The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Reign Over Me
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Regardless of what Reign Over Me actually is as a movie, it has a built-in tragic flaw. Even if it was the most incredibly moving drama (it's not) that featured the most incredible performances (it doesn't) and the most stunning cinematography (whatever) and an incredible soundtrack (decent, but trying too hard), the simplest one-line description of the movie is and would always be this:
Adam Sandler's 9/11 movie.
And there is absolutely no way to read that sentence without thinking that Reign Over Me is ridiculous and unnecessary. It's not exactly ridiculous. It's definitely unnecessary. Most importantly, though, it could have been a lot worse. SURPRISE!
Reign Over Me is about a Manhattan dentist played by Don Cheadle who lives with his wife (Jada Pinkett Smith) and children (Unknowns) in a beautiful apartment and who is constantly getting offers for blowjobs from his patients. Sure! One day on his way home he sees his old college roommate (Adam Sandler) ride by on a motorized scooter, so he stops his car in the middle of the street and chases after him because that's a totally reasonable thing to do in New York that people do all the time. But Adam Sandler doesn't hear him because he has big headphones on (because he is sad). The next night, Don Cheadle is doing a boring puzzle with his wife because marriage takes a lot of work, and jumps at the chance to drive his daughter to her friend's house for a sleepover, and while he is dropping her off he sees Adam Sandler again (lucky!) and this time he stops him but Adam Sandler doesn't recognize him. Don Cheadle still manages to convince him to go get a cup of coffee, and ends up going over to his apartment? Totally normal progression of running into an old friend you haven't seen who appears to have amnesia and possibly Aspberger's (which you can get from sadness now). The two of them quickly become friends, but it is a very volatile friendship! Adam Sandler will have angry outbursts and throw root beer in Don Cheadle's face! But he also shows Don Cheadle the best time he's had in awhile. Eventually, though, Don Cheadle decides that he wants to get Adam Sandler help, because Adam Sandler has PTSD from having lost his wife and his three daughters in 9/11. At first Adam Sandler is angry! But then he agrees that he needs help! But then he doesn't respond very well to therapy! One night he gets drunk and finds a gun in his apartment, but he doesn't have any bullets, but instead of going to the bullet store he goes out in the street and points the gun at a cop, hoping the cop will shoot him. Instead, he is arrested and sent to a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation. The DA determines that he should be hospitalized for a year, and his in-laws agree, because they are sad that he won't talk to them anymore. There is a high powered court case, the way there always is when the state wants to hospitalize someone for mental illness (?) but the judge decides that it is up to Adam Sandler's in-laws to decide whether or not he should be locked up or allowed to figure things out "on his own time". Eventually, they decide to let him go because he kisses them on the cheek, moves out of his apartment without telling them where he's going, and also Don Cheadle tells them to. Family! Meanwhile, Don Cheadle has become a better husband. Also the woman who tried to give him a blowjob and then threatened a lawsuit and is also his therapist friend's sister (I think?) starts a love connection with Adam Sandler. It's a 9/11 miracle!
Ugh. You know, if this had just been an overwrought drama about a depressed widower, even if it still starred Adam Sandler, we probably wouldn't even be here right now. But someone had to bring 9/11 into it. Without minimizing the great human tragedy of September 11th, 2001, there is a secondary tragedy: the insufferable attempts of popular culture to make sense of and pay some kind of tribute to what happened. The fact of the matter is that genuine tragedy is not explainable, it's not relatable, and it makes for terrible cathartic feel-good narratives. So when Adam Sandler's fictional mother-in-law tells Don Cheadle about what happened to her fictional daughter and grandaughters on that very real day and says "I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card," I want to throw myself out of a very tall building (sorry).
There's also the problem of Adam Sandler's history of viewer-conditioning that makes it impossible to hear him yell at someone without picturing a golf ball being cajoled into going into its home.
I've never liked him in a dramatic movie, which isn't really his fault. He's not technically "bad" at it, I just don't really care. Trying to make a "serious" connection with a famous "comedic" actor is really difficult if not impossible. It's not so much about me wanting to keep them in a pre-determined box as it is their successes as actors in creating and perpetuating that box in the first place. Just like television actors from highly successful series often have a difficult time convincing audiences that they can be any character other than the one they made famous over years of syndicated episodes, so too does the comedian have the impossible task of proving to people that he's not joking. The boy who had a tight five about wolves, so to speak.
