Inglourious Basterds Looks Terrable
We haven't posted the Inglourious Basterds teaser trailer yet this week because the only versions available were those clips from Entertainment Tonight where those dumb-dumbs talk over the whole thing. What's that all about anyway? Those guys should shut up. That show should be called WE-T, short for We Should Shut Up Tonight, am I right, you guys? Woof. Long day. So now there is a clean, un-talked-over-by-idiots version of the teaser trailer, and wow, this movie looks bad!
Do the math. Eli Roth plus Brad Pitt's terrible accent plus the miscasting of BJ Novak plus the disgraceful use of World War II as the backdrop for Grindhouse 2: Axxxis of Evil = total booacaust. Even with the extra credit points they earned with Samm Levine, it's not enough to pass. So, FAIL. Maybe this will be the last one. Maybe Quentin Tarantino, the self-important vampire bully, will be forced to retire to his zebra-printed boom boom coffin and leave us alone now. Fingers crossed.
Posted by Gabe at 5:15 PM in Trailer
Tags: BJ Novak | Brad Pitt | Eli Roth | Inglourious Basterds | Nazis | Quentin Tarantino | Samm Levine | Urkel
If there isn't a half hour long conversation about how a table works, I'll be severely disappointed.
Score = 8
i hope that is as much as brad pitt speaks in the film. i'd rather listen to samuel l jackson... where the fuck is he?
Score = -4
Dear Gabe,
It's a trailer. Please get off your high horse.
Thanks,
Everyone
Score = 6
don't include me in your thanks. this is a terrible trailer, and based on the script i read, this movie is not going to rank up there with 'pulp fiction' and 'kill bill.'
Score = 9
Me too Me too. I thought this trailer was a joke. WHOOPS.
and yay bruce lee game icon!
Score = -2
This actually looks good, in a "fuck it, we'll do it live," this makes no sense, blow shit up sort of way. You know, like that.
Score = 42
I think the problem is that Tarantino "has mistaken him having a fun time with us having a fun time."
Score = 18
Another perfect Tarantino soundtrack. I love the use of death metal that was so popular in the '40s.
Score = 20
At least Brad Pitt sounds like Brad Pitt doing a stupid accent and not Tarantino doing a stupid accent. As good as his early stuff was I hate to say I think QT is played out.
Kill Bill and Grindhouse are just spot the reference games for movie nerds. "Oh look that's from Master of Flying Guillotine, that's from They Call Her One Eye, that's from Lady Snowblood." Enough already. Whooptee fucking do!
QT himself was always a bit of a cartoon but now he's forcing actors to do impressions of him. A dude playin' a dude who's really another dude pretending to be some nerd wet dream of a concept of a dude. It's just all so fake.
Score = 3
Yeah, looks like a WWII film an 8th grade drop out would make.
Score = -2
Agree 100%. I can imagine attributing this kind of insanely juvenile wish-fulfillment to a comics-drunk jr.high-schooler after first learning about the holocaust or ww2. It just looks like a fabulist temper tantrum.
Score = -1
tarantino did drop out of school, im just pointing that out as his films get progressively stupid. the guy wasn't that smart to begin with, now he's balding and senile. think about it.
Score = 0
The real travesty is that this is the only post in the Videogum archives with the Samm Levine tag.
Score = 18
are you serious, you're talking about a trailer for a movie called INGLORIOUS BASTERDS. first of all, look at the title, its about american jewish soldiers who go out and scalp nazis, and thats only one plot of the movie, its got two. do you get paid to analyze movie trailers online, cause youre corny son. maybe this will be the last one, the only thing that FAILED is your shitty review of a trailer for a movie coming out in august
Score = -34
qtpie is in his kill bill t-shirt crying. LOL at him
Score = 25
Now, now, dear, calm down.
Score = 0
I can't wait for someone to review this movie using Downfall.
Score = 7
"qtpie is in his kill bill t-shirt crying. LOL at him" Could you be more gay...
