How To Keep Your Little Girl From Being A "Sexy Bumblebee" For Halloween
Okay, not to be all Andy Rooney, but when I was a kid we weren't even allowed to celebrate Halloween, we had a "fall festival" where we dressed up as Bible characters and sang "El Shaddai" and ate S'mores while the unanswered doorbell tolled incessantly as a constant reminder of our exclusion from every kid's favorite holiday. But that story isn't even messed up anymore, now that the phenomenon of little girls wanting to dress like sluts for Halloween is apparently such a huge deal that they had to have an entire segment on CBS This Morning about how to force your daughter to keep her goddamn clothes on until she's old enough to be a real stripper, which, if you need this advice, she will be:
Is that really happening? This segment, if it's as necessary as they make it seem, is the most powerful argument for home schooling ever to exist. Child beauty pageant culture is influencing normal people culture? Haven't these people seen Little Miss Sunshine? And which was creepier, the poorly-constructed mannequin bodies or the pixelated-faced sexy costume child models?
Posted by Lindsay at 5:45 PM in The Apocalypse, The News
Tags: Halloween
"you'll get to be the sexy bumblebee, just not this year"
i think THAT is the creepiest part.
Score = 4
What the fuck? This has to be a joke, right? If a kid comes to my door and is wearing anything close to those costumes, Ill give them a sweater. No candy, just sweater.
Score = 5
i suggest you have child protective services programed into your phone, as well.
Score = 2
Truth.
Score = 3
Why use Lindsay Lohan as an example? She's pulled her life together....use Miley Cyrus the tart.
Score = 2
I love the part where the doctor lady (Doctor lady?) says "A La Lindsay Lohan..." Ha ha, poor Lohan, you don't wear panties a couple hundred times and you're used as a reason someone's daughter wants to be a sexy Bumblebee... :(
Score = 0
ugh wow. i didn't know these costumes fit people under the age of 18 with no boobs. this is so disturbing.
Score = 0
When I was a kid, I also had to go to the church functions on Halloween... they were called "Hallejulah Parties." Actually, they were fun. There was always like a foot of snow by Halloween, so trick or treating would have been a drag... and no one ever dressed me as a sexy bumblebee. Just a random Apostle.
Score = 1
"Now sweetie, WHY do you want to be Lindsey Lohan for Halloween?"
"Because she's a slut and she's got big boobs and I don't want to wear panties in my limo!!"
"Well, she's also dating a woman. Would you like to be a lesbian for Halloween?"
"...OK."
"Alright then! Here's your muff diver scuba suit and a mullet wig. Have fun!"
Parenting F.T.W.!!!
Score = 2
To be fair, those girls they showed were trying on adult costumes from Leg Avenue. So, it's the parents' fault, for shopping in the whore store.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUTLBXh72cg
Argh. As someone who works in the costume industry, the increasing trend towards "sexy" Halloween costumes is just damn pathetic.
http://www.halloween31.com/pages-productinfo-category-6_295-product-3394/adult-costumes-new-sexy-costumes-for-2008-rubies-ms-krueger-sexy-freddy-adult-costume-sexy-freddy-krueger.html
Why bother wearing clothes, period?
Sexy Krispy Kreme, sexy martini - we even had a "sexy drug dealer" outfit, came with a mirror, razorblade necklace...it's fucking...fuck. We're all just fucked.
Score = 3
the first halloween costume that i remember was a playboy bunny.
there has never been a time in my life when i did not own a pair of fishnets with seams up the back.
when i was little, i said i wanted to be the president, but really i wanted to be a groupie so i could have sex with rock stars.
real talk, people.
and i'm fine.
no stds, normally married (no polyamory or something), no unwanted pregnancies, no date rape.
most of those little hookers are screwed, but some will end up fine.
Score = 0
this society doesn't realize that kids are humans too. they will have desires that parents feel the need to control. just as governments control parents. It's all a slave relationship. This society acts like 11 year old girls weren't being married allt-throughout history in many cultures. Those outfits are not even sexy. These parents seem to get sex in their mind regarding their child.. a little too much. Overprotective leads to their own strange source of child sex obsession.
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