That being said, his character is just kind of weird. Admittedly, I don't know that much about the real life symptoms or effects of PTSD. Does it really make people throw the word "faggot" around for no reason and actually enjoy Mel Brooks movies and want to eat Chinese food at the first hint of bad news?
Sure, Don Cheadle. "I've got to bring you down here, it's crazy." It's crazy? It's a Mel Brooks marathon. Tell your wife that it's a Mel Brooks marathon and let her decide whether or not she needs you to bring her down there. I'm pretty sure she'll be the judge of that. By the end of the movie you do start to wonder where a busy Manhattan dentist with a wife and children manages to get all of his free time. The idea in this movie, made popular by just about every movie in which "men" are the featured characters, including The Hangover, just as an example, is that women are always trying to keep them from having fun. Jada Pinkett Smith won't let him have any fun! He's a man! Men need to have fun! Well men also need to raise their fucking children. Go home, Don Cheadle!
The movie's other main problem is its vacillation between broad brush strokes, and overly specific details. Adam Sandler can afford to hang out all day, riding around on his motor-scooter and not being a dentist anymore because he...well, he just has a lot of money now. "Between the government settlment and the insurance money." That doesn't seem right, but OK! I'm not a professor of 9/11 Pay Outs. Adam Sandler is constantly renovating his kitchen because that was the last thing he and his wife talked about before she died and it's a symbol of his inability to move on with his life, which is a perfectly fine if somewhat heavy handed way for the movie to depict his inner turmoil, but then he explains that the renovation was his wife and daughters' idea. Really? Later, his mother-in-law says of the finally finished kitchen "the girls would have loved this." REALLY? They are children! They don't give a fuck about kitchen renovations! And maybe I'm just overly-sensitive to this being the man-child with an inability to accept the responsibilities of adulthood, but somehow I feel like a crippled widower who spends all day sitting in his darkened apartment eating take out food and playing X-Box would not have this much toilet paper.
That is a reasonable, functional adult's amount of toilet paper!
In the end, this movie is basically a variation on the ever-popular "retard teaches a jaded cynic how to enjoy the wonders of life again" genre, which we have already determined to be one of the very worst genres. The fact that Adam Sandler is just psychologically retarded is of little difference. I'm not saying that people don't sometimes meet other people who reframe their priorities and help them to redefine themselves and their relationship to the world around them. I'm just saying that they almost never do that, especially when they're SUFFERING FROM PTSD and living in a PERSONAL HELL OF ENDLESS EMOTIONAL ANGUISH.
Never Forget.
Next week: Margot at the Wedding. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven't done so already, please consult the Official Rules.
Posted by Gabe at 6:15 PM in The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
Tags: Adam Sandler | Don Cheadle | Reign Over Me | September 11th
For a second there I thought this was going to be about the movie where Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey fight post-apocalyptic dragons and I was pretty excited. Then I was corrected by actually reading the first paragraph.
Dragons > 9/11
Score = 29
Yes, but 9/11 Dragons > Dragons > 9/11. Reign of Fire Over Me!
Score = 19
Score = 13
i havee datt BLOW dryerr. well i usee to loL. I TOREE THAT ONEE INTO PIECES(: im distructiivee. (: iloveeyou.
Score = -35
zomg you guys.. da cake eatur totes had a sex change!
Score = 8
They could have cast Prince in the title role: Purple Reign Of Fire Over Me.
Score = 3
Wasn't as funny as some Adam Sandler's earlier work, such as Waterboy, Don't Mess With a Zohan, and Little Nicky.
Score = -10
I had no insight as to the actual plot of this film prior to reading his article, I'd seen the previews and just assumed it was about Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle's quest win the famous New York double's bikeathon; I was sadly mistaken. It always seems to come off as rather tasteless when otherwise unnecessary movies are made in order to capitalize on events such as this... that's right Oliver Stone, I said it.
Score = 12
i don't think you've proved me wrong gabe. i still liked this movie. BUT you have pointed out some obvious things that i may have overlooked the first time around. however, mel brooks is great. and so are free blowjobs. so get over it.
Score = 25
Pretty sure wannabe-blowjob-giver Saffron Burrows was just therapist Liv Tyler's patient, not her sister. But I thought it was Bad Ideas Jeans to fix up those two characters. "Oh hey, Crazy Traumatized by 9/11 friend, meet Crazy Traumatized by a Bad Relationship girl!"