Score = -40
hahahahaha BLV is in his i heart qtpie shirt crying. LOL at him
Score = 53
I'm Gabe! The internet makes me better than every other thing! I am fulfilled when weak people agree with me and copy the jokes I pointlessly repeat! (I am not fulfilled when weak people agree with me and copy the jokes I pointlessly repeat.)
Score = -8
You're a dumb-dumb. What's that all about, anyway? You should shut up. Am I right, you guys? Woof. Long day. Do the math. David = total booacaust. Even with the extra credit of insight about weak people copying Gabe and Gabe feeling empowered by the internet, it's not enough to pass. So, FAIL. Maybe this post will be David's last one. Maybe David, the self-important vampire bully, will be forced to retire to his zebra-printed boom boom coffin and leave us alone now. Fingers crossed.
Score = 19
Uhhmmm...you're missing lots of :(...like if there could be a super :( it should be in there.
Score = 4
This film could easily be saved with space robots.
Know your audience, Tarantino.
Score = 23
Brad pitt looks like popeye in this
I LOVES ME SCALPS...
Score = 4
When did become cool to hate on Tarantino. Sure, he's a tool, he's always been a tool, but I've enjoyed his work. His propensity to constantly serve homages to the filmic characteristics he loves are no different than Carol Reid paying tribute to Citizen Kane in The Third Man, a mere eight years after the film was released (Orson Wells was even in the bloody picture), or even how Girl Talk utilizes the postmodern condition to make his work palpable. While Tarantino is not my favorite filmmaker, he gets a lot of slack from hipster commentators.
Score = 14
people admitting that the emperor is actually naked is not the same thing as "it becom[ing] cool to hate" an artist whose work is overrated.
Score = 2
In that case, I hate the Godfather, the Mona Lisa, and Earth.
So overrated. Thank you for validating me and allowing me to finally say it!
Score = 2
Your analogy is spot-on. The Earth and a Tarantino movie are totally the same thing and of equal importance in our lives.
Score = 14
You confused 'slack' with 'flak,' smarty pants.
Score = 5
Apparently you didn't see the real Worst Movie of All Time: "Death Proof". That's about when hating on someone who thinks B-movies are arguably brilliant and worth using as influence became more acceptable than before.
Score = -2
"You haven't seen war until you've seen it through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino." I didn't know Quentin Tarantino had seen war through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino.
Score = 34
This is a massive fail at trying to be clever.
Score = -22
Jeff, shouldn't you be playing Medal of Honor?
Score = 0
I've never seen what was so great about QT. Kill Bill was ridiculous and Pulp Fiction was over rated.
Score = -16
Gabe is one of my least unfavorite people in the whole wide internet.
Score = 2
Double negative hurt brain.
Score = 8
are you aware that sincerity on the internet is best tempered by grammatical irony?
Score = 2
That would be a fair argument, if it were true. Tarantino films never gross more than say, 60 million, he is purely a cult following and is only in the discourse of pop culture for the same reason Bruce Campbell and Kevin Smith are: personality. Consequently, the actual work is repetitively confused with the man, which makes up for the bulk of the arguments when discussing said films. Again, I'm not saying Tarantino is the greatest fucking filmmaker since Ingmar Bergman, but it would be nice to see a relevant argument that says something like, "His technique is a cheap pastiche of late 80s Scorsese and his inability to detach from the tenets of pop culture that so abundantly fill his mind serves more as a detriment". Which is something I do agree with, more or less. Motherfucker can write dialogue though. Jackie Brown remains one of my favorite crime/thrillers to this day.
Score = 8
WHAT? Worst dialogue writer ever. You have brain damage in the brain, which is almost the worst place to have brain damage.
Score = -9
What the fuck are you talking about? If you're going to posture as some fancypants esthete, at least make sense, man!
