. I bought her those damn cougar ears. They were our special thing...
Score = 12
The guy who wants to have sex with these women "on all fours" isn't my boyfriend, because its me. Seriously (not seriously), I am that guy who gets giddy and obscene when talking about banging some old broads.
Score = 4
Now I need Dusty Rhodes to eye-gouge this out of my eyes. Especially that sweaty, mustachioed, low-rent Tom Selleck look-alike, whose last name is almost "Goose."
Score = 1
OH GOD, IS THAT WOMAN WEARING CAT EARS? This thing is awful enough without taking the cat metaphor any further.
Score = 1
Twelve years ago I would have been SO EXCITED about my boyfriend being Isaac Hanson
Now it's just sad. Mmm Bop, y'all.
Score = 40
Your comment, but most especially your avatar, makes you my favorite Videogum user today.
Score = 0
Yay - I feel so understood!
Score = 0
I think he looks more like Pickup Artist ringer Greg Fellows:
Score = 4
Is anyone else terrified that 30 Rock is effectively predicting the future?
Score = 5
40 is the new :(
Score = 18
"On ALL FOURS DUDE HAHA." Oh noes.
My only regret is not being able to catch the reverse angle shot, which features the sunglasses-worn-upside-down-and-backwards-on-the-head-WHILST-INDOORS trick, also known as the zenith of douchebaggery.
Score = 17
How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?
Score = 12
Holy shit! That's CHET
Score = 2
Thanks for covering the NAWBLA convention, CurrentTV!
Score = 10
Oh, come on. You guys totally would've done "The Ultimate Cougar."
Score = 3
Yikes.
Also, Jennifer Aniston is a cougar?
Score = 6
It's true! A lot of women throughout history have enjoyed the comfort of younger men. From Elizabeth I and Catherine the Great (who also loved younger horses), to proto-Cougar Cher and Martha Raye, Denture Wearer. It's all true, and you can read more about it at your local public library.
Score = 10
I'm just surprised she's considered old enough to be a cougar
Score = 7
i feel unconsolably sad
Score = 3
I wonder how dedicated they are to the "single" aspect of this whole thing. Were they turning MILFs away at the door, pointing at the "Single Cougars Convention" sign and shaking their heads in disgust?
Score = 10
"I'm sorry ladies, but we have certain moral standards here."
Score = 4
this is a disgrace.
Score = 2
Mom really hasn't been the same since dad left
Score = 11
This wasn't as disturbing to me as that time when Conor interviewed the "deaditor" of Girls and Corpses magazine.
Score = 0
"We got cougar magicians, cougar hypnotists...We got cougars on stilts all up in that bitch!"
Score = 18
Can anyone attend or do you have look like you still hang around college campuses on Friday nights hoping that those awesome kids will invite you to their parties and people will just think you're the most awesome guy ever and totally ignore the fact that you graduated several years ago but still choose to live on campus and girls will totally want you to give them some, but you know this will never really happen so you buy expensive plane tickets to attend a convention for depressed old women desperate to reconnect with youth culture because the same girls that you tried to sleep with on college campuses hate their cougar mothers and haven't talked to them or visited them in a while because they are despearate old women sleeping with despearate older young men like the kind on college campuses who graduated several years ago.
Score = 9
I know where these ladies could find THOUSANDS of eager and eligible young men. Pretty much the only caveat being that the ladies ought to be mildly turned on by face paint.
Score = 14
Everyone in that video is hereby grounded.
Forever.
In jail.
Score = 4
I wonder what the cougar motivational speaker talked about. Cos I could sure use a cougar focused pick me up these days.
Score = 0
that clip effective quashes any ideas people might harbor that the bay area is a mecca of enlightenment. we have more than enough ew to go around!
i find the graphic discussion of genitals to be deeply unpleasant so it's better that i didn't attend this. (that's the only reason i'm glad i didn't attend.)
Score = 0
"Demi Moore and Ashton Koocher"
Score = 2
I wonder how many of these cougars left their lions and cubs at home in the den while they were out "hunting for food."
Score = 0
that guy looks like Jim from the Office drank a lot of beer
Score = 0
Hopefully all those cougars have already gone through menopause, because who needs more of any of that?
WHoops.
Menopause? I meant Cougarpaws.
Score = 2