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July 23, 2009

Scientists Create The World's Most Perfect Movie Trailer

thumbnail icon: Scientists Create The World's Most Perfect Movie Trailer

"Hello. We've gathered you all here today because you are some of the most intelligent minds in your respective fields. We have scientists from all of the major disciplines: space and chemistry and physics and nuclear and brain. All of the best science. The reason we've gathered you here today is because a new straight-to-DVD horror movie called Birdemic--please, hold your applause until after the introductions are finished--is in need of a movie trailer, and we were hoping that you, scientists, can create it.

What we want from you is simple. Please work together as a group to harness all of your brain power and all of your incredible knowledge on the singular task of combining long, dull, panning shots of a boring landscape, with hissy ambient audio directly from a camcorder's built in microphone, and MS Paint caliber graphics of what could only be described as a BIRDEMIC, to blow all of the minds (including, especially, Communist minds). Take about three minutes to edit it together, and let's see what you come up with."

Hahaha! Literally incredible. You nailed it, scientists.

Bartender, a round of Nobel Prizes for my friends. (Via FilmDrunk.)

Posted by Gabe at 2:15 PM in
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50 Comments

Gabe, not that your ego needs a brojob after yet another topless photo recollection this morning, but between "Oh look, it's Metaphor University, asking me to be the DEAN," and "Bartender, a round of Nobel Prizes for my friends," you're really on fire today.

Posted by: heywoodjewbrome profile link at 07/23/09 2:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 40 Vote up Vote down

It's the flying toaster screensaver of movies.

Posted by: oh. profile link at 07/23/09 2:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 27 Vote up Vote down

I can't watch the trailer because I'm an adult and am at work, but I hope Swinedemic is to follow.

Posted by: Lyle at 07/23/09 2:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

1) When the movie title was getting shot at the end of this "trailer", I thought it was the beginning of keyboard cat.

2) Why super fast smoke bombs going off?

3) (c) 2005-2007. Two years?

4) Where can I see this?

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link at 07/23/09 2:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

THIS WAS SO TERRIFYING I NEARLY CRAPPED MY PANTS.

Posted by: bob loblaw at 07/23/09 2:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Please stop. We will not visit your blog. Leave the photoshopping to the professionals (aka Gabe).

Posted by: beunoseuno  in reply to  Run Run Riot's comment at 07/23/09 3:14 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

I shall not be a troll no more forever. Wish granted.

Posted by: Run Run Riot profile link  in reply to  beunoseuno's comment at 07/23/09 3:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

While I too think your photoshopping has been less than stellar, for god's sake don't do anything on account of beunoseuno. You aren't half the troll he is.

Posted by: Dave  in reply to  Run Run Riot's comment at 07/23/09 4:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

Well at the very least there will be no more website plugging. I didn't understand the rules of the internet and I truly do apologize

Posted by: Run Run Riot profile link  in reply to  Dave 's comment at 07/23/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Wow, I literally could have made that.

Posted by: etc profile link at 07/23/09 2:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

What are the birds eating that they explode upon impact with the ground? PURE HORROR?!?!

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 07/23/09 2:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

the producer probably fed them alka-seltzer tablets. realism was always to be priority 1 for this production

Posted by: Skillet profile link  in reply to  kiss the pan's comment at 07/23/09 3:24 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

I want these flying explosive birds as my screen saver (and the sound, i'm gonna need the sound as well).

Posted by: Santa profile link at 07/23/09 2:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Say what you will, but my communist mind completely blown!

Posted by: Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up profile link at 07/23/09 2:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Can't wait for the Tim Burton remake.

Posted by: ber profile link at 07/23/09 2:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 43 Vote up Vote down

I didn't know a large group of birds could sound like the constant scraping of forks on a chalkboard.

Posted by: Evan at 07/23/09 3:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I had the sound all the way up! I had the sound all the fucking way up! I just pissed myself!

Posted by: Sharky profile link at 07/23/09 3:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 44 Vote up Vote down

Yeah, I know how that feels. I skipped ahead to see if anything was actually going to happen and then my eardrums exploded.

Posted by: boo  in reply to  Sharky's comment at 07/23/09 3:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

IMDB synopsis of this Romance / Thriller: "A platoon of eagle & vultures attack the residence of a small town. Many people died. It's not known what caused the flying menace to attack. Two people managed to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?"


(Emphasis mine)

Posted by: Merritt profile link at 07/23/09 3:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 31 Vote up Vote down

Dive-bombing exploding hover birds are scary, sure, but shouldn't they have been hoverdivebombexploding over more than one town in order to be epid-, pand-, or some other, less well known, -emic?

