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April 29, 2009

That's Your Boyfriend: Nocturne

This is Nocturne, and this is his theory about people with the last name "Smith," and this is his cover of Elliott Smith's "Needle In The Hay." It's slightly funnier if it's real, but funny either way:

You need to get your boyfriend Nocturne off heroin. (Thanks to Alexander, who points out this is right up there with the Worst Neutral Milk Hotel Cover Of All Time, for the tip!)

Posted by Lindsay at 12:00 PM in ,
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23 Comments

"I almost wish my name was Nocturne Smith", as if Nocturne wasn't a made up name. Perfect.

You outdid yourself today, Linds.

Posted by: Ugah profile link at 04/29/09 12:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Essentially, this is what the average American thinks Brooklyn looks like. (well at least 1/3 -- the other 2/3 being early 90's rave enthusiasts and avant-garde street performers throwing balloons of menstrual blood at you and hissing like cats, 'cause you know, counterculture)

Do you think Nocturne put cigarettes out on his arm to collect ash for the wonderful art on the wall behind him?

Posted by: Ewe Betcha profile link at 04/29/09 12:53 PM  | Reply
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Oh man. This weirdo looks like a cross between Wolverine and John Kerry when he came back from Vietnam.

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 04/29/09 12:59 PM  | Reply
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I was thinking he looks like Wolverines slacker EMO son that is living in his basement.

Posted by: Bad tings ah gwan profile link  in reply to  Kenny Powers's comment at 04/29/09 4:23 PM  | Reply
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I'm in love with a chin strap, and I don't care who knows it!

Posted by: Constantinople profile link at 04/29/09 1:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

helloooo!? you forgot kevin smith and the good prophet joseph smith.

Posted by: Jeb profile link at 04/29/09 1:11 PM  | Reply
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It's ok to pretend your name is Nocturne. But pretending it is Nocturne SMITH? Now that's just going too far.

Posted by: ZillaMonster profile link at 04/29/09 1:34 PM  | Reply
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I never knew their last names were Morrissey Smith and Johnny Marr-Smith. Thanks for clarifying, Nocturne!

Posted by: blah at 04/29/09 1:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

dude, you forgot will smith.

Posted by: dancerwithbruisedknees profile link at 04/29/09 1:44 PM  | Reply
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There's NO WAY this is real. But if it is, it's hilarious/pathetic. If it isn't, it's hilarious/brilliant satire.

Posted by: mouchette1 profile link at 04/29/09 1:52 PM  | Reply
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Yeah, I think it's actually funnier if it's not real. Have we learned nothing from the old, creepy pedophile guy? Fiction is safe; real life is sad and dangerous.

Posted by: J  in reply to  mouchette1's comment at 04/29/09 2:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Either way, I'm totally subscribing to that shit.

Posted by: ManDMo profile link  in reply to  mouchette1's comment at 04/29/09 9:20 PM  | Reply
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"I wish my name was Nocturne Smith, cause it would really represent the facelessness that comes with a name as common as Smith, you know, the very drudgery of everyday life."....um, what?


Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 04/29/09 1:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

He forgot John Smith too. JAMESTOWN ,YEAH!

Posted by: J at 04/29/09 2:03 PM  | Reply
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He forgot about Michael W. Smith.

Posted by: techno-geek spreadsheet at 04/29/09 3:08 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

i like his drawings of the post-apocalyptic world in the background.

Posted by: Mandy profile link at 04/29/09 5:24 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

"Excuse me, I'm John Smith."

"John Smith, 1882?"

"My mistake."

Obscure Simpsons references, FTW.

Posted by: Paper Werewolf profile link at 04/29/09 5:26 PM  | Reply
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The saddest sniffles.

Posted by: staveitoff profile link at 04/29/09 5:39 PM  | Reply
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personally I like the licorice Neutral Milk Hotel guy better ....
But if Nocturne and licorice boy came together and did a Neutral Milk Hotel song then really I think nothing could bet that

Posted by: Sarah at 04/29/09 5:48 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

No, it's real. I don't think there's anyone that good. He's far too convinced of his own superiority to be fake.

Check out his Worst Day Ever video. His account of his worst day ever begins with "So I went to Best Buy" and contains a Limp Bizkit quote.

Posted by: ManDMo profile link at 04/29/09 9:03 PM  | Reply
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I like how he always has his terrible drawings in the back ground. Personally I think its all an act. The turttle necks and eye shadow whilst waxing poetic about the nature of "Smith" is all a con to pick up dumb wannabe-hipster highschool girls. After he turns the camera off I bet he starts up his moms sewing machine and gets crackin on his new Naruto cosplay outfit or somethgin equally gay.

Posted by: Monkey at 04/30/09 1:31 AM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

The Smiths? Nobody in that band has the last name of Smith, stupid......... And you forgot Patti Smith.

Posted by: dudethisrocks profile link at 04/30/09 10:52 PM  | Reply
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My favorite parts are when he throws in head back in Elliot Smith induced orgasmic bliss.

Posted by: Alessa Valentine profile link at 06/05/09 11:46 AM  | Reply
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