Score = 12
While Reign Over Me pretty well deserves whatever amount of shit you want to smear over its heavy-handed, ridiculous frame, I'm starting to feel like ANY plot at all would sound ridiculous in your capable, satirical hands. I'm not sure where the shitty plot ends and where Gabe's Vision of Truth starts.
Then Dick and Jane take off down a hill in a wagon. And Dick keeps repeating how they're going down down down the hill - which is totally realistic dialogue for riding down in a hill in a wagon. Because parents frequently let their children ride down steep hills in rickety old wagons from the fifties with anthropomorphic dolls that have feelings.
Score = 160
I chuckled heartily upon reading this.
Score = 13
I really think we should test this theory by nominating Chinatown. If Gabe can successfully rip it apart, the hunt will be over because we'll know that all movies are the worst. I'm not kidding.
Score = 43
Yeah, I mean, Gabe clearly missed the point about the toilet paper. People with PSTD/Giant Headphone Syndrome are always trying to build pyramids of things--toilet paper, jokes--but ultimately failing. See? The toilet paper pyramid has no top.
Score = 24
No no, this is how it would be:
Then Dick and Jane take off down a hill in a wagon, you guys. And Dick KEEPS REPEATING how they're going down down down the hill - which is totally realistic dialogue for riding down in a hill in a wagon. Woof. Because parents FREQUENTLY LET THEIR CHILDREN ride down steep hills in rickety old wagons from the fifties with anthropomorphic dolls that have feelings. This is something that actually happens.Woof.
Score = 11
Your Gabe uses too many capitals. I think you're thinking of a different Gabe, one named An American Patriot. The 'you guys' is a good call, but probably not the 'woof's. He seems to reserve those for quick, in-and-out expressions of disapproval. TWMOAT reviews, as more in-depth expressions of disgust, seem to find Gabe using more eloquent means of telling these films to go fuck themselves.
Score = 10
So Marlon Brando is supposed to be this huge crime boss, yet no one is guarding him at all? Its obviously true because Al Pacino runs through the hospital screaming it. We get it, Scarface.
Score = 7
Here it is, you guys, the inaugural lecture by Constantinople, Professor of Gabriel Delahaye Studies at the University of Movie Reviewing. Bravo!
Score = 13
Do "The Jackal" with Richard Gere and Bruce Willis. You'll do the slow clap followed by the slow suicide attempt.
Score = 2
The worst part of this? That last video clip.
Score = 5
The last video makes me want to blow up buildings....in Nashville
Score = 1
I liked this movie.
That's pretty much it.
Score = -4
I think at one point Don Cheadle just casually jumps into Shadow of the Colossus, the epic brooding art film of video games.
Score = 3
Not to turn this into bookgum.com, but the whole "woman as enemy of man" theme is a time honored tradition of American Literature. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN the novel and/or film "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"? You can even go as far back as Rip Van Winkle to see the whole "my wife/girlfriend never lets me be me" thing. Also, NEVER FORGET how evil the wives are portrayed in American Beauty and Ordinary People, so this is not a new thing (not that anyone was suggesting that) And to be fair, doesn't every movie or TV show t marketed to women portray husbands/boyfriends as complete oafs?
Score = 27
The difference with your examples is that those women were at least relatively complex and relevant to their stories. Unlike the modern hack versions who seemingly exist just to annoy and perpetuate boring stereotypes. The sitcom thing where men are all morons is equally boring and crap. I think I just hate everything now. Except Mad Men. That's a good show...
Score = 4
I think the point still stands that it is woman (no matter how complex her character) who is a chief obstacle in achieving an ideal manhood in American storytelling and that The Hangover or Knocked Up or any other film is doing anything new. And I don't think you could say that Bradley Cooper or Ed Helms or Zach Galifinakis are portraying fully realized, complex characters so there is no reason for the women in the film to be any more realized (just the tiger). Also, the wife of Rip Van Winkle is not developed at all (I am the preeminent Washington Irving scholar in America).
Score = 1
Gabe - thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for saving me from sitting through this. I've had at least a half-dozen people recommend this thing to me and I have put it off since it came out on DVD. Sandler's Bob Dylan 'do and Happy Gilmore speech impediment were enough to seal the deal, but that last scene made me want to shoot him in the face. Don Cheadle should have murdered him in the street and they could have rolled credits after that fade to black.
Score = -4
The problem here is Mike Binder. He is King of The Worst.
Score = 3
I can't possibly agree more. How this guy gets to make movies and tv shows, I have no idea.
