November 20, 2009

Robert Pattinson, Human Being • In his upcoming movie, Remember Me, Robert Pattinson plays a non-vampire. Weird. You can watch the trailer here, if you want. Personally, I don't want to ruin my Robert PAPPETITE (nice try, me) for tonight's screening of TWOMG NEW AHHHHHH@!

Comments (8) latest by meaverly

November 18, 2009

I'm Not Sure What Is Happening In This Movie, But I Can't Wait To Find Out!

Wapakman trailer, you guys:

If "I want to go to there" didn't feel like such a tired reference, I'd probably use it. I...SEE..YOUR...MILKSHAKE...ON DVD. (Thanks for the tip, Andrew and Richard.)

Posted by Gabe at 1:45 PM in Trailer
Tags: Wapakman | WTF?

Comments (36) latest by magsweeto

November 17, 2009

It's Life, Jump Into Life: Crazy Heart

Crazy Heart trailer, you guys:

Ah, OK, I get it. This is Jeff Bridges's The Guitar Playing Wrestler. That is what this is. And this is only the beginning, I bet. So many The Wrestlers on their way, probably. The Pool Shark Wrestler, The Former Poet Laureate Wrestler, The Overweight Sandwich Chain Spokesperson Wrestler. But that is all in the future. Right now it is just Jeff Bridges, and his race for the Oscar for Most Mumbliest Marble Mouth. Acting!

Posted by Gabe at 1:45 PM in Trailer
Tags: Crazy Heart | Jeff Bridges | Maggie Gyllenhaal | Robert Duvall | The Wrestler

Comments (27) latest by flamy

November 16, 2009

I Don't Kow Which Of These Two Terrible Trailers Is Worse!

There are two new movie trailers that have popped up over the past couple of weeks and I'm having a really hard time deciding which of them is worse. On the one hand, you have the trailer for Grown Ups, which is basically Old Dogs 2: Dry Cold American Summer. Isn't it great watching Rob Schneider, David Spade, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and Kevin James (wait, where did he come from?) back together on the same screen now that they are all millionaires? Neatttttt! Look out for that tree, you lazy millionaire! But then on the other hand, there is the trailer for Jackie Chan's The Spy Next Door, which is basically The Tuxedo meets Mrs. Doubtfire? Can two terrible movies make the worst movie? Apparently!

Both trailers after the jump. Bet you can't pick just one! To be the worst of the two! Because of how bad both of them are! It is our generation's Sophie's Choice!

Continue reading I Don't Kow Which Of These Two Terrible Trailers Is Worse!...

Comments (45) latest by echolocated

November 11, 2009

Date Night Of A Thousand Stars

What is this, new movie trailer day? (It is basically new movie trailer day.) Date Night trailer, you guys:

Sure. I mean, whatever. It's basically our generation's True Lies but with fewer hermaphrodites.

But have you seen the cast for this thing? The full cast? Tina Fey and Steve Carrell, sure. Common, yes, we know. Mark Wahlberg! James Franco! Of course! Even Mila Kunis is in this movie! Mila Kunis! But did you know this movie also has Leighton Meester, Mark Ruffalo, Kristen Wiig, Taraji P. Henson, Olivia Munn, Nick Kroll, and Samantha Bee?

"Could there be any more stars in this movie?"
--Bandler Ching

That's-a-lotta-stars! (Italian caricature who owns a restaurant that only sells stars. HUH?)

Comments (52) latest by Zzyzx

Best New Party Game 12

Today's Best New Party Game is inspired by the Clash of the Titans teaser trailer, which reader Samir points out has a very clever tag-line!

Really? REALLY? The tag-line for Clash of the Titans is "Titans Will Clash!"?!

A++, Hollywood. Extra credit! "Show your work!"

When I was in junior high school, in the mid-1920s, my "language arts" teacher told us to make "reading" posters that promoted reading, which would then hang in the hallway. Everyone worked all week on these things, and on Friday we had to present them to the rest of the class. Good assignment! One kid, named Edward, who looked like a scarecrow and whose dad legendarily asked the teacher if he could read computer programming manuals for his book reviews, walked up to the front of the class with a folded piece of red construction paper, which he dramatically unfolded, and in giant, thin letters, written in pencil, the paper just said "READ." That is what this tag-line reminds me of, except that Edward's poster was very funny (let's just say that it was as funny as the teacher was mad) while this tag-line is just very lazy.

Anyway, you know how this goes:

Continue reading Best New Party Game 12...

Posted by Gabe at 2:00 PM in Best New Party Game, Trailer
Tags: Clash Of The Titans | Gemma Arterton | Lazy | Sam Worthington

Comments (329) latest by RoyalSwine

Kick-Ass Looks Kick-Pretty Good!

Kick-Ass teaser trailer, you guys:

Look, nerds, I'm sorry. Everyone pretty much hates you guys. There has certainly been a wave of pro-nerd sentiment over the past few years, but the world stands pretty much unchanged. It's going to be jocks vs. nerds until the end of time (2012). "But we've got Bill Gates, the richest man in the world." Sure. Is Bill Gates going to charge his foundation with the task of inventing a noogie deflection shield to protect all of you? No. Bill Gates is just one man, and even he is probably still constantly mocked for being such a huge nerd by his wife, and his dogs, and his solid-gold helicopter. The reality is that no matter how much Hollywood's Jews (nerds) write scripts in which the Seth Cohens and the Dan Humphreys and the Brian Johnsons of the world become the sexually-desirable heroes, back in the real world, people want to shove nerds into lockers. Always. If anything, pro-nerd movies and TV shows are like nerd kryptonite, because it gives the nerds too much confidence and they let their nerd guard down. Keep those nerd hands up! Protect the meat!

Anyway, this movie looks pretty good.

Comments (45) latest by caringiscool

November 10, 2009

Videogum's Teen Korner: K-Stew In A Movie About Divorced Vampires

Popples!

Listen up dudes who recognize that a strong academic background is just as important as having a girlfriend, and girls who recognize that you have to like yourself before you can get someone else to like you, I know that you want to live your life spontaneously. Your parents (yuck!) and teachers (boo!) are always trying to get you to think about college, to take up hobbies that might lead to a career, to get serious about your future, when all you want to do is have some fun for once in your stupid life! And that's fresh! Mountain Dew Code Black! In some ways when you tell your parents (ew!) and your teachers (double boo!) that they're just jealous because they are old dried up corpses waiting to die, you're kind of right. Everyone enjoys the young people's ability to live a life unfettered by responsibility or even a serious grasp of the relationship between actions and consequences. TurboGrafx 16!

But your parents (barf!) and your teachers (triple boo!) have a point, too. NOW HEAR ME OUT. It's great to get into your dad's modest, sensible Toyota and just drive all night with the windows rolled down listening to Cobra Spaceship, but you've got to put some thought into your future. Just make a list of some goals, and whenever you achieve a goal, cross it out. And that's cool ranch!

Take for example Kristen Stewart? From Twilight? Hello? McFly! Did she just sit around eating Twizzlers and crimping her hair, wondering when she would get to be in another movie about teenage vampires and also werewolves? No! She went out there and she got herself a new movie about adult divorced vampires, paving the way for a life after Twilight (I know that right now it feels like there is no such thing as life after Twilight, but one day you will look back on all this and you will laugh and laugh). It is called The Yellow Handkerchief, and it looks...well it has Kristen Stewart in it!

Continue reading Videogum's Teen Korner: K-Stew In A Movie About Divorced Vampires...

Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Teen Korner, Trailer
Tags: Divorce | Kristen Stewart | The Yellow Handkerchief | Vampires | William Hurt