The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Round One Late Additions
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
While the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time is only just beginning (Netflix is sending me Battlefield Earth as we speak), what has become painfully (literally) clear is just how many viable candidates there are. Yesterday, I announced the initial entrants in the competition:
- Battlefield Earth
- Baby Geniuses
- Lady In The Water
- The Fountain
- Southland Tales
But due to the influx of suggestions, I'm now adding some additional titles to the starting bracket:
- Crossroads
- The Number 23
- Alexander
- I Am Sam
- Johnny Mnemonic
I'm bumping my Netflix account up to 1,000,000 discs at a time, and am going to get through these as best I can. Obviously, they're going to have to share the workday with updates on Heidi Montag's pubic hair conditioning regimen, and new episodes of Who Farted Money?. The rules, if you do not yet know them, are simple, constantly being amended, and after the jump. And of course your suggestions in either comment or email form are always appreciated.
TWMOAT Official Rules:
- It cannot be intentionally horrible.
- It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (no "outsider art.")
- It cannot be Glitter.
- It has to have had a theatrical release.
- New Rule: Now matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
- New Rule: Gabe is the boss.
Posted by Gabe at 3:11 PM in The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time
Tags: Alexander | Crossroads | I Am Sam | Johnny Mnemonic | The Number 23 | TWMOAT
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Look Who's Talking
Look Who's Talking 2
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i haven't it because i'm figuring it's just THAT bad, but "world trade center" with your boy nick coppola. but maybe you can watch it and tell me if it's that bad or not?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469641/
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I walked out of I Am Sam because some thugged out dude was threatening to kick my ass (I deserved it for being there). The theater gave me a ticket to see a later showing - and I didn't go back. That movie eats it.
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I am saddend to see I Am Sam on a list with a movie starring keanu fucking reeves.
Some people have no shame.
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I Am Sam isn't really THAT bad. It's like Love Actually in that it's best watched when menstruating.
But srsly. Autumn in New York. Richard Gere is (was) totally A-list and Winona Ryder's banged enough indie dudes to be up there, too.
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I am becoming very personally interested and emotionally tied to this competition. I think if you are going to add I Am Sam by extension you are going to have to add The Other Sister. Two attractive actors pretend to be retarded. They manage to be shitty actors and offensive!!! You should really rent out a public space and have showings of these movies for groups to discuss and analyze (see: get super high).
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alexander was an ancient history version of The Doors. but unlike the Doors, it wasn't the best movie of all time. it was definitely subpar, but from a hlariousness/enjoyability standpoint, it's nowhere near the worst movie of all time. ALEXANDER, BE REASONABLEQ!!!
i would like to add a late nomination for August Rush. (which i know you will ignore.)
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I am really glad the Number 23 is on this list. It's one of the most poorly put together Hollywood films I've ever seen, and certainly the most laughable.
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Radio starring Cuba Gooding Jr.?
I hated Meet Joe Black
What about "The New World" - also awful.
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Hudson Hawk.
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Well since you loved loved Juno..how are other random peoples' worst films not even on the list? Hottie and the Nottie, Gigli, Showgirls, The Postman, etc...
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Ok, I think I got it. Don Juan DeMarco. Definitely should not have been made.
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I thought I shared similar tastes with this blog.
Then you said Southland Tales.
I'm sad this relationship has to end like this.
Hating on Southland Tales is just depressing for the future of America.
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Bangkok Dangerous, G-Force, Knowing, Amarillo Slim, Electric God, The Dance.
None of these movies have been released yet, but according to imdb they will all have Nicolas Cage in them.
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crash. the one about race not the one based on j.g. ballard's book.
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the fountains still on the list. take it off.
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Do not worry. If The Fountains is as good as you say it is, it won't make it past Round One.
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My rules:
-Cannot be an Urban Comedy (Norbit, Soul Plane, Whose your Caddy, Lil Man, White Chicks)
-Cannot be "spoof" movie or be connected to any amount of writers from Scary Movie.
Ed
Son of the Mask
Kangaroo Jack
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Yes. As a rule, most if not all comedies, no matter how terrible, are ineligible. But you are right. I will add these to the Official List.
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Yes there are way too many bad bad comedies. That being said:
Man of the House
My Boss's Daughter (Worst movie I've watched all the way through.)
Summer Catch
Material Girls
Texas Rangers (I have not seen it but a "western" that features James Van Der Beek, AND, Ashton Kutcher sounds like TWMOAT. It is going into my queue)
Stay Alive (Once again I havent watched a minute of it but have always wanted to. Frankie Muniz in a horror movie that if he dies in the video game he dies in real life).
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Stay Alive is bad -- I, too, hoped that Frankie Muniz would bite the dust and *SPOILER* he doesn't. It one point it looks like he died (he died in the game), but he miraculously comes out of NOWHERE in the last two minutes to save the protagonist.
It seriously sucked balls.
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The remade version of Planet of The Apes starring Mark Wahlberg. Yak!
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"Bobby" was pretty bad.
-Wow, Elijah Wood, aren't we in the 60s?
-Yes, we certainly are. And we should do whatever we can to point that out as frequently as possible because we're in the 60s and things were different then.
