The Friday The 13th Remake Looks Hilarious
I don't know if it's because you can't really care enough about a character from the first 30 seconds of a trailer to give a shit if they're murdered in the last 30 seconds of the trailer, or if it's the fact that spooky campground slasher films have been parodied so much that there's an almost Pavlovian giggle response (Whoops, I meant Pavlovian laugh response. I DON'T giggle, EVER.) But the trailer is as funny as it is not scary, and it is very not scary.
Get off the floor! Isn't it so scary when someone slowly cuts a hole in the floor with a machete and you're trying to stay off the hole but accidentally you're just standing right where they cut the hole and then you fall into the floor and they get you. So scary. Oh, and, uh, SPOILER ALERT, I think that girl dies at the end. Granted, they did cut that scene two images before the knife split her head in TWAIN, but I'm pretty sure I remember just enough high school physics to recognize that even if the Lakewood High linebacker manages to squeeze off a dying shot (that's what she said?) with his blood-streaked shotgun, the momentum of Jason's downward swing will still totally cleave her face.
Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in Trailer
Tags: Friday The 13th
Nobody expects a Friday the 13th to be a great piece of cinema. Judging by the last installments this looks pretty good in comparison. People don't expect more than to just have a good time watching Jason kill a bunch of unsuspecting teenagers.
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No no no, he shoots the machete then Mr. Voorhees in the face.
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Lakewood High "quarterback", Gabe. Quarterback. Come on man, you know how these go.
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Needs more screaming.
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Needs less everything.
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I just hate it when I decide to go to abandoned summer camps at night and it just so happens crazy people with machetes are attacking me. What are the chances!? This is just the typical scary movie where in order for everyone to die, everything must go wrong...and it does. I mean when are we gonna see a horror movie that isn't torture porn, crap sucking awfulness? Don't answer that.
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jason must have been so excited to have some teenagers wander into his lair!
i bet he got pretty bored sometimes, hanging out there, burning candles, alone, just waiting for something to happen. i bet he sometimes thought of giving up on that spot, since it was all abandoned and creepy and no one came there.
but he stuck to his guns (machetes?) and he was rewarded for his perseverance.
kudos, jason!
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Comment of the week.
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