Score = 2
You guys have obviously not seen Blankman.
Score = 1
I feel like Big Headphones are becoming the universal sign for "Crazy Putty." Technology is moving along, but you refuse to change, you ragamuffin! Danger!
I would like to nominate Little Black Book. Memories of that movie give me PTSD, but with less toilet paper in storage.
Score = 18
And why did they ditch the original "Love Reign Over Me" by The Who...a timeless classic that hasn't aged a minute in 30 years...for fucking Eddie Vedder? That was my first clue to avoid this overwrought turkey.
Score = 2
I worked a video store when this movie came out and that song played in the trailer. I had no idea it was Eddie Vetter, however, I thought it was Adam Sandler.
Thank you for clearing that up for me!
Score = 4
gabe, i like it best when you develop a sound argument for something being awful as opposed to just saying so because it's expected.
Score = 3
Street Kings next please.. Christ that movie was bad.
Score = 2
Seconded! That movie was HORRIBLE, and that fact was only accentuated by the obscene amount of A-list stars in it.
Score = -1
Also, on the subject of Sandler's acting, I thought he was great in the semi-serious semi-funny Punch-Drunk Love. Its a fantastic movie, one of PTA's best. I'm well aware that I'm in the minority here...
Score = 23
Regarding Sandler's typecast anger, watch the telephone scene with Philip Seymour Hoffman in Punch Drunk Love. It's intense and evokes no "Get in your hole!" or typical angry Sandler pejoratives. That movie needs to get more recognition however not on this site/feature.
Score = 19
I caught a little bit of Demolition Man on TV this weekend. It's like a 1990's shit time capsule. I respectfully submit.
Score = 1
Thank you for finally reviewing this piece of shit! You're right, the worst part of the movie is it's attempt to capitalize on the tragedy of 9/11. But there are oh so many other bad things about it. And I was distracted by how much he looked like Bob Dylan because of his hair, as RunBMC mentioned. Not distracted enough not to notice how bad the film was, but pretty damn distracted.
Score = 2
Swept Away. I don't even know what to say about it because nothing happens.
Score = 2
"I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card"
I nominate The Lake House because it made no sense and the ending was IMPOSSIBLE. if there was ever some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT going on outside of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it was in The Lake House.
the time-space continuum is still recovering.
Score = 7
"I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card"
i had written something about inconsistent imagery and mixed metaphors here, but it seems to have disappeared... probably because i tried to make an arrow, which turned into an open bracket. i won't try to recreate its effect.
Score = 0
yes, "the Lake House" please-- I've been hoping to see a Sandra Bullock stinker reviewed for a while! Her other psuedo-time-traveling flick, "Premonition," is pretty horrific as well, if you really hate yourself and want to go for a double feature.
Score = 2
can you please write about Dogma. i just watched it, and it hurt bad.
Score = -2
Score = -14
When you posted it the first time, I was skeptical of your point.
Now that you've posted it twice, though, your ideas are intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Score = 19
Actually i posted this one first. Apparently when you previewyour post and then submit it doesn't post in reply. Whoops
Score = 1
You already posted this. Relax, technoapesofmath.
Score = -16
Can you review that video/song at the end? That shit is insulting.
Score = 3
Will say it again: Lars and the Real Girl. PLEASE! I need Gabe to publicly ridicule this movie. A friend recommended it to me. We are no longer friends. Why would entire town give in to the demands of a clearly disturbed/retarded person instead of getting him help? An abomination on so many levels.
Score = -26
Sorry, but that's actually a good movie. DISQUALIFIED.
Score = 15
Not according to Richard Roeper (among others) who listed it as his number one pick for worst movie of the year.
Score = -7
I feel your thumbs-down pain, Aladdin. No one believes me that Sideways is the worst but I think I'm starting to come to terms with it.
I will speak on your behalf though as there is definitely a scene in Lars and the Real Girl in which a man stands on the shore of a lake, looks up at the sky, and says, "Looks like a storm's a comin'." Following this statement, something bad happens (someone dies?). I'm pretty sure this kind of heavy- handed foreshadowing never happens in movies that are not the worst.
Score = 0
I believe you, Staveitoff. I fucking hated "Sideways." Goddamn fucking yuppies make a movie. PLEASE review "Sideways" Gabe, at least so I can frame-grab a shot of Paul Giamatti dumping spat out wine on his head and use it as my new avatar.
