That's Your Boyfriend: Guy Who Pays For Impounded Car With Pennies
"He's really smart," you always tell your friends. "Like, he's corny and goofy, but it's actually because he's so smart." He and his friends will get together and set things on fire and pee off of railroad bridges into the river, because they have this sort of innate intelligence and they recognize that the world is absurd, you know? (That is what you say, stuff like that.) Like, recently, his car got towed, and so he had to pay 88 dollars to get it out of the impound lot, but, like, so he took 88 dollars in pennies because it's legal tender and they are obligated by law to accept it? So his friends went with him and, like, they videotaped the whole thing? Because they knew it would be hilarious? And the cops came? Oh man, I mean, we fight a lot because his friends are always around and it's never just the two of us, oh, and he's never once bought me a present. Like, last year, for my birthday, he gave me a stuffed animal he found in a cardboard box on the street, and I got bed bugs in my house and had to throw out all of my clothes, and he has never taken me out to dinner because he doesn't "believe" in going out to dinner. But, like, you don't know him the way that I know him. (All stuff that you tell your friends, constantly.)
You're trying to figure out whether to get his name tattooed on your lower back or your inner-thigh. But I think you should get it tattooed on your throat. (Via BuzzFeed.)
Posted by Gabe at 12:30 PM in That's Your Boyfriend
Tags: C.R.E.A.M. | Cars
What accent is that?! I feel like my ears have been molested!
Score = 8
His voice sounds just like Kenny Powers (the character, not the commenter).
Score = 2
I just googled "Lake Bradford Road" and it's Tallahassee! I bet Lindsay would have something to say about this.
Score = 2
I would never deliberately offend Lindsay, she is the true Champion of My Heart.
Score = 6
Lindsay is OUR princess, too. And apparently today is Gabe's birthday, so he can be our Princess too. But only for a day.
Score = 6
i seen dis bafore. so i don need ta wath it but rite now im watching da mastur of disguys!!1
becom a nudder persun!!
Score = 10
Uh
Score = 1
Do you know what, I have actually seen that movie. Once again, Cake Eatur, you have made me giggle.
Score = 3
Irrelevant.
Score = 0
Ugh! Don't these cops have better things to do than deal with this asshole's pennies? Catch the roaming Burmese pythons infesting their state, maybe?
Yeah, I'll see myself out.
Score = 0
You know what would have been funny, ASSPENNIES.
Score = 11
I like Jordan's scarf.
Score = 2
Pure legal asshole.
Score = 20
I pulled this same bit in high school and they wouldn't take the pennies either.
I threatened to call the cops, but cell phones were still a Jules Verne dream.
The car was registered to my mom, so they called my mom. She came down to the tow place and I got my ass TOLD...I paid with a tear stained check minutes later.
MOMS RULE EVERYTHING AROUND ME.
Score = 38
You were an unfunny dick in high school.
Score = 15
I guess he was expecting to give the pennies to the same person who towed his car. He probably yells at the guy behind the counter at Carls Jr. because they don't carry the 6000 Calorie Hot Babe Barbecue Blaster anymore.
Also, having worked in customer service for five years, I'd need three hands to count the jokesters who have pulled this shit with me. That girl was far too nice to him.
Score = 20
There is nothing better than directing unjustified anger at the absolute wrong person.
Score = 29
Pennies are such a funny currency.
Score = 8
Hey, great use of our tax dollars, you assholes! No surprise that he drives a monte carlo, the car of choice of cheap douchebags.
Score = 6
It's a good thing they got that all sorted out because it's not like campus golf is going to play itself.
Score = 27
Point made!1!!!!!11!! But, I was unclear on whether or not the pennies were legal tender?
Score = 15
the guys says "pure legal tender" way too often to not have just read it somewhere a day ago.
Score = 35
100 percent pure legal H2O!
Score = 13
Haha! He's wearing a fucking W.W.J.D. bracelet! Jesus would definitely pay $88 dollars in pennies to an impound lot.
Score = 46
okay so I'm an idiot that puts $88 dollars, but get over it.
Score = 15
This video needs to be shown to each of these kid's parents with an accompanying lecture entitled something like "Look What You Did: Removing Your Child's Empathy Through Entitlement Such that Even Minor Traffic Violations Must Be Rightfully AVENGED".
Score = 79
i want to upvote this forever.
Score = 11
come on you guys, we have to spread the word and support the penny paying movement! god knows this moron can't waste all the police time on his own!
pure legal douchebag
Score = 9
Ed Hardy t-shirt? Check. Casual Borat reference? Check. Yes, definitely my boyfriends. Thank you, Gabe!
Score = 29
Misuse of the word "socialist"? Double-check.