Posted by: noahpoah at 07/23/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

At least they didn't mention that Drew Barrymore directed it.

Posted by: Lucky at 07/23/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

"Brought to you by the Greater Watsonville, California Board of Tourism and Game Fowl"

Posted by: Skillet profile link at 07/23/09 3:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

"From the mind of Diablo Cody"...

Posted by: ehem  in reply to  Skillet's comment at 07/23/09 7:46 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Alfred Hitchcock is gonna be so mad he didn't think of this first.

Posted by: boo at 07/23/09 3:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 37 Vote up Vote down

Well, Hitchcock had a good run, but it's clearly time for him to step aside and let someone else into the profile.

Posted by: booferama profile link at 07/23/09 3:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

This is from the same dude who made this:
http://videogum.com/archives/trailer/julie-and-jack-another-terribl_061611.html

gross.


Posted by: Matt at 07/23/09 3:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

On the topic of straight-to-dvds, just watched Visioneers with Zach Galifianakis and i recommend it to all, great film.

Posted by: simonsays profile link at 07/23/09 3:24 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This is the worst video to watch when you have had less than two hours of sleep. I am going to be having waking nightmares of birds up above divebombing me and exploding, for the rest of the day. Perfect.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 07/23/09 3:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

so theyre finally making a hamsterdance movie?

Posted by: super! profile link at 07/23/09 3:26 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I never would have expected something like this from Moviehead Productions.

Posted by: K profile link at 07/23/09 3:31 PM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

I didn't know birds were made out of match heads.

Posted by: thenaritaline profile link at 07/23/09 3:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

By "straight to DVD" you mean the director burned a bunch of copies from his laptop. They're five dollars or whatever you can afford. RIght?

Posted by: ProYoko at 07/23/09 3:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Apparently a sequel is already in "production."

http://www.movieheadpictures.com/BIRDEMIC-TheResurrection.html

Posted by: whoatom101 profile link at 07/23/09 3:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

'In 3D', no less. This way you'll be able to see both layers of the action.

Posted by: caractacus  in reply to  whoatom101's comment at 07/23/09 4:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Since when do birds fly in place?

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 07/23/09 4:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Love that the quote on the circa 1996 Angelfire page for Birdemic is taken way out of context. Here's the full review. I need this movie.

http://lazloscloset.blogspot.com/2009/02/birdemic-shock-and-terror-lazlos-closet.html

Posted by: Mark at 07/23/09 4:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Holy shit that acid's starting to kick in.

Posted by: Ugah profile link at 07/23/09 5:21 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

That honestly looked like a Windows 95 screensaver

Posted by: Dan at 07/23/09 6:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

OH, GREAT. NOW what am i gonna call my andrew bird road doc?

DAMN YOU, JAMES NGUYEN!!!

Posted by: billy profile link at 07/23/09 6:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I think I like the synopsis for the in-production sequel even more:

A platoon of eagles and vultures attack Hollywood, California.
Why did the eagles and vultures attack?

Posted by: Magnus390 profile link at 07/23/09 6:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Shock and Terror - more like Shock and Caw!

Posted by: mahotoe at 07/23/09 6:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

were those last two shots just looped blingees???

Posted by: Becca profile link at 07/23/09 7:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Clearly the guys who made this were on whatever the After Last Season people were.

Posted by: Dept. of Good Ideas profile link at 07/23/09 10:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Holy god he's right. This guy deserves all the Nobels we have, plus maybe a second run of 'em if we can make that happen.
So there's this amazing Birds homage (this movie also deserves all the French we can muster) But not only that, Tippi Hedren's actually in the other one. This is exactly what schizophrenia feels like isn't it? It all begins to fall into place, but the shape it makes still has no meaning. Where's bizarro Leonard Nimoy when you need him?

Posted by: Gursky at 07/23/09 11:45 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

yikes. i dont even want to see the trailer after watching the trailer

Posted by: five inches but its thick at 07/24/09 1:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

yikes. i dont even want to see the trailer after that trailer

Posted by: five inches but its thick at 07/24/09 1:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

That just made my dog lose his mind. I watched this five minutes ago and he's still staring out the window growling.

Posted by: Robotqueen profile link at 07/24/09 7:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I'd like to know why this "birdemic" causes these birds to shit missiles. sign me up!

Posted by: tactfulcactus profile link at 07/25/09 9:55 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This movie is my boyfriend and we are so in love.

Posted by: Elizabeth profile link at 07/25/09 6:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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