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October 2, 2008

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Cyborg Soldier

This is a trailer for a movie called Cyborg Soldier.

This is the movie equivalent of that classic Onion op-ed "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades." It's that. But a movie. In this case, though, it's not fuck "everything," it's just fuck plot, production value, good acting, and any desire to see it. Otherwise it's BALLS OUT.

I am telling you this though: the United States Government suspended any and all supersoldier training and development programs about 10 years ago. Hollywood has successfully forced the military-industrial complex to recognize that it's simply TOO RISKY. They always go rogue. Always. It's going to take all your best men facing the toughest challenge of their careers to bring him in, and even that won't be enough. Don't you realize he just wants out? THIS IS NOT WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR.

Posted by Gabe at 4:00 PM in
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3 Comments

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen! I am so there. Sure they didn't invite her back to 90210, but that is their mistake.

Posted by: TigerMachine profile link at 10/02/08 5:38 PM | Reply
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MediaGay

I guess we know what Tiff meant when she said "I wish them all the luck, but I'm just so in a different place right now." That different place is making direct-to-DVD movies with UFC stars. Good one, Deputy Valerie!

I love that the cyborg's name is I.S.A.A.C. as if that stands for something. It just makes me automatically think of the late 70's classic C.H.O.M.P.S. Anyone else?

Posted by: MediaGay profile link in reply to TigerMachine's comment at 10/02/08 6:40 PM | Reply
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GrimEden

Umm ... wasn't this a Jean Claude Van Damme movie a decade ago?

Universal Solider 1, 2, and ... 3 is rumored for 2009!

Posted by: GrimEden profile link at 10/03/08 12:49 AM | Reply
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