Score = 0
How do you talk about this movie without talking about how awful a director Mike Binder is? In Mike Binder's world, every man is a spoiled, immature man-child who just wants to have fun, every woman is keeping men from having fun, and beautiful woman always want to sleep with Mike Binder (Mind of the Married Man, The Upside of Anger). He's really, really awful. Take note.
Score = 8
These are usually good for atleast a bit of a laugh but this is really just trying way too hard. Toilet paper? Really? Every plot of every movie seems to be ridiculous to you guys unless it involves Paul Rudd and Jason Segal talking about their masturbation habits. I thought this movie was pretty great and I thought Adam Sandler did a great job. The courtroom breakdown by Sandler near the end is one of the single saddest movie scenes I have ever seen and if you didn't at least feel something during that scene besides "DEWD! I'M SO PUTTING THIS IN MY BLOG", then I feel kinda bad for you.
Score = -11
Dewd, my blog is FULL of scenes of shitty movies already. I don't find this movie touching or heartwarming or anything but money-grubbing and awful-but-hoping-that-because-it's-about-9/11-people-will-not-care-or-notice-and-we-can-get-away-with-it.
Score = 1
The Onion A.V. Club did it!
Score = 2
This movie was pretty good. This guy Gabe obviously didn't hate it. He thought it wasn't great. He wouldn't see it again. That's about as far as he was willing to go, which spells trouble considering this is meant to be the hunt for the WORST OF ALL TIME. The WORST of ALL TIME!!! Come on, let's get back to the toilet water with this thing. Perfect, the Gary Oldman midget one, they are legitimately SHITTY and make for great columns. Are readers suggesting these films to Gabe? If so stop sending him ideas like this that are obviously REASONABLY well made and send him some proper GUFF!!! It will be better for him and all of us. Yeah go Adam Sandler you made me cry in this one mate NICE JOB
Score = -5
Gabe I totally disagree with you about comedians not being able to pull off dramatic roles. I know you hate Robin Williams but in my opinion he emotes really well on screen. And Jim Carey in Eternal Sunshine and Truman Show are two of my favorite performances by anyone, ever. Though I will admit that Adam Sandler doesn't fall into this category at all....Spanglish was overwhelmingly mediocre, it was like a cinematic manifestation of that dance card quote, and Punch Drunk Love was so just AWFUL...I truly think anyone who liked it just doesn't realize that it's okay to hate a movie that seems initially as though you should like it.
Score = -12
You fail at life for thinking Punchdrunk Love was a bad movie.
Score = 11
I loved Punch Drunk Love. There, I said it.
Score = 4
Wow you guys, relax....maybe I shouldn't have said "everyone who likes it is mistaken" but, really? I "fail at life" for not loving an unfunny, unromantic, and emotionally stilted film that tries so so hard to be arty, starring an actor I almost categorically dislike? IF THAT IS SO WRONG THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT.
Score = 3
You WIN at life. Punchdrunk Love is FUCKING STUPID.
Score = 1
see also:
Peter Sellers in Being There
Tom Hanks in Philadelphia (remember? he was considered a comedic actor back then. The Money Pit, nevah forget)
Robin Williams in the few good movies he has (Dead Poets? Good Morning Vietnam? Good Will Hunting?)
Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
Hugh Laurie in the serious House eps
...and on and on and on
Score = 9
If the hunt was comprised of films like Havoc, Lost in Space, and Dreamcatchers all the time, it wouldn't be as good. The best reviews are for films that are really trying to be good but fail on some level. I already know why Bicentennial Man was a terrible movie and I didn't even have to see it, why do I need Gabe to tell me? It's your Reign Over Mes, Crashes, A.I.s, I Am Sams and to a lesser extent your Butterfly Effects that make this hunt worth while. And while it's fun to see Gabe knock the Baby Genius elites off their pedestals, I'd much rather he take on a challenge.
Score = 13
Gabe, can you try to get back to the titualr mission here? Every week it's just you trolling with another mediocre film that came out in the last few years; sure, "Crash" deserves a spot in this hunt, but let's get back to the truly awful and offensive mastershits rather than wasting your time on vaguely disappointing mid-budget 00s flicks. It's disingenuous and boring.
Score = 6
*titular, obviously. as you were.
Score = -1
Are people STILL going on about Setpember 11? WTF! It happened, it was sad, now move on.
Score = -17
i'm glad you made an asperger's joke a week before margot at the wedding because now youll have to admit that youre a pretentious over-priveleged whitey like the characters in that movie. so am i. it's nothing to be ashamed of. just stop self-hating and get off our backs.
