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January 7, 2009

An Unnecessarily Long And Self-Involved Anecdote To Explain Why Broken Lizard's The Slammin' Salmon Looks Hilarious

thumbnail icon: An Unnecessarily Long And Self-Involved Anecdote To Explain Why Broken Lizard's The Slammin' Salmon Looks Hilarious

Before I got this corner office on the top floor of Blogs HQ, I used to work in a cubicle in a horrible industrial park office like from The Office or maybe Office Space. To give you a sense of how bad it was, the building had no windows except for in the miserable cafeteria, and even those windows were so heavily tinted (why? I'm asking, why were those windows tinted?) that sunlight did not come through. Our office shared the industrial park with a run-down whirlyball court, but eventually that closed.

Anyway, in an effort to drum up some collegial enthusiasm and workplace morale, one Halloween they held special Halloween-themed activities in that same decrepit, miserly, lightless cafeteria I have just described. There was a pumpkin carving contest and also a costume contest. Is there anything sadder than people walking a solemn circuit through a worn-carpeted office cafeteria in their elaborate Halloween costume to drum up some support on the applause-o-meter in order to win that gift certificate to the California Pizza Kitchen?

Yes, one thing is sadder than that.

But the highlight of the entire event, for me, were the two MC's for the event, who were just two dudes from Payroll, or wherever (Accounts Receivable?), who had clearly gone on-line and printed out a bunch of Halloween knock knock jokes, and "a vampire gets stuck on a desert island with a ghost" jokes, and read them stiffly to an audience comprised entirely of uninvested people just trying to avoid doing actual work.

Stay with me, here.

You have to picture this depressing room of collapsible lunch tables, overcrowded like standing room only crowded with industrial park office workers desperate for any reason to get away from their dull jobs, listening to canned jokes from two dudes who peaked in high school as a "warm up" to the suicide inducing costume contest. You have to picture this.

So they would read their jokes, and as you may know this style of joke is generally call and response, as in:

"What did the werewolf say to the mummy when he got his paw caught in the cookie jar?"

And from the dead silence of that nightmare cafeteria, after every single joke's introduction, you would have heard me shout:

"WHAT?" Or, "WHO?"

Much to my tablemate's embarrassment. And then, from the dead silence of that nightmare cafeteria after the punchline was revealed you would hear me, alone, laughing at the top of my lungs.

The point of this anecdote was just to give you a sense of where I'm coming from as a way to understand my excitement about a new Broken Lizard movie. Because no one does bra-strap slapping dumb dumb humor quite as well as these guys.

The Slammin' Salmon trailer, you guys:

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Posted by Gabe at 12:00 PM in
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12 Comments

iamsosorry

I just really wanna hear those knock-knock jokes now.

Posted by: iamsosorry profile link at 01/07/09 12:21 PM | Reply
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Overeducated people doing menial labor go a teensy tinsy bit hysterical, or at least I do/did. Especially waiting tables. Especially at a fancy restaurant. I've done my time in the trenches, and saw that suddenly my brother and I were keeled over hysterically at "Waiting" b/c it's the only way to deal with the sea of skanky sadness behind those doors.I believe this is the "whistling in the dark" comedy-nerd theory of humor.

Posted by: B at 01/07/09 12:32 PM | Reply
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Nice 'dote, Gabe. Laughing uproariously at anesthetizing attempts at humor to dispel awkwardness, or reach a higher plane of awkwardness, is an art and a mission. And this movie looks AMAZING!!!

Posted by: RobinRubbermaid at 01/07/09 12:42 PM | Reply
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WHO? WHAT? That movie looks awful.

Posted by: AnthonyPatch at 01/07/09 1:04 PM | Reply
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Dolf

Thank you, Gabe for continuing to be the voice of the everyman. I know that situation all too well, can I have my blog now?

Also, Cobie Smulders!

Posted by: Dolf profile link at 01/07/09 2:26 PM | Reply
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i can't really tell if you're being serious because i'm a bit slow (very slow) - but i really like these guys and super troopers is pretty lol funny so i am looking forward to this

Posted by: nicole profile link at 01/07/09 2:36 PM | Reply
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Gabe

I like Broken Lizard.

Does that help?

Posted by: Gabe profile link in reply to nicole's comment at 01/07/09 2:38 PM | Reply
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Garmanbozia

No it does not.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link in reply to Gabe's comment at 01/08/09 1:55 AM | Reply
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sarcasticmeow

This movie looks like it's going to be on the same level of funny, that Knocked Up was.

Posted by: sarcasticmeow profile link at 01/07/09 2:45 PM | Reply
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this movie looks good.

Posted by: joe at 01/07/09 3:08 PM | Reply
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i'm totally with you Gabe. broken lizard ftw.

Posted by: HB at 01/07/09 7:12 PM | Reply
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Garmanbozia

Broken Lizard deserves a "broken rib sandwich" as advertised in this trailer. "Sooper Troopers" - okay, "Club Dread" - awful balls, "Beer Fest" - unspeakable.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link at 01/08/09 1:59 AM | Reply
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