"It would be fair if it were true" is a tautology. And I have no idea what "argument" you're referencing in the first sentence. You assume there's causality between cultural/aesthetic relevance and financial success when historically this is not the case at all. You use Latinate words like "discourse" when simpler ones will do. You reference Tarantino's mastery of dialogue while subsequently lauding Jackie Brown in a premise-to-evidence logical progression while neglecting that the screenplay was based on a novel by Elmore Leonard, who's widely considered one of the greatest contemporary writers of dialogue. To top it all off, you claim that the "actual work is repetitively confused with the man" (btw, we can sense from the present tense that this process is habitual and therefore the adverb "repetitively" is totally unnecessary here) in a passive construction to inure yourself against actually providing evidence of this process. If you bothered to dig into the most basic critical discourse (there's that word again) on Tarantino you would find yourself promptly contradicted. But, the funniest thing is that your self-provided "relevant argument" on Tarantino does just what you claim to detest: by assuming that he is "unable to detach" himself from the cultural tenents "abundantly filling his mind," you veer into the territory of psychological evaluation of Tarantino's "personality" and away from the actual work itself.
Score = -3
I think it's fair to say that no one read this. You lost me at "tautology."
Score = 25
You know, instead of going out of your way to let me know that you didn't read my post, you could have spent that six seconds looking up the damn word and familiarizing yourself with a concept that could potentially be interesting. But, whatevs, Palin '12.
Score = -17
Hi J,
I skimmed your post.
Anyway, I'm mostly just enjoying all of these comments! These comments are bananas! Where am I?
Score = 12
I already knew what a tautological argument was, I just figured you were an asshole, so I didn't read it.
Score = 9
You, sir, are a hypocrite.
Score = 1
Personality DOES go a long way...
Score = -1
I know we all want to bash Brad Pitt's accent but, you guys, I dated a Marine who sounded exactly like that except without all the "scalp" talk. Also, I'll admit to loving gratuitous violence here and there but NOT when Eli Roth is involved (his imagination for new ways to torture should be reason enough for his extermination) and not when its based in history. I mean, what does Quentin Tarantino know about WWII? Whatever it is, I don't care.
Score = -6
"what does Quentin Tarantino know about WWII?"
This is exactly the point. Tarantino doesn't care about actual WWII history and doesn't know it. He knows MOVIES about WWII. Everything he does is aping some movie he's seen. He happens to have seen more movies that just about any person on Earth so he's been able to look original. But now people are catching up to him and can spot his thievery.
There's nothing new under the sun of course but he doesn't put anything of himself into the films. Just his love of genre movies. There's no there there for him. At least with Rodriiguez or Gondry or even Wes Anderson they bring something personal to their work. Tarantino just isn't that deep. He has no point of view, just a huge bank of samples to string together.
It doesn't stop me from enjoying his movies though. It's just that after Jackie Brown he's been on a downward trajectory for me. Maybe Basterds will be great who knows. But it looks like Dirty Dozen meets Milano Calibre 9 or something. 50/50 shot.
Score = 0
I stand by Quintin Tarantino. He's entertained me consistently and I enjoy his movies.
And for a site that constantly rips on things that they themselves could never make, you should learn to spell terrible.
Score = -9
I can't tell if this comment is brilliance or fail. It's just so... perfect. The perfect number of misspellings (ONE, in the first word) to balance the schoolmarmish pointing-out of the intentional misspelling in the headline? I'm going with brilliance. trolling=10/10.
(learn more about my worldview at blogcommentcriticism.blogspot.com)
Score = 11
A++
Score = 2
Wow man, really cant get the joke that the title of the fucking movie is misspelled, hence the "terrable"? The world must be a tough place for you.
Score = 1
I can't wait for opening night when my buddies and I show up to pick up our Fandango tickets in our scalped Nazi costumes.
Score = 6
What a surprise. Tarantino hasn't made a watchable movie since Jackie Brown. He's just one of those directors (of which there are many) that should get someone else to write his screenplays.
Score = -6
Leave us alone? I didn't realize we were all being _forced_ to watch the man's movies. I'm of two minds about this trailer:
One: Brad Pitt's acting is godawful.
