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June 23, 2009

Fox And Friends Pays Children To Fight On TV

thumbnail icon: Fox And Friends Pays Children To Fight On TV

Fox And Friends were so out of ideas yesterday that they invited three children -- two eleven year olds with college degrees and a home-schooled fourteen year old with loud opinions -- to argue about such topics as school choice on their show. The two prodigies were polite and mature in offering their solutions, but the other kid waved his arms wildly, spouted hackneyed right-wing talking points, and even called Obama "Barack HUSSEIN Obama." If the point was to show that children (or a child) can be as big of an ass on Fox News as the adults, well, that worked. I have the urge to slap this child, therefore Fox News is where he belongs.

It's like something out of the Daily Sh--- oh, wait, it WAS on The Daily Show. As a joke! Great Moments In Punditry, As Read By Children:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Great Moments in Punditry - Catholics Run Hollywood
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorJason Jones in Iran

Fox And Friends imitates The Daily Show, five years late and not as a joke. That sounds about right. (Thanks for the tip, Alex!)

Posted by Lindsay at 10:00 AM in ,
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60 Comments

None of these kids can vote, drive a car, drink or go in the army so they should all shut the fuck up.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link at 06/23/09 10:16 AM  | Reply
Score = 33 Vote up Vote down

That is not how freedom of speech works

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood's comment at 06/23/09 10:29 AM  | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down

When they can fight for freedom of speech they can be as belligerent and obnoxious as they please (and be pundits on FOX News, because both of those things go hand in hand). Until then, go play some Xbox 360 or something.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 06/23/09 10:43 AM  | Reply
Score = -10 Vote up Vote down

Clicking on your name led me to your Twitter page, in which I used a calculator to determine that you are 19 years old.

By my estimation, you are legally able to vote, join the army and drive, but are not legally allowed to drink.

So, based on your logic, I have the following question for you:

What level are you on in Halo 3?

Posted by: the dude profile link  in reply to  Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood's comment at 06/23/09 11:03 AM  | Reply
Score = 103 Vote up Vote down

You got me. All the Internets to you sir, and I have a Wii.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  the dude's comment at 06/23/09 11:08 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

"strangers' musical tastes"

possessive plural.

Posted by: sabrina spellman  in reply to  Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood's comment at 06/23/09 6:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

You think Josh is the government?

Posted by: correction  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 06/23/09 11:11 AM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Carrie,
You are either the ugliest girl I have ever seen or you have the sissiest name for a guy since the one named Sue.

Posted by: paul  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 07/17/09 12:53 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

The little girl reminds me of Phoebe from Hey Arnold, which is so great.

Are that guy's condescending snickers the worst part? Other than that kid who is a poster child for home-schooled kids with no social skills, I mean. That one's obvious.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 06/23/09 10:23 AM  | Reply
Score = 36 Vote up Vote down

Wow. Steve Doocy got out-douchebagged by that Krohn kid the conservatives like to trot out. And it's sad that that conservative kid learned his social skills from watching Fox News. Man, tv is such a scourge.

Posted by: booferama profile link at 06/23/09 10:26 AM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

Seriously, even the Dooce was embarrassed by the kid sighing and growling and flinging himself all over the studio in disgust. You know the kid's parents are proud today, right? Meanwhile, can I please have a polite Asian child of my own please?

Posted by: rebecca  in reply to  booferama's comment at 06/23/09 11:54 AM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

have we ever seen the kid with the tie and sexman in the same room??? just sayin'.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 06/23/09 10:28 AM  | Reply
Score = 27 Vote up Vote down

my thoughts exactly. they are voice twins! i wonder how he feels about jumper?

Posted by: amy  in reply to  Becca's comment at 06/23/09 2:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

An 11-year-old advocating for more school? That girl needs to thank her stars it's summer vacation and better hope her peers have the memory of a goldfish. Otherwise she's going to be on everybody's shit list come this fall.
Then again, I bet she already is.

Posted by: benjamin profile link at 06/23/09 10:29 AM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

Congrats, kid. You're an even bigger asshole than normal Fox pundits. Wave your arms a little more next time so we know for sure how you feel.

Posted by: korndiddy profile link at 06/23/09 10:35 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Don't be fooled, guys. It's just Rachel Dratch trotting out her Sheldon character from SNL. Nice to see you again, Rach!

Posted by: Shane2012 at 06/23/09 10:37 AM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

jonathan, unlike ricky bobby, knows what to do with his hands in an interview

Posted by: j0shsm1th profile link at 06/23/09 10:42 AM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

The one kid is like a little, unfunny, horribly conservative Lewis Black

Posted by: Deerlike at 06/23/09 10:50 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Note the Doocy-gasm @ 1:45.