Score = 5
women don't just try to spoil men's fun in movies... it happens in real life too. my wife is always murdering anything resembling fun between me and our five month old son. just the other day i was sitting on the floor reading videogum while he lying on his stomach next to me chewing on some electrical chords and she swoops iin, picks him up, yells at me, and shits all over our good time.
needless to say the kid started crying, because women are always standing in the way of men and their fun.
true story.
PS - the chords weren't plugged into anything. women... those crazy emotions!
Score = 12
I just saw Street Fighter: The Legend of Chunh Li. It was by far the WORST movie i have ever seen. Chris Clein is so fucking bad in that movie he is now one of my favorite actors.
Score = 1
Faggot, a funny word like poundcake, or pickle.
Gabe, when you say you dont buy him in dramatic roles, that means you've seen Punch Drunk Love, yes? and you... did not like it? Because it is great.
also, im guessing it might not be okay to make fun off 9/11, but it is okay to make fun of 9/11 country songs, i take it.
people who dont like punch drunk love didnt get it. not that theres anything to get. they either wanted it to be like eternal sunshine, or garden state, or being john malkovich or something where the guy kills everyone. PTA doesnt work like that. hes a nihilist. he has no qualms about setting up a psychopath in what can hardly be called a relationship with no resolution save promising to smash each other's face with a sledgehammer. the best part of that movie is from the car crash to the confrontation with that actor guy. and also how its a surreal film which uses sentimentality like a cheap crutch and eschews any real thematic arc or filmic norms.
Score = -9
I recommend "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor."
Before we even begin, there's a major cast replacement with a disturbingly inferior counterpart. Also, in five years the main characters' son has aged twenty years and developed an American accent. Then, some mummies appear and fuck shit up. But that's a kind way of putting it. The editing and pacing of the movie was so horrible and nonsensical that the lifeless mass of standard cliches they lumped together and called a plot was transformed into a muddled pool of melted logic which somehow impossible became to follow even though every step of the journey was expected. The 'special' effects were the worst in the series and that's saying something mighty powerful after the craptacular appearance of CGI pseudo-Dwayne Johnson as what was supposed to be the Scorpion King in the second movie. Jokes? I honestly don't think it had any. I sure as hell wasn't laughing, anyway. And let's not forget the brilliant screenplay with such gems as, "Here we go again..." muttered by Brendan Fraser as another pile of rotten cliched zombies stumbled his way.
It's amazing. A++
Score = 2
Be Kind Rewind is, off the top of my head, the worst movie I have ever seen. I nominate that.
Score = -12
oh, you mad a common mistake!
you should watch it again, while having a sense of humor, you're gonna like it!
Score = 4
Oh were there funny jokes in that movie? I must have been too distracted by Mos Def's mongoloid delivery and the horrible plot which seemed to have been developed by YouTube comments. Oh, and all the unfunny jokes.
Score = -11
Monogoloid? Are you serious? That's the adjective you're choosing to use?
Score = 4
shit I think he was serious
Score = 2
Why not? Its pretty spot-on.
Score = -2
I agree with everyone about "Punchdrunk Love" being a fantastic movie. I know I've said it before, but this whole Gen X 'everything sucks' mentality mixed with Gen Y 'everything that sucks is good' mentality is getting overdone and tired. Replace WMOAT with some positivity, and start finding movies that are really fucking good that nobody's given due credit.
Either that, or go back to WMOAT that are actually WMOAT, like "The Apple". What? You haven't seen "The Apple"? The rock opera contemporary of "Xanadu" about Satan using Glam Rock to ruin a world of Jesus-loving Hippies? Well, then, continue with this jaded column and get reviewing...
Score = 1
i know you're being inherently hypocritical in your criticism of what WMOAT has become, but in the name of positivity (and for Gabe not selecting Chain Reaction because he's a douche)... right on, man!
Score = 3
1) as usual, I nominate Gossip
2) Can we make the next party game "explain a plot Gabe-style"?
Score = 6
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist! A major subplot is trying to find norah's drunk friend via places she puked! Michael Cera drives a Yugo! He's the only straight guy in an all gay band because he is sensitive and accepts their gayness. Yet the movie is entirely devoid of any gay affection because, well, gay people kissing is totally gross! Norah has never had an orgasm but decides to have one because this happened:
Norah: There's this part of Judaism that I like. Tikun Olam. It said that the world is broken into pieces and everyone has to find them and put them back together.
