Can Marlo Stanfield Save The Max Payne Movie?

It seems like Hollywood got the idea for the videogame-to-movie adaptation process from the old prank where you but a half gallon of milk behind your friend's radiator because you hate them. You take two perfectly decent things, milk and heat, wait forever, and the end result stinks. Oh man. My metaphors. I hope someone is writing these down. They're going to be collected in a book one day titled The Worst Metaphors: The Book. Oh man. My book titles. Max Payne trailer:

I know that Max Payne was supposed to be revolutionary in that it was one of the first heavily written videogames, but the writing still always seemed pretty cheesy to me, like someone had heard a hard-boiled detective story retold to them by a super stoned friend who was working at the gas station while he prepped for his GED and saved money for his Celtic arm-band tattoo (that one is definitely going in the book). I will admit, though, that the nightmare level where you're walking through the shadows of a blood-stained house while a baby cries incessantly was actually scary. And it's great (not that great, birdman25) that they stayed so true to the bathroom stall source material. But let's just be ourselves you guys. I love Mark Wahlberg, but if I wanted to watch a leather jacket commercial with a Puddle of Mudd soundtrack I'd join an advertising firm, work my way up, and be the creative director on the leather jacket account to make sure it was done right. That being said, this movie gets one more chance to prove itself to me on the strength of Jamie Hector. He doesn't seem to have a credit on IMDB, but that's him right? For your sake, Max Payne movie, that better be him.

Posted by Gabe at 12:45 PM in Trailer, Video Games
Tags: Jamie Hector | Mark Wahlberg | Marlo Stanfield | Max Payne

6 Comments

I believe Puddle of Mudd has 2 D's in the word 'Mudd,' in case you're interested in correctly (retardedly) spelling the name of a godawful band.

Posted by: indieguy322 at 07/10/08 12:49 PM | Reply
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Fixed, thanks.

Posted by: Gabe  in reply to indieguy322's comment at 07/10/08 1:07 PM | Reply
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Max Payne was a horror game?

Mila Kunis is worth watching no matter how crappy the movie.

Posted by: Matthew at 07/10/08 1:18 PM | Reply
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um... did i miss the part in max payne where a gigantic winged man pulls someone out of a building?

Posted by: MuffinsQ at 07/10/08 5:26 PM | Reply
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marlo, or anyone from the wire, should never be allowed to be in any other thing except the wire. it should be a rule, and they should all follow it. i don't want to see c. daniels on some fox show, or, gawd, micheal on 90210. let's not even talk about the office. this needs to stop.

Posted by: athieno at 07/11/08 10:30 PM | Reply
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i smell a hater !!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see Jamie hector play in max payne he is the only reason why i would go see the movie <<

Posted by: tony  in reply to athieno's comment at 07/16/08 12:27 AM | Reply
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