The Lovely Bones Brings Magic And Wonder Back To Child Rape-Homicide
The Lovely Bones trailer, you guys:
He has done it! Peter Jackson has brought Alice Sebold's miserable book The Lovely Bones (the Tuesdays with Morrie of horrific child rape-homicide) to life/death! It does look a little like What Dreams May Come, but I bet you that in Peter Jackson's heaven, no dead children are pretending to be Asian airline stewardesses. And if nothing else, the math is definitely in Jackson's favor:
Mark Wahlberg > Robin Williams
Susan Sarandon > Cuba Gooding Jr.
Michael Imperioli +/- Annabella Sciorra
Child Rape Homicide :( Car Crash
Bingo.
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Trailer
Tags: Alice Sebold | Heaven | Mark Wahlberg | Michael Imperioli | Murder | Peter Jackson | Susan Sarandon | The Lovely Bones
Trying to come up with a Mark Wahlberg / "Boogie Nights" / "Lovely Bone" joke; so far not having much luck.
Score = 8
I read the script. Right when Mark Wahlberg is about to make love to Rachel Weisz he looks her deeply in the eyes and say,"LIE STILL, LIE STILL OR I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE GODDAMN FACE!" And while all this is going on Burt Reynolds is sitting in the corner smoking a cigarillo while nodding in approval.
Score = 2
Too easy. It's a 1:1:1 ratio of prosthetic enhancement jokes. Probably why no one else said it yet. Or they have class. Not sure which.
Score = 3
I would love to comment on this trailer, but I'm too busy wondering why Peter Jackson looks like he stole my dead grandad's body and possessed it wrong.
Score = 1
I like the way Mr. Hobbit Master slowly introduces the trailer like a half-enthusiastic zombie, without blinking once (he doesn't blink once!).
Score = 1
Mark Wahlberg should never have been cast as the father (mostly because he's such an awful actor). Otherwise it looks really good.
Score = 0
Andy Samberg as Mark Wahlberg as the Dad would be more credible.
Score = 11
Mark Wahlberg does a decent job with the right directors. Anderson and Scorsese have both gotten good performances out of him.
He seems to play down to the material, rather than lifting it. (See: The Happening, Max Payne)
Score = 5
Why would I ever voluntarily see those films? Oh, yeah, TWMOAT, duh! Thanks, Gabe.
- My Eyes
Score = 1
he should advertise at is this film as a weight loss product
before and after shots i reckon
Score = 1
That was a terrible sentence.
Score = 21
...and not just because it ended with the phrase "I reckon"
but an edit button would bring about the end of civilization.
Score = 0
SPOILER: Robot Robin Williams done it!
Score = 1
"Grandma, Suzie's in the in between"
"No Jimmy... and also... I'm beginning to think you're a little retarded based on how big the sun is in that shitty little finger painting of yours. We don't live in Costa Rica. Now... be a good little stain and rub Grammy's corns."
Score = 13
Ok, so the ship in the bottle represents an idealization of the father-daughter bond, which, thus broken, symbolizes a need for a spiritual beacon (candle in the window) and a return to innocence (rose in the lake?), which contrasts the narrative function of the classic "mustache/glasses" trope (Tucci-Pedo).
Score = 4
1. I sleep in an extra five minutes.
2. Paramount Pictures files a copyright claim on Gabe's trailer.
3. Decide I'm too lazy to search for this trailer anywhere.
4. Decide to comment as though I watched the trailer anyways.
"My girlfriend read this book while we were at the beach. No sex after chapter one! :-( "Lovely Bones" may be title, but it sure doesn't describe the non-action you get when girls read melodramatic shit like this!"
5. Hit the showers, Smokey.
Score = -1
Casting Bob Odenkirk as the child rapist is inspired casting.
Score = 5
The video is no longer available, but I can just imagine the child rape now
Score = 1
Ryan Gosling was supposed to play the part of the father but was replaced by Mark Wahlberg. Gosling > Wahlberg > Williams
Wahlberg has been his best in roles where he played a cop or a firefighter, not much range there.
Score = 0
Porn star?
Score = 2
considering the book was as cheesy as chedder I'm going to go ahead and call this trailer the biggest chunk of schlock on toast.
Even though I cant see it.
Score = 0
Nice to hear the Skittle 'Taste the rainbow' girl getting some voice over work at the end.
Score = 4
looking for my blockbuster book to film fix this year ill prob go with The Road, interested to see how PJ translates this story to film thou
Score = 1
Say hi to your dead daughter for me, alright?
Score = 23
"When I see that kid, I'm going to crack that big fucking nose of his. Then I'm going to tell him, 'say hi to your mother for me'.... I'm going to go down to '30 Rock'.. and I'm going to slap him in the nose... I guaran-fucking-tee you."
Score = -1
"So you got raped and murdered, huh? What's that like?"
Score = 14
since the book was terrible, and the movie is always worse than the book, this movie is going to be fucking unbearable times one million.
i like how this post is 7thgrademathvideogum!
Score = 0
Based on the blue skies and all the little girls running around, seems like Frodo has really done an awesome job of cleaning up Mordor.
Score = 12
Did anyone else have to watch a different trailer before being able to watch this trailer? In the future, will we have to watch 5 trailers to watch the one trailer you want? Fun times.
Score = 7
Yes. "A Perfect Getaway". Because the 73 times I've had to see that ad on TV apparently weren't enough.
Score = 0
Yes, district 9. So at first I thought: Is this what The Lovely Bones is about? Aliens?
Score = 0
would love to see it, but i'll be at the juggalo gathering.
Score = 16
I hated the book but the movie looks pretty good.
Score = 3
Where are the fine looking bones I was promised?
Score = 18
I wouldn't necessarily believe everything Saoirse Ronan tells you about her rapist-murderer. She's rather fanciful.
Score = 3
did I see Brian Eno's name at the end?
Score = 1
I haven't read the book but is it bad that I actually kind of like the premise? I mean, thanks to the opinions I've heard, I'll probably still skip the book and the trailer looked like crap, but I actually think the basic premise could make a relatively interesting story.
Score = 0
I haven't read so much as the back cover of this book and this trailer is the first I've heard of the movie. However, I feel like I already know every single thing that happens. For those of you who have read it, is it all pretty much laid out in the trailer?
Score = 0
I'm afraid that this movie seems to idealize the after-effects of being raped/murdered. Young girls these days are so impressionable, you know. We could see a new wave of those rainbow party things, but with a lot more murder and rape.
Score = 3
Wait.
"Original music by Brian Eno"
Really? OK.
Score = 3
Dear Susie,
Your dream world looks like shit.
Score = 1
Man, I must be the only person in the world who liked this book/thinks the movie looks good. BRB scouring myself of all residues of other opinions!
Score = 0
um...i already miss the fat peter jackson...who knew all the talent was in the excess flab....
Score = 0
i'm wondering what they'll do with the rape scene.
will saoirse ronan become the second jodie foster(in taxi driver)or the second dakota fanning(in hounddog)???
Score = 0
i'm wondering what they'll do with the rape scene.
will saoirse ronan become the second jodie foster(in taxi driver)or the second dakota fanning(in hounddog)???
Score = 0