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Any Rush Hour, Lethal Weapon, Beverly Hills Cop, Police Academy... heck, any cop-related comedy would have served the advancement of human art better by choosing to die before it lived.
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I haven't seen I am Sam and always received that, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT! OMFG! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!" This weekend might be the right time.
But, people need to lay off Lady in the Water. It brought me to tears. TEARS! With its score, its message of hope and its huge eagle.
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i wholeheartedly second "baby genuises".
also: "nowhere", "taxi", "factory girl".
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i wholeheartedly second "baby genuises".
also: "nowhere", "taxi", "factory girl".
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Did anyone suggest "The Core" with Hillary Swank. Seriously, this may be the best 'funny bad' movie ever.
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I beg you to consider the Roger Moore extreme sports classic "Fire, Ice and Dynamite" it has Buzz Aldrin AND Isaac Hayes in it.....it's funny on multiple levels, but mostly because of it's relation to saturday morning cartoon all-star races. I bought it for 50 cents in a bin at the video store, and it was the greatest 50 cents I have ever spent. We had to stop the movie when I showed it to a friend, I was afraid he was gonna have a heart attack.
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Liquid Sky. Easily one of the worst films to ever come out. It was made during the art scene of New York in the early 80's, so it is all kinds of weird.
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its come up a few times now but I'd like to see 'crash' - mostly 'cause it got an oscar while being just unbelievably bad.
I don't get why this is such an unpopular choice but Lord of the Rings; The Two Towers. considering the books, If the inclusion of a series of scenes is based on the logic that people are too stupid to keep up the non-love story if there isn't pointless 30 minutes+ of flashbacks then it definitely moves from just being a mediocre film to criminal.
also and more emphatically "21 Grams"
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I submit 'Vanilla Sky' and 'From Justin to Kelly'
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There are tons of terrible movies:
Driven (Sylvester Stallone & Burt Reynolds)
Catwoman (Halle Berry & Sharon Stone)
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (Christopher Reeves & Gene Hackman)
Street Fighter (Jean-Claude Van Damme & Raul Julia)
And also, ANY Uwe Boll movie should be on this list. He gets A-List actors for pretty much all of his movies.
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The Lawnmower Man
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I nominate Wicker Man!
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you had better be talking about the NCage disaster as the original is one of the BEST films to date, a truely scary approach to the horror genre, unlike the shit thats constantly being churned up by hollywood.
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None of these movies approach the level of attrocity of Zardoz. Watch that movie, and then tell me that The Number 23 stands a chance.
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Dreamcatcher. "It's like Alien but it comes out your ass! And then a retarded guy with cancer fights it! And the main guy's, like, psychic or something! Sold!"
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"The Bone Snatcher" -- Scott Bairstow is far from 'A' or 'B' (or even C through, about M) list, but I think trying to play on some "Bone Collector" confusion accounts for something.
PS. Be sure to watch out for the empty knife cartridge.
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Yay... I agree with Wicker Man... the remake. Ellen looks just embarassed throughout the entire crap fest and Nick Cage hasn't a clue what movie he's in... I also think the following need to be included: Dead Poet's Society (this movie had me cursing out loud in the theatre it was sooooo wretched). In fact, Robin Williams should just have his own catagory. And Michael Keaton, too. OH - and Dreyfuss - OMG - Richard Dryfuss films - pew. Holland's Opus. Stinky Stank. And most of Richard Gere's too.
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I'd like to nominate Leprechaun 4: In Space and Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood
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I nominate a little film called "Simply Irresistable" from the nineties starring Sarah Michelle Gellar --- she was B-list back then... and she was in "Southland Tales"!
Also, "Stay Alive," a movie that centered around a video game that used an erroneous version of the Elizabeth Bathory legend -- it moved her base of operations from Hungary to the US. It is also good to note that it starred everyone's favorite white-Gary Coleman, Frankie Muniz.
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I nominate two movies, though I'm not sure if the second one qualifies as having a B-movie star in it. But here goes:
-Zardoz (Sean Connery. That's all I'm gonna say.)
-Wild Zero(Probably, hands down, the worst japanese rock-n-roll zombie movie I've seen. And I can say that in full confidence.)
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remake of hamlet with ethan hawke? only movie i ever walked out on...at the "to be or not to be" scene that takes place in the "Action" section of Blockbuster video.
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you gotta do FUTURE WAR. trust me on this one. epicly bad. the news camerman's camera is made of cardboard.
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august rush. i saw it on a plane recently and i needed 2 vomit bags.
come to think of it, almost anything robin wiliams did in the last decade (other than death to smoochie).
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I'm surprised not to see "The Fountain" on this list. Didn't see it in theatres, but it was even a waste of the $3.99 to rent it.
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And now I look like a complete fucking idiot. I guess that's the problem of looking for something to not be there rather than seeing if it is. Can't believe I missed that.
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What about Jumper? I couldn't even begin to think about how awful that film was.
It had the line "they followed you through your Jump Scar." Oh and Samuel L Jackson with white hair.
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Plan 9 from Outer Space has to be one of the worst, and it did have Bela Legousi in it.
The Happening is also one monumental pile of fail, far worse than Lady in the Water. But you should probably just exclude anything by M Night
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