Angelina Jolie Stars In The Ultraviolet Patriot Fugitive Identity Games
Salt trailer, you guys:
This movie looks great, because it looks just like a lot of other movies that were already great. Liev Schreiber is going to isolate the background noise from the voice recording and discover that Angelina Jolie is standing near an above ground train. "WHAT CITY HAS AN ABOVE-GROUND TRAIN?!" That is what Liev Schreiber is going to yell. "GET ME THE ONE-ARMED SALT BOURNE!" Because we are all just batteries for the robots, and whoa, Angelina Jolie knows Kung Fu.
Posted by Gabe at 3:53 PM in Trailer
Tags: Angelina Jolie | Liev Schreiber | Salt | Spy Vs. Spy
So because she has nothing to hide and isn't a spy she takes off? makes as much sense as that smartest house guy.
Score = 13
she sure has nice bone structure, though
Score = 11
What the fuck happened to Matt Damon's face and chest?
Score = 7
Angelina Jolie will As-SALT your senses next summer.
Wait, are we not doing bad taglines anymore?
Score = 19
Say what you will but, I smell a Best Supporting Actor nod for Liev Schreiber's jowels. Look at those things. They're magnificent!
Score = 5
he's going to have the most gloriously saggy face in like 20 years. i just want him to hurry up and be an old balls already!
Score = 5
And Robert Redford is all, "it sounded like...a cocktail party." Then Matthew McConaughey says, "I want you to picture that little girl. Now, imagine she's Salty."
Score = 7
I just love these fresh, new ideas from Hollywood!
Score = 6
If Angelina Jolie's lips are full and valuptuous in the fall, there will be twelve weeks of winter after the December solstice. If they are sensual and a bit pouty, nay but eight more weeks of winter after the December solstice.
Score = 15
I'll wait for the sequel, Pepper.
Score = 17
And then inevitably, they'll round out the trilogy with Spinderella.
Score = 18
I was going to complain that I didn't like Angelina as a blond, but then she dyed her hair halfway thru the trailer so it was cool.
I liked her half-assed Matrix running-up-the-wall-before-you-kick-a-guy stunt near the end.
Score = 8
Yes. Can we get some wirework in here to help Ms. Jolie up the wall please?
Score = 6
I remember when they first did this movie. It was called "Every Near-Future Action-Thriller Ever Made."
Score = 10
Angelina Ford "I didn't kill my President!"
Liev Schreiber Jones "I Don't Care!"
Score = 13
The Sodium Chloride Candidate
The Treacherous Case of The Morton Salt Girl
Score = 8
The Iodized Kiss Goodnight
Score = 3
That trailer just made me miss Alias. The first 2 seasons, specifically. Before it sucked.
Score = 3
Hellllllllllllllooooooooooo Eagle Eye.
Score = 1
SPOILER ALERT: That Russian guy only has one arm... draw your own conclusions.
Score = 2
why does her hair look like a wig in every scene?
Score = 7
because it is a wig in every scene. she's very committed to her acting process so she doesn't even use her own hair, just Character Hair. METHOD.
Score = 0
Salt: Get Ready For The Sodium Chlo-Ride Of Your Life
Score = 12
that is not how you dye your hair. i'm sure that as a spy-on-the-run she's trying to be quick and all, but if you just start mashing in hair dye like that you're going to get it all over your face. and the coverage? it's going to be way uneven. no one cares, i know. i care. maybe that's how they find her after the dye-job. "we know it's you! that coverage is so streaky!"
Score = 15
Also, isn't it weird that she chose to dye her hair? If she's on the run, it seems like a waste of time to change her hair colour. Just wear a hat or something.
Annnnd, since when do they have "walk-ins" in the FBI? They just let anyone come in if they have a story to tell?
Score = 1
She should have asked Jason Bourne for a cut and color. He does a fabulous job with only some safety scissors and a dingy motel sink.
Score = 5
You forgot to add : Impossible to the end of that title.
Score = 0
Has someone made a joke about "ultraviolet" v. "ultraviolent" yet?
Score = 0
"The following preview has been approved for appropriate audiences." Way to earn that paycheck, MPAA!
Score = 3
At the one-minute mark I was convinced that Charlie Kaufman's brother from Adaptation was writing movies again.
Score = 3
I like how her transformation from normal American woman to Russian super-spy occurs when she dies her hair (badly). I smell a screenwriting Oscar.
Score = 0
Attention Evelyn Salt: Your name is burnt in the industry!
Score = 0