And two: This movie looks like it could be a lot of fun in a "Marvel Comics presents World War II" kinda way. In fact, after all the self-serious WWII flicks, I wish it looked stupider.
And Gabe, if you thought this was a disgraceful use of WWII backdrop, then never ever see "Ilsa She Wolf of the SS," your wee sensibilities wouldn't be able to take it. Hell, if people are finding this offensive, then I'd hate to think how they feel about friggin' "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Score = 3
Totally. When I saw Saving Private Ryan, all I could think was "This needs more stupid."
Score = 7
There wasn't room for any more stupid in Saving Private Ryan.
Score = 0
If you were expecting this movie to be a rumination on the horrors of war, then that's your WHOOPS.
All I know is this:
Eli Roth acting > Eli Roth directing.
Score = 2
The speech part looks like crap, but its going to be a couple of minutes in the movie. It's going to be all about the action scenes and the gore, which we really don't see in the trailer. Not a great trailer by any stretch, but based on the premis of the film and QT's strengths, that majoity of this film shoudl be quality. Still... does make you wonder why its out in August when all of QT's movies come out in December.. hmmm
Score = 0
Not to be nitpicky, but I'm going to be nitpicky and call you out on the fact that youre way off base on when QT movies come out. Death Proof came out in April. Kill Bill 1 in October. Kill Bill 2 in April. Pulp Fiction in October. Reservoir Dogs in October. If we're going for writing credits- True Romance in September, Natural Born Killers in August, From Dusk Till Dawn in January. FINALLY Jackie Brown came out on Christmas Day. So 1 out of 9 aint bad. imdb's a bitch huh?
Score = 4
FLAME WAR! If only someone had sent Tom Cruise and 8 American soldiers back in time to exterminate this post.
Score = 7
The Metal soundtrack is SO INTENSE. SCALPS ARE FLYING!
Score = 3
Neil Schweiber!
Score = 5
i can only think of two words when i watched it: PEABO BRYSON. it must have been the lighting.
Score = 1
You know it'll fucking rock and even average Tarantino is miles better than anything Hollywood is putting out at the moment.
Score = -5
obviously average tarantino IS what hollywood is putting out at the moment
Score = 8
I had to go to IMDB to figure out the credits. Tarantino writes and directs, Eli Roth acts and serves as BFF. Sometimes it's hard to tell because Tarantino likes to slap his personal brand on a mess of things (his personal brand seems to be "Interests Decided at Age 13"). I think Tarantino's a fun director usually. I hate torture-romp films though, and I think it's particularly boring to throw in some sympathy-proof Nazis.
Score = 8
The only tragedy here is that from such an early preview somebody can declare that this movie is "TERRIBLE". Pleeeease give people a chance to make up their minds.
But i do have to say that when i first heard about this movie I thought that this would be the one to bring back Tarantino to previous glory. Looking back at his career now it seems as if Jackie Brown was the more serious film from his collection. I hoped that after grindhouse and Kill Bill the focus on "fun" would take a backseat.
I had heard about this movie before and now i'm not looking forward to it at all. I also think that this plan he's come up with of "let's surf through the genre's" its getting sooooo old unnecessary. Tarantino has certainly lost all of his vitality, i can see why so many haters have come up. I don't hate him, but I'm certainly not looking up to his movies as much as I was after Jackie Brown.
Score = -1
dang, eddie! gabe totes called it terrable, not terrible! had it been the latter, maybe he would have had been able to use his influence and that "i" into IMPRESSING OUR MINDS WITH TOTAL DESPISE of it and stolen our chance to use our free will to decide whether we will like it or not... but don't worry, buddy! he didn't! the tragedy has been control + alt + deleted!
Score = 0
Quentin Tarantino is stupid!
Score = 8
No way! Quentin Tarantino rocks! You're stupid!
Score = 8
You having an identity crisis? Who are you Joaquin Phoenix?