Nick: Maybe we don't have to find it. Maybe we are the pieces.
Norah: Nick? I'm coming in...
At this point Nick fingerbangs Norah(because that's what sensitive guys do) and she makes cumming noises which are being recorded... at Electric Lady Studios! That's right, her dad owns it because, you know, Jewish people own stuff in the entertainment business.
Score = 6
Wait...what?! Is anyone else put off at the fact Micheal Cera did something that sexual on the screen?
Score = 10
It wasn't on screen, it just showed the vu meter peaking when she was "peaking". oy vey. Seriously though, before Norah decided they were gonna hook up like two sixth graders behind the snapple machine in the school cafeteria, she was gonna have nick lay down a couple tracks in the same place countless rock stars had done before. Nick is totally cool with this though because he's sensitive.
Score = 4
- Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
- 9/11.
- 9/11 who?
- AND YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET
Score = 18
He's playing Shadow of the Colossus on a Playstation 2 :). I think he calls it an xbox though.
anyway, i thought the movie was okay, at the very least it was earnest.
Score = 2
i liked margot at the wedding.
and what about punch drunk love?! i thought adam sandler did a good job and that's a fairly serious role for him.
Score = 4
terrible terrible movie.
and it would still be absolutely bad without the 9/11 thing.
Adam Sandler is just the worst ever.
Score = -1
HEATHERS, I nominate the 1989 movie Heathers. I don't know what to say besides, it's real bad. that, and I kind of want you to finish the movie for me, because I sure couldn't.
Heathers stars a young Winona Ryder and Christian Slater, among others.
Score = -9
maybe I should preview my comments when I try to use html tags.
Score = -3
I used to work at a place that interviewed people to gauge their reactions to upcoming movie previews. I remember this one distinctly because, when it first came out, there was a point that Don Cheadle said, "His family died in a plane crash." Several weeks later, a new version of the preview came out, and at the same point, Don Cheadle said, "His family died in 9/11."
And I threw up in my mouth a little.
Score = 2
Do Eagle Eye. It makes no sense on any level that has or will be invented.
Score = 0
Reign Over Me was an amazing film. And, not everyone stereotypes actors by the genres that they're best known for! Some people that enjoy the art of acting, can look past "sterotyping," and see an actor for who he/she truly is. I've never gotten so irritated over a movie review, until I read this one. I supposed it hit a nerve, when you started mocking the characters habits. Such as the Chinese food, video games & toilet paper rolls.
For one thing, you state clearly that you do not fully understand the depth of PTSD symptoms,. And, seem to almost be mocking PTSD survivors. Certainly, when someone is in the throws of full-blown PTSD, they are not going to act rational. And, possibly exhibit psychotic behavior. But, I'd venture a guess that they were trying to portray Adam Sandler as a SEVERELY traumatized individual. Whom was simply doing what seemed to get him through the day. Monotonous, O.C.D. based activities that brought him some solace, in his fragmented world & mind. This was not bad acting. He apparently had had a complete nervous break sfter the death of his wife, and was barely able to function w/o being in a supportive home environment; i.e., a group home. And, his protective landlord recognized and sympathized with this.
Maybe, just maybe, the PTSD was a little too heavily played out. But, I hardly think that the creators of this film were trying to cash in on 9-11. Adam Sandler is a brilliant actor, and I honestly didn't care for him until I saw this movie. When an actor can break out of a genre, and play a completely different type of character, that's when I fully respect their talent. I will not argue that there were parts in this movie that were VERY drawn out; should have never made it into the final cut.
I also think that the relationship between the husband & wife was multi-layered in this film. I think that he obviously was a workaholic, whom should have spent more time with his family. But, also, I think that she was very jealous of his relationship with his traumatized friend. And, she was a very self-absorbed person. And, very much in a "Mommy" roll, of wanting the "man home right after work. Dinner on the table" type of charcter. In contrast to a husband that was much more "humanitarian." And, I believe that this s clearly shown toward the end of the movie.
I''d like to suggest that you do some basic research on PTSD. Also, research the different "phases" of PTSD. PTSD is not curable. But, it does have varying degrees & stages, depending on the level of trauma & following therapy. And, I'd urge you to even read about Nervous Breakdowns. Afterwards, think about giving this movie a fair review.
