OK, sure, maybe those 49 second pizzas aren't really going to taste very good. And OK, maybe the world's fastest gun reloader is terrifying even without such a terrifying skill, but with such a terrifying skill he is terrifying to the log 10 power of yikes.And OK, maybe some of this stuff just really doesn't matter, and the amount of time that it takes you to master getting out of your clothes in seven seconds could probably have been spent doing something else. But, like, what? Reading a book? YOU CAN'T TAKE READING WITH YOU WHEN YOU DIE! Although the cup-stacking thing seriously just gives me a heart-attack. Like, sweat prickles on my neck anytime I see that. I don't know why it makes me so nervous. And we can argue all day about the potential merits or un-merits of speed undressing, but cup-stacking is some Executive Level Elite Class Time Wasting. But you know what? We all have to make it through the day. Whatever it takes!
And these guys all do that stuff faster than anyone. And that's something. So quick round of applause for these guys. And then they all have to get back to their just-as-lonely-as-you-might-expect-homes to practice. (Via TheDailyWhat.)
Nailed it. Gordon Ramsay swears at people all the time! Some might tell you that making children curse for comedic effect is one of the cheapest ways to get a laugh based on the cynical exploitation of their natural desire to please and be loved. But those people are fucking wankers. Did I say that right? Wankers? Innit? In any case, this kid is great, but the best part of this video is Lil' Gordon Ramsay's personalized ladybug Tupperware. Hell's Juicebox.
Every once in awhile, you just need to be reminded that Roger Ebert is the best. He's smart and funny and earnest and doesn't give an FFFFFF. He wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls for his friend Russ Meyer. Russ Meyer! He's bananas. They both are, but Roger Ebert is more bananas because Roger Ebert is mainstream bananas. And he's been reminding us how great he is all over the place this week. First there is this great excerpt (via Alex Balk) from an altogether great essay from his blog yesterday:
Let me give another example of credulity. The following paragraph appeared this week in a New York Post review by Adam Buckman of the season premiere of "Heroes."
This show, which was once so thrilling and fun, has become full of itself, its characters spouting crazy nonsense. Here's one I wish someone would translate for me: "There's a divinity that shapes our ends--rough hew them how we will," spouts the enigmatic industrialist Linderman played by Malcolm McDowell, who should win an Emmy for keeping a straight face while reciting these lines.
Perhaps McDowell kept a straight face because he knew he was quoting one of the most famous speeches in Hamlet. I don't expect everyone to have read Hamlet, but I would hope a New York critic might have run across it once or twice. Still, we all have our blind spots. After I once quoted Dr. Johnson, I had an editor who asked me who the doctor was, and whether he practiced at a Chicago hospital. So let's assume Buckman knew Hamlet by heart, but had forgotten that one sentence.
Boom goes the dynamite. Now that is how you make a comedy trailer. Finally, Waiting for Guffman, Dead Poets Society, Kentucky Fried Movie, and Head of the Class in one movie. Also, did I mention Amy Poehler? She's the Onion News Network of actors.
Let's see this movie, you guys. It looks funny enough that I'm even willing to overlook how Steve Coogan gave Owen Wilson all that heroin. (But please, Steve Coogan, stop giving everyone heroin.)
Man, Slashfilm has been CRUSHING IT on great Lost videos this week. They were the ones who first introduced us to the "What?" video, and now today they've got another great one in which the show has been re-imagineered as a more straight-forward MacGruber-style adventure.
Make all the fun you want, I promise you if this is how the show started each week we wouldn't still be here scratching our butts over the smoke monster. Shows like this git er done.
Saturday Night Live kind of nailed it this weekend, you guys. Even Christopher Walken's opening monologue was funny (the opening monologue!). Because NBC will supposedly sue us for helping to promote their show using embedded video clips, I can't show you what happened. Sorry, maybe you shouldn't have been out socializing with your friend and having a life Saturday and maybe you'd know what I was talking about. In any case, the whole episode was really weird with lots of unusual premises and also funny sometimes! Success!
The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and didn't even bother scanning anything with...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily have a...
Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
I went to see Where the Wild Things Are on Saturday, but it was sold out. Ay-ay-ay. That was a surprise! I mean, anticipation for this movie seemed pretty high, but anticipation for lots of movies seems high, especially when...