Score = 28
I hope all the bad things in life happen to douchebags who try to pay for more than a couple of bucks with change. When I used to cashier, some horrendous asshole gave me $11 in change, mostly nickels, that was stowed away in two old, stained tube socks. There were also fistfuls of hair (whose, I don't know - his, his mom's, or his cats') all in the change. I wanted to cry as I had to sort through the nickels and hair, but in retrospect, I should have beaten him mercilessly with the socks of money like Private Vincent D'Onofrio. I've got to learn to live in the moment with no regrets, and if that means assaulting assholes with socks full of change, then so be it.
Score = 34
I think some variation of this story has happened to every person who's ever worked a register at a gas station or a box store. Mine involved a dusty old growler that obviously hadn't been washed out between the time it held beer and the time it was used for change.
I never minded when kids would pay in change, because they've probably been saving ages for their new pokemons or whatever, but my personal rule was that if you drove yourself to the store and then paid me in handfuls of change, I reserved the right to glare at you and tell you to "have a great day" through gritted teeth.
Score = 9
I hate my boyfriend's class ring and his giggling frat buddies
Score = 5
At first I thought this guy was just your run of the mill ass hole with few, if any, redeemable qualities like the rest of you. Then he managed to force 7 (by their count so probably 4) cops to total ass holes on camera as well. If that wasn't enough, these cops were ass holes without the aid of baton, pepper spray, or taser! See, when you look at this as a cop video and not a civilian douche-bag video the glass is 1/8th full! It is a good day for internet cop videos my friends... a good day indeed.
Score = 8
knock knock
Score = 0
more like collegenothumor
Score = 0
PURE LEGAL TENDER
Score = 0
If I hear the phrase, "pure legal tender" one more time, Im going to stab my boyfriend.
Score = 20
it's really socialist to not accept pennies...in fact, the first principle of socialism is to not create currency of a value less than 5 cents.
Score = 25
Yeah I do remember that sad part in 1984 when Winston is tortured for buying a pack of condoms with pennies. Thank God for freedom-fighters such as this brave man.
Score = 13
Someone needs to put all them pennies into a sack and clock that giggling prick. I got your "pure legal tender" right here.
Score = 6
then you pull your peen out
Score = 3
What's even more annoying is how you keep telling your boyfriend to submit this to the Academy for Best Live Action Short Film.
Score = 5
If this is college, we just took Econ 101 with a guy who said fifty-hundred.
Score = 13
I might have to try this at the DMV next time I have to replace my tags; not because I'm a total douche (which I am), but because they still live in 1943 where credit cards haven't been invented yet.
Score = 7
So he took a stand against the man by using pennies to pay for the release of a car that HE illegally parked?
That's so smart! You guys are just h8erz.
Score = 8
if someone tried that at my job, i would say "JOKE'S ON YOU. BECAUSE I'M BUILDING A PENNY FORT"
and then i would.
and it would be the finest fort in all the land.
Score = 35
Yo' Elliot! Do you Date me? Cause, Like, I wanna live in your penny fort!
Score = 3
Total dick move, but it reminds me of that scene in the convenience store from 30 Rock. "It's against the law!"
Score = 5
The Borat impression at 9:00 really makes this amazing. I wonder why more great social commentary doesn't come out of Florida. Also, the accents in this video sound exactly like what a Florida crab shack smells like. Jesus, what assholes. That poor receptionist doesn't come to where these guys work and slap the dicks out of their mouths with 88 dollars worth of pennies.
Score = 9
the worst part about the borat impression is that it's actually more yoda.
Score = 2
I hope the impound lot makes a special effort to impound your boyfriend's car for the most minor violations when they see him parked around Tallahassee.
Score = 6
He found out his car was 'toad'?
Score = -2
I was just reading an article on Time commemorating the 100th birthday of the Lincoln penny (timely!), and it contains this little nugget of information: "While federal law states that coins are legal tender, it does not compel anyone to accept them. If a business doesn't want to take pennies — or a $100 bill, for that matter — it has a legal right to refuse them."
Of course, every time I try to read this to my boyfriend, he just blasts his Slipknot CD to drown me out.
Score = 27
How'd they get that many cops to show up? YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK, PEOPLE.
Fuck it, I'm gonna start paying my taxes in nickels. Watch for my video, guys!
Score = 8
Where is this magical land where it costs $88 to get a car out of tow? If it was so cheap here, I'd park in front of fire hydrants ALL DAY LONG.
Score = 13
Someone definitely got rear-ended on the way home.
Score = 2
Im sure all those dudes had their fair share of that activity. eh...eh? Plus that socialist comment makes me want to erase their parents.