Someone should really see if Murdock made any IVF investments circa 1994...

Posted by: theillegiblebastard profile link at 06/23/09 10:51 AM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Ahh, Good Ol' Fox News. Giving bags of douche a place to yell since 1997.

Posted by: ArchieBunkerIII profile link at 06/23/09 10:53 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This goes against every way I ever felt as a kid, especially during summer, and for that, I am offended.

Posted by: HowManyWhales profile link at 06/23/09 10:54 AM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Also: "we talk to adults all the time on this show." Since when?

Posted by: booferama profile link at 06/23/09 10:56 AM  | Reply
Score = 32 Vote up Vote down

Congrats, kid. You ARE the biggest asshole.

Posted by: korndiddy profile link at 06/23/09 10:57 AM  | Reply
Score = -4 Vote up Vote down

Congrats, kid. You ARE the biggest asshole.

Posted by: korndiddy profile link at 06/23/09 10:57 AM  | Reply
Score = -12 Vote up Vote down

Homeschool is nothing compared to public or private school. You aren't constantly learning for 7 hours nonstop. He has no idea what he's talking about when he wants more school.

Posted by: Chris at 06/23/09 10:59 AM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Jonathan Krohn is a regular on the conservative circuit. Watch your back, Hannity. The facial expressions alone best Hannity on the douche-y scale. "SIR" for the girl?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vz1TVpwme0

Posted by: Trevor at 06/23/09 11:00 AM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

"George Bush did not quadruple the national debt SIR". This kid is never going to get laid (in a couple years when that might seem appropriate). 1 for being a douche and 2 for calling girls SIR.

Posted by: TheCharlie at 06/23/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down

Posted by: Manvnature profile link  in reply to  TheCharlie's comment at 06/24/09 7:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

"George Bush did not quadruple the national debt SIR". This kid is never going to get laid (in a couple years when that might seem appropriate). 1 for being a douche and 2 for calling girls SIR.

Posted by: TheCharlie at 06/23/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
Score = -9 Vote up Vote down

Jonathan spoke at the CPAC this year and the conservatives completely flipped out over his three-minute speech.

I've met homeschooled kids and they all lack basic social skills like this poor guy.

Posted by: laura at 06/23/09 11:28 AM  | Reply
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I actually had some homeschooled neighbors who were truly lovely, kind, thoughtful, and intelligent kids. Okay, so they didn't believe in evolution, but when I went away for the weekend and paid them $5 to feed my dog, they also walked her, brushed her, and picked up her poo.

Also, one of 'em would have been 18 soon enough, and thinking about taking him to the dark side brought joy and light to my evil old days.

Posted by: rebecca  in reply to  laura's comment at 06/23/09 11:58 AM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

douchebag mcgee is correct. george w. bush did not quadruple the national debt. he CREATED it.

Posted by: chris at 06/23/09 11:40 AM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

I see a lot of naked tits in Jonathan Krohn's future... That kid is probably going to get laid even more than David Frum did at Canada High School.

Posted by: Echos Myron at 06/23/09 11:42 AM  | Reply
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If these kids are so smart then why would they agree to be on this show? FAKE

Posted by: AndHobo at 06/23/09 11:49 AM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

one night when I was drunk I watched Jonathan Krohn's speech from CPAC on Huffpo, discovered he had a book, and laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I ordered it online.
seriously.

Posted by: todd gack profile link at 06/23/09 11:53 AM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I want to punch that 14 year old in the face.

Posted by: wildcard profile link at 06/23/09 11:57 AM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

i was going to say that, qualifying it with the fact that my brother is his age (which makes it totally legit!) - but it seems so wrong to hit a kid - even THIS hellion monster child.

Posted by: Becca profile link  in reply to  wildcard's comment at 06/23/09 1:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

"You know we talk to grown-ups all the time on this show"

No you don't.

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link at 06/23/09 11:59 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

That 14 y.o. isn't a bad pundit, which isn't too hard to believe seeing as how he got all that experience doing talk radio as "The Beekeeper" at Camp Firewood.

"Arty, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to take a shower today."

Posted by: Kenugent profile link at 06/23/09 12:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

I enjoy how the loud kid snorts at 1:38.
Also, I enjoy how the 45 year old kid claps with each name or point as he's introducing the little kids.

Posted by: PaulD profile link at 06/23/09 12:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

When I was 14 I was a real left-winger political junkie douche bag. I can't fault Krohn for being overzealous; when you're that young and engaged in politics -- and bright -- you really do think you know it all. I hope he grows out of it for his sake.

