That's Your Boyfriend: Ellis Lankster
Like um like um like um like um like um you love him and like um like um he is your boyfriend and like um like um like um like um like um like um you are probably going to get married and like um like um like um like um like um like um live in a pre-fab mcmansion in Alpine, New Jersey and like um like um like um like um have three like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um kids and admittedly like um like um you might end up getting divorced like um like um you're just aware of the statistics like um like um like um like um but like um like um but like um but like um but like um but like um but like but like um life is nothing without a little like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um risk. (Via BuzzFeed.)
Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in That's Your Boyfriend
Tags: Buffalo Bills | Ellis Lankster | Football | Sports
poor guy's obviously semi-literate. this makes kitty sad.
shit, it's no cats day, isn't it?
Score = 10
Yes, you should not be around today :p
Score = 4
Score = 13
OHH! So that is what your avatar is. a cat! I couldn't really make it out and thought it was a photo shopped snowy owl.
Score = 0
The Best: you responded in first person feline.
Score = 0
Aw, poor guy with his church boy smile and his heavy accent probably was just intimidated by a roomful of people with microphones in his face. He just seemed super nervous to me. Nervous and ridiculous.
Score = 35
Is this some form of Tourette's? If so, aww. If not, ha ha! and then aww.
Score = 10
I'm usually trapped in a love-hate relationship with my boyfriend. I feel like one of the girls on Tool Academy. Everyone always tells me how much of a loser my boyfriend is. How his proposal videos in his kids underwear was gross, and how his dorm room threats are juvenile, and I can't even make excuses for them. But with Ellis, I will proudly stand by my man. Just because he has a speech impediment, it doesn't make him a bad guy. He's a great guy once you get to know him, he just has a stutter. Please don't be so quick to judge.
Score = 23
Team doctors need to do a better job of checking for concussions.
Score = 17
Ellis and Lil Wayne have both just been tenured at Succinct University.
Score = 11
I only got :29 in and had to stop. I'd hate to hear the remix of this.
Score = 4
Done and done.
Score = 11
Okay I was mistaken I love hearing the remix. You win internet, you win.
Score = 8
the remix makes me want to have ellis as my legitimate boyfriend. those jerkin' dance kids have been replaced. oh, cruel, fickle love.
Score = 2
not for me.
the maternal, protective love i feel for this poor guy (seriously, speaking in public is one of the most common fears around, you meanies!) is nothing compared to the joyful, wondering love i feel for those little jerkin' kids. this guy needs some tea and to be told it's okay to be bad on mic, to gently but firmly me encouraged to seek PR training. but those jerkin' kids don't need anything i can teach them, aside from to be more careful at busy intersections because that was pretty dangerous.
Score = 2
hm. yes, maybe this is a different kind of love. all i know is that i wanna give him a hug. but i still will not fully explore what kind of love i have for those jerkin' kids, because seriously, they're underage! i don't want to be a creepster!
Score = 0
Whats up with his super phonetic name? Way too many consonants all up in the middle, if you ask me.
Score = 11
I was the same way about the original; I could not get through it because it was just so mortifying. But that remix is one of the better Internet remixes I've ever heard. I almost want it for my, um, ringtone.
Score = 3
What the what- this was supposed to be in reply to Becca. You'd think I'd have figured this replying thing out by now.
Score = 4
He just got drafted into the NFL and will be paid more than everyone on the entire internet, so the golden flakes he sprinkles in his protein shakes should, like um, help him feel better about this.
Score = 13
Well, he's actually a lowly seventh round pick meaning he's only got bronze flakes to sprinkle with no guaranteed contract or fancy paycheck to brag bout. And he referred to them as "Sir." Gotta hug him just for that.
Score = 11
He needs a hug and a tranq, maybe he'll calm down and like, um, answer a question coherently.
Score = -5
Score = 20
i have a couple college degrees, a professional job, and just got accepted to grad school, but seriously? this is like um exactly how i um talk when i'm nervous and uh haven't written my uh exact thoughts like down before speaking, you know? from one awful public speaker to another, i feel your pain, ellis.
Score = 30
Yeah he is definitely your boyfriend. At first you were just like, "yeah I like um like um like um like um like um like um like um." But things are really going great and now you think you love um love um love um love um love um love um love um.
Score = 0
Cool, I didn't know it was make fun of people with stutters day. Can't wait for, throw rocks at the blind day. Classy
On second thought, can we change today to, make fun of the savants who designed the user profile, sign in, & leave a comment section of this website? Smooth as butter.
Score = 2
Personally, I prefer to mock those with a lisp, such as my younger brother.
Score = 3
I realized our marriage was doomed immediately after his 34 minute proposal.
Score = 16
Nerves can make the best of us look like a bumbling idiots. He grew up in rural Alabama went to college in West Virginia and now he's conducting his first NFL press conference. Nerve inducing stuff to be sure. I think we should leave the poor kid alone. Not like I'm telling you what to do, i just feel really bad for him.
Score = 18
I want to give my boyfriend a big ol' hug right now.
Score = 4
I play football on the football field. With a football.
Score = -2
It's comforting to know the dignity which is offered to people with obvious speech impediments.
It especially helps when such considerate, and thoughtful, responses to what can be a near constant source of shameful humiliation, something that can often lead to crippling social anxiety, comes from people who generally revel in mocking people they perceive to be intolerant.
And it was so clever of you as well to mask those thoughtful remarks through the ironic impersonation of a schoolyard bully.
Score = 8
I started to edit out all the like ums. Then I got sad and went back to work.
Score = 2
already did it for you -
You love him and he is your boyfriend and you are probably going to get married and live in a pre-fab mcmansion in Alpine, New Jersey and have three kids and admittedly you might end up getting divorced you're just aware of the statistics but but but but but but but life is nothing without a little risk.
- find and replace yall!
Score = 1
normally i would make a joke. but my brother in law speaks this exact same way.
I got to feel for the guy. I see the pain my bro in law goes through when his friends make fun of him. and i know this guy feels bad. :(
Score = 0
someone was a communications major....
Score = -4
"I was like um" is the new "na'amsayin"
Score = -1
you know what else is funny?
people with limps!
stupid dummies! learn to walk right! don't like to be mocked? well, you should've thought of that before you were born with a crippling disability, or got into that accident where you were left permanently injured!
Score = 4
HAHAHA. Look at this guy, stupid moron can't string two words together! HAHAHA. Stuttering people are hilarious! Fuck you.
Score = 0
That's Your Boyfriend: Guy Who Makes Fun of People With Serious Speech Impediments
Score = 6
Ughm....
Score = 0
what the hell, gabe. you're above this, really. i hope you read what Duston wrote
Score = -1
Ellis is not my boyfriend because I only date d-bags. Clearly, Ellis is a polite young man who has a speech impediment or a problem with public speaking. Therefore, he is not a d-bag and we will not be dating.
Score = 2
Is this supposed to be a joke? I do not find it funny to poke fun at people that are trying really hard but have to deal with their own challenges. Especially when they have the extra pressure of being in the spotlight. It is good to see that a lot of the posters share this sentiment. Besides, I thought that this is how all Americans speak.
Score = -1
I am a little annoyed by this "story" so I will make a second comment!
"I think that people with speech impediments are hilarious! P.S. I am everything that I pretend to hate" -- Gabe's Tombstone
Score = -1
Please Gabe, see the error in your ways and take this down. This guy clearly doesn't deserve to be ridiculed for having a speech impediment. There's so much cruelty on the internet, Videogum doesn't need to go there.
Score = -1
holy crap, dude replace kid cudi with this guy, ratatat and mgmt and its a friggin HIT!
Score = 0