Score = 2
"I bet she's so pissed." High school graduates everyone, high school graduates.
Score = 3
College Humor indeed.
Score = 4
I'm curious as to what "un-pure" legal tender is.
Score = 2
When I was a kid, I saved up enough change to buy the first Marilyn Manson CD. The counterperson was friendly and polite when I counted it all out, nickel by nickel, penny by penny.
Years later, I was the clerk, and a polite kid came in to buy whatever was the best indie rock CD of the year with all change. Of course it was annoying, but then I remembered Marilyn Manson and couldn't EVEN get mad. I counted the change out for him. Karma was very, very kind to me.
Score = 4
That was supposed to be in reply to somebody up there, but you know what fuck it. Commenting fail + admitting I bought a Marilyn Manson CD with all change = I'M THE KING, today. Pour me a drink.
Score = 7
Marry me.
Score = 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3-UTb-grvI
Score = 1
Did anybody catch it when the friend was giving a status update of the scandal and he said, "Right now she's refusing to even take the ROLLED-UP DOLLAR BILLS."
GAFF! Oh man, these guys are not a riot!
Score = 5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I could have sworn I heard '911 what's your emergency?' when he called the police?? 'For all you slow people out there...' Also the irony of them quoting Borat when they are exactly the idiots who would fall victim to him.
Score = 4
Seriously? You guys are siding with tow truck companies? I don't know how they work in your town but as far as I know they are the bottom feeding scum of the earth. Last year I had to pick up my mom after her car was towed while she was at a Baseball game. She parked in front of an abandoned strip mall across the street from the stadium lot (which was full). About 30 other people were towed. No one saw the tow away zone sign at the other end of the lot. We hear from a cop directing traffic that this particular company does this during every game. It's a set up. Post a couple signs on the far end of a lot that always gets overflow from the stadium lot. After the National anthem, start cashing in. Towing companies in Florida will also tow cars from lots without any signs posted (illegal), but since you would have to take them to court to get your money back (and after court costs there won't be much left) most people don't bother.
So we go to pick up her car at this rotten impound lot. The office was some filthy mildew hole of a trailer and the "customer service" was some ex-con extra from Monster talking his probably equally rotten girlfriend through a DUI. Total bottom feeders, these guys.
My point is, asshole behavior begets asshole behavior. So what? Some "clever" prankster wants to take out some douchey revenge on the douchey towing company, and some poor girl working in the payment office has to deal people that are angry because they're being robbed. O woe is she. What a miserable plight, collecting money for a racket.
Sure, it sucks that this guy is my boyfriend. But you're totally into Loomis from ABC towing, and you're having his FAS baby.
Score = -7
While it seems that the penny payer in question may have "taken it out" on some poor hard working girl, I think is ire was probably justified. Private tow companies pull really crappy stuff ALL the time, The majority of "violators" they tow and impound are poor, hard working people who had the misfortune of being targeted by tow drivers and owners who see an easy way to extort money from people who can't afford to lose there cars for a day or two. These practices are well documented and the solution is to make them all public, with no private company having the right to move disturb or otherwise molest private property, simple fix. As to the legal status of pennies? I don't think they really are legal tender , I may be wrong but i believe they are actually a tax thing, As a mater of fact I think that may apply to all change. It doesn't say on Change, " for all debts, public and private" like paper currency. Oh well.
Score = -2
The "Oh, well" really detracts from the overall tone of political activism.
Score = 0
not shown: dude driving down to his financial institution and making his loan payment with rolls of nickels
Score = 1
This is not my boyfriend. IRL, this is my husband's grandmother. She tried to pay the highway toll with pennies, and was mad that the toll taker wouldn't accept the pennies either. She did drop a "PURE LEGAL TENDER" on the poor worker, I am told. Eventually, since she had nothing else to pay with, they did accept the pennies, but this incident is just one that justifies me in trying to get her Driver's License taken away.
Score = 1
this guy is a ass pirate. i'm no fan of the tow racket but that was just a real dick move. oh and if any of you want to get back at the lowlife tow companies, get a shitbox car, park somewhere you know it'll be towed, (watch out for cameras and sneaky tow truck drivers sitting down the block waiting for victims) back it into a spot, take all the lug nuts off the right rear wheel, put one back on a couple turns, put the rest in your pocket. he'll go about 2 blocks and the fun begins! you'll end up with a settlement check and that tow driver will be pumping gas at the corner station. hahaha wow.. i guess i'm a dick too? oh well..........
Score = -1
I'd feel this would be funnier if:
A. It weren't a bunch of College Humor frat boys.
B. This were actually an original prank.
Score = 0
"Kids. search the couches. Daddy ignored the parking laws again."
Score = 0