Score = -11
Tarantino is a loathsome, self aggrandizing ripoff artist turned up to douchemillion. If I see him "presenting" one more movie with his name larger than the director's, I am going to quit life. Can anyone with half an ear canal seriously congratulate him on writing sharp dialogue? Was your mind turned off when you watched Kill Bill? I know for a fact that he can't fall asleep at night until he's masturbated to a poster of himself. Thank you for comparing him to Girltalk. Mashing up nostalgic tropes inexpertly wears them out six times as fast. QT is one giant "sigh" and two eye rolls. Stop doing stuff.
Score = -2
The worst part is that last line. Bring ME scalps! It sounds like someone practicing inflection in a mirror as a parody of an actor
Score = 2
I'll be waiting for Tarantino to throw in a "Bad Mother Fokker" wallet joke.
Score = 0
YAY, JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS! Saw meets WWII!
Score = -2
Movie looks killer.
Score = -1
Is that pun intended?
Score = -2
actually, I think Robert Downey Jr. in blackface is exactly what this movie needs. it's kind of like what tropic thunder was parodying, no?
Score = -4
Nein! Nein nein nein nein nein nein!
Score = 2
Brad Pitt was doing an accent? I thought it was just a new spin on the "Simple Jack" school of acting. Yes, this looks shit.
Score = -3
I'm sure this film will be a favorite among "neo-cons."
"...ain't got no humanity..."
It all depends on whether Aldo Raine is finally heroic or villainous.
Score = 0
Considering Native Americans don't "become" jews, whatever that means, this whole scalping garbage is a little too much to swallow. I think Brangelina should be scalped and deported back to eurasia so the Americans can live in peace. This movie looks to be a nazi-sized BOMB!!
Score = -3
I thught it looked AWESOME. Looked Grindhouse-esque and had Samm Levine: Action Star.
Score = 0
The Basterds should be tried for war crimes in the sequel.
Score = 0
Regardless, I still want my scalps.
Score = 0
So BJ Novak is miscast, but he earns points for using Samm Levine?
Riiiiiiiiiight
Score = 0
By the way it's TERRIBLE, not TERRABLE
Score = -2
Crap - just realized the misspelling in the movie title
Score = 0
Errr... I know it's super-fun to mock the hell out of things before seeing them, but evidently some of our more angry writers here need to realize that this is Quentin Tarantino's REMAKE of an already-bad Italian film of the same name from 1978. The original film starred Bo Svenson, Peter Hooten, Fred Williamson, Michael Pergolani, and Jackie Basehart, and can be found on DVD under several different names including Hell's Heroes and Inglorious Bastards.
Because the original film itself was already a ripoff of The Dirty Dozen, I think it's perfect remake material for Tarantino: he can relax and do what he does best: shove every obscure WWII film clip he ever loved into this lumbering shell, shake in fun overwrought dialog and let it rip. Everyone here seems to mistake pastiche for ripoff, but it's not. Tarantino's sources are drawn too wide and he inserts too much of himself into his work (even if you hate his dialog, that's still HIM) for a charge of "ripoff" to stick... and a pastiche is just as legitimate as any other art form, and if you don't believe this to be true, then you must hate Blade Runner for being a pastiche of hard-boiled crime novels.
As for everyone complaining that Death Proof isn't any good, well, you're high. His goal wasn't to set out to make a great film, it was to make a great 70's era DRIVING film, and on those terms, it's a magnificent success. Those are the most exciting driving sequences filmed in years, and even if half of them are stolen from other films, not a single major Hollywood film in the last dozen years had physical driving sequences one third as good... everyone else is using shitty CGI to stand in for actual cars (Too Fast Too Furious, anyone? Transporter 2? All crap-looking CGI). Oh, and Kurt Russell was great fun as the sinister bad guy turned total pussy once he's shot. If you can't revel in Russel's performance, then maybe someone needs to buy you DVD copies of The Thing and Escape From New York and then force you to watch Miracle so you can remember how cool Russell used to be and how cool Tarantino let him be again.
Score = 3