What bothers me... I don't think he was mimicking adult pundits so much as I think adult pundits behave like teenagers. Scary, guys.

Posted by: arthur great profile link at 06/23/09 12:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

I agree, I used to be aggressively conservative around that age and things are very very different now...it's just that he's going to be pretty embarrassed once he starts to develop his own principled ideas that are so different from these ones about five years from now. I'm glad the world didn't decide when I was 13 that I was always going to stand up for the things I would have stood up for then. (Daniel Radcliffe for President!!! Oh wait I still want that to happen.)

General comment: I think Hodgman's brilliant observation that bloggers are nerds and pundits are jocks totally holds here. The 11-year-olds were clearly uncomfortable being on camera and from what I understand are likely used to more academic settings...they could probably slaughter that homeschool kid if it were a clashing of editorials or something. I hated how the host insinuated it was an unfair argument because that kid is 3 years older...those other kids are clearly more informed and poised to make critical arguments than he is, oh and they have GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. Where has that kid graduated from? The rumpus room in his mom's house?

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  arthur great's comment at 06/23/09 2:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

I was a raging lib when I was 15, but I couldn't spit out the cliches as fast and furious as this kid.

Posted by: booferama profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 06/23/09 8:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I actually feel sorry for Doocy, he just let his last remnant of journalistic integrity float away on live TV. Now he is no better than the brown haired guy or the inter-changeable blonde that sits between them.

Posted by: Zzyzx profile link at 06/23/09 12:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Awww, the modest Asian kids didn't stand a chance... :(

Posted by: Aaron profile link at 06/23/09 12:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Also, doesn't the loud kid seem kinda out of place with the other two prodigies? I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a columnist, but it's kinda underwhelming in comparison to an 11-year old published author and a child who has graduated from college already.

Posted by: Aaron profile link  in reply to  Aaron's comment at 06/23/09 12:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

"I WILL WIN THIS ARGUMENT IF MY LETTERS ARE BIGGER!" -An American Patriot

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link at 06/23/09 12:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Jonathan Hoenig better watch out!

Posted by: Bobby Seger profile link at 06/23/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Jonathan Krohn = Chas Tenenbaum

Posted by: Philip at 06/23/09 3:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I wish I could vote this up 1000 times. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Posted by: Paul  in reply to  Philip's comment at 06/24/09 8:55 PM  | Reply
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I feel like this is what the Glass children would be like.

Posted by: Luis at 06/23/09 3:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

The best comment on the entire internets.

I'm thinking Seymour minus the savantism, hopefully plus the suicide.

Posted by: Lenny  in reply to  Luis's comment at 06/24/09 2:57 AM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Kids Make Me Like Asians And Hate White People The Darndest Things

Posted by: Abalogariz profile link at 06/23/09 3:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

Oh my god. That kid makes me so angry.

Posted by: cassis profile link at 06/23/09 3:55 PM  | Reply
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That was worse than Columbine

Posted by: Sam at 06/23/09 3:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

When did they say the kid was home schooled? I also didn't hear the girl described as a college graduate... I would like to smack that one kid, not for his ideas but for his youthful exuberance.

Posted by: ModestAlfred profile link at 06/23/09 6:28 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

I like how the purpose in having kids on the show is to discuss issues that matter to kids, but fixing the education system doesn't really apply to you if you're already this far beyond your grade level.

Posted by: Arielle at 06/24/09 5:26 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I don't normally advocate bullying, but I hope that Jonathan kid gets the shit beat out of him very soon.

Posted by: Pat at 06/24/09 12:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

You guys, I think we've discovered the identity of An American Patriot.

Posted by: briewer profile link at 06/24/09 12:53 PM  | Reply
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If only an adult that wasn't intimidated by a 14 year old bully was there to provide a rational response to his polemic rhetoric (poor boy needs to take a civil speech class and stop taking 'Screaming at your opponents 101 with Bill O'Reilly). It seems like hes an advocate for institutional change, which is what Obama's adminstration is trying to do (especially with healthcare, energy and education [ironic, since he went off on some planned and didactic speech about the detriments of the education system. Yeah kid, we saw The Wire season 4 too. We're all experts]). It seems that the only reasonable exception is how Obama is dealing with wallstreet and banking crisis, and while I am not completely sure whether or not this is the best path to tread on, I feel pretty confident that any other person that stepped up to the chair of the Presidency would have the same scrutiny and criticisms as Obama, maybe even worse.

Posted by: billypilgrimisunstuck profile link at 06/25/09 11:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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