I certainly don't think a movie critic should have to do research, to write a review. But, with a movie of this nature & depth, I think it's best to get a little "reading" in before reviewing. There are many PTSD survivors that never make it out of the end of that "breakdown" and lose a piece of their minds forever. And, this is surely what they were trying to portray wit this character. A man that has gone way over the edge; a caring friend that wants to help bring him back to reality.
Score = -8
Wow! I think you might be taking this a bit too seriously. I thought the movie did a crap job of showing PTSD and I know a bit about it on a professional level. However, that's not really the point of this review.
Score = 2
Kelly, I am embarrassed for you. I hope that sounds more condescending on the page as it does in my head.
Score = 3
I want to nominate the movie "Frailty". I saw it on a double-date with my husband and his best friend. I'm incredibly cheap, but I wouldn't have minded walking right out on this piece of shit.
It stars Bill Paxton (there's your first clue it's crap) and Matthew McConaughey (and there's your 2nd). Bill Paxton is a father who is convinced that he is on a mission from God to kill demons who live inside ordinary people, and the people don't even know that they are demons. So he kills these innocent people in front of his kids. One kid believes in his dad, the other one believes that the dad is evil for killing. Matthew McConaughey plays his son as a grown-up who is telling their story to an FBI agent.
Me and the friend's girlfriend hated it. My husband and his friend liked it. A lot. Of course, my husband also liked The Master of Disguise with Dana Carvey, another one that should be nominated for this hunt.
Score = -1
another example of women shitting all over men's good times.
first, this movie is good. and not only does it star bill paxton, but he directed it too.
second, if you'd seen it with just you and your girlfriend you'd have liked it very much like you should have
BUT
you saw it with men and you wanted to ruin their night, like you want to ruin their lives and had no choice but to hate it.
women... what a bunch of douches
Score = 2
The worst movie of all time is Color of Night (1994)
Score = 1
Adam Sandler yelling at Q. Awesome.
Score = 0
Gabe, you shoud definitely try with Antichrist. It starts as a porn, turns into something like a drama on how loss is terrible and you become a freak, then come the talkin (?!) animals and images taken straight from animal planet i guess, after that you get your hopes high for some real rosmary's baby kind of exciting stuff but instead you get something like saw 7, and the ending.... well, you just have to see that. I must say, as for one of the worst movies I've ever seen, this one gave me lots of laughs. But I guess that wasn't exactly what von Trier hoped for.
Score = 0
Casting Adam Sandler in a movie about 9/11, who thought this was a good idea?
Score = 0
I'd like to recommend John Q if I could. It's on TNT right now and it is really some shit.
Score = 0
Did anyone ever 'recommend' Meet Joe Black? I've seen it three times. Why you ask? Because sometimes I like to torture myself. Hopkins is just phoning it in and Pitt acts like a stoned toddler. The movie is at least twice as long as it needs to be (although it could also be argued it did not need to 'be' at all). Just terrible...
Score = 0
Dear Hollywood,
Get a new fucking diner set. I have seen this diner in Old School and Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and Reign on Me. I'm pretty sure I've seen it elsewhere too. It's getting annoying. Get on that.
Thank you,
Raz
Score = 0
not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live's work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice...no offense. just let people live their lives and don't make them feel bad for it
Score = -3
not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live's work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice...no offense. just let people live their lives and don't make them feel bad for it
Score = -2
not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live's work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice...no offense. just let people live their lives and don't make them feel bad for it
Score = -2
There should be a committee that decides how to fairly punish Hollywood for these dumbfuck decisions. Like, "ok you want to make a movie that features a dog that plays basketball who resists the trappings of fame and fortune (bitches)in order to play host a charity basketball tournament that benefits 911 widows refereed by Adam Sandler with aspergers who looks like early period Bob Dylan and we'll call it Hotel Rwanda for Dogs - ok well in that case we get to make you watch your own stupid movie every day for the rest of your life in the company of beautiful woman who are willing to sleep with you if you can prove that you are a talented filmmaker .
Also I want a committee that regulates cover songs so that when Limp Biskett performs "Behind Blue Eyes" we, as a nation, can exercise a morally justified campaign to end our own lives.
Score = 2
I vote for Cold Mountain again.
Score = 0
I have to suggest The Notebook or The Passion of the Christ.
Score = 0
I nominate 'I Know Who Killed Me"
SO BAD
Score = 0
I nominate PAY ATTENTION!
http://videogum.com/archives/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-o-10